Does anyone disagree/reject their diagnosis?

Page 1 of 2 [ 32 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

autotelica
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jul 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 48

13 Jul 2012, 6:40 pm

I don't think that I am autistic. I think I have a schizoid personality and that I have chronic catatonia and some cognitive weirdness--and none of these are very fun. But despite what my psychologist says, I don't think I am autistic. This whole week I tried to get used to the idea, and it hasn't stuck. I don't think it ever will.

I don't think I have "mind blindness." I know how to read body language, though I admit that mine is ambiguous. I have a great sense of humor, and while it takes a lot to make laugh, I understand other people's jokes pretty easily. I'm only a bit gullible. I think I am a pretty good conversationalist when the planets align perfectly.

Otherwise, yes I fit the phenotype. But I still don't think I'm autistic. Just someone who looks that way.

My psychologist has been working with me every week for several years, so she did not reach her conclusion based on scant information. I can't really argue with her because I know what the DSM says and I know what I look like. Her conclusion makes sense. But I can't accept this diagnosis. It just doesn't seem right.

I joined the board because I don't know where else to talk about this. I admit that I feel uncomfortable because I'm not feeling the "pride" that everyone seems to have. I'd like to know if there are people like me. People who know they are quirky but don't feel comfortable labeling it in a specific way.



MakaylaTheAspie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jun 2011
Age: 27
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 14,565
Location: O'er the land of the so-called free and the home of the self-proclaimed brave. (Oregon)

13 Jul 2012, 6:44 pm

Keep in mind that autism affects everyone differently. Don't expect to be a textbook case whenever you think of it.

As for me, I've accepted and embraced it. It's not that I'm proud to be autistic, I'm just proud of being me.


_________________
Hi there! Please refer to me as Moss. Unable to change my username to reflect that change. Have a nice day. <3


Atomsk
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Apr 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,423

13 Jul 2012, 7:35 pm

The thing you must remember, as the poster above me said, is that there are very few 'textbook' cases of autism - in fact in my observation, no two people with any form of autism share the same symptoms, or the same manifestations of the same symptoms.

For example, I have autism, and my life isn't as filled with rituals and schedules as others I know with it. There are others here, who do not have so much difficulty reading body language. Most people with autism don't have all the symptoms of it - otherwise it would be required to have all the symptoms to get a diagnosis. There are very stereotypical views of autism out there - forget the stereotypes.

Another thing is that sometimes, due to the nature of autism, people with autism will think they're good with body language, or some other aspect, but because of their lacking skills in that department, they don't realize they have problems with it. I'm not saying you're one of these people - I'm just saying that some people here have expressed this happening to them in the past. Myself included.

It's not about filling out all of the symptom boxes, but filling out enough to get a diagnosis, which is apparently what happened with you. Your doctor could be wrong, but if they've a lot of time and testing and such into it, I wouldn't be surprised if you have autism.

I personally was diagnosed as a young child - so I accepted my diagnosis - I was too young to even knew what it meant, though, and I didn't even know it was a disability.

What I would do, if I were you, would be to read some posts on these forums - to see if or how you identify with the others here. If your doctor was correct and you do have autism, then you'll likely find a lot of people with experiences with which you identify.

Also, it's not necessarily a bad thing if you have autism - if you have it, you've had it your entire life so far. I'm not proud of mine at all - but I firmly believe I have it due to all the similarities between myself and others with autism, and I'm fine with having autism - it's what makes me who I am. I would get rid of many of the symptoms if I could, though.

Welcome to WP, you're welcome here whether you have autism or not. Hopefully reading the posts here can give you some answers for yourself.



bizboy1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 945
Location: California, USA

13 Jul 2012, 7:39 pm

I don't know. I'm kind of in denial. I have people telling me I have it and I'm having other people questioning it.


_________________
INTJ


autotelica
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jul 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 48

13 Jul 2012, 7:46 pm

Thanks for the replies. I think you guys are right that I'm comparing myself against the textbook. But I don't know anyone who is autistic, so the textbook is the only thing I've got.

I think I am also used to seeing myself as someone with a personality disorder. It took me a couple of years to get used to that idea. And now I'm having to toss all of that out of the window. As messed-up as it is to have a personality disorder, it's harder to misdiagnose someone with one. Either they have the symptoms or they don't.

I think I am also worried that this will change the work I do in therapy. I like my therapist very much. I don't want her to think I have an unfixable problem and give up on me.



1000Knives
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,036
Location: CT, USA

13 Jul 2012, 7:57 pm

I rejected my NVLD/mild ASD/schizoid diagnosis for about 2 years after I got it. Because first off, the schizoid DX was wrong and the people they sent me to said that you shouldn't diagnose someone who is 17 schizoid/schizoaffective. So why should I trust their NVLD diagnosis when their schizoid one was wrong?

Anyway, what finally made me accept my NVLD/AS diagnosis was other social workers I worked with who weren't jerkfaces telling me I had it (though I still didn't believe them either at the time) and then meeting someone who had NVLD/AS like myself. I saw all the issues he had, and we were in sorta the same setting, and I had the same problems as him. Then I read about the NVLD more, and I fit the profile to a T, and then I retook my verbal and performance IQ tests online, saw the same gap talked about in the eval a couple years before, and yeah...

So yeah, I did. Honestly it's probably more a sign you have it if you disagree with the diagnosis, when I brought up that NVLD and Aspergers were different to a psych, she was like "Yeah, that's probably your Aspergers concrete thinking..." But, it is what it is. It's in the eye of the beholder, at least ASD is, some professionals will tell you "Yeah you got it" and others won't, psychiatry isn't very scientific, it's all subjective on many levels.



Atomsk
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Apr 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,423

13 Jul 2012, 8:39 pm

autotelica wrote:
Thanks for the replies. I think you guys are right that I'm comparing myself against the textbook. But I don't know anyone who is autistic, so the textbook is the only thing I've got.

I think I am also used to seeing myself as someone with a personality disorder. It took me a couple of years to get used to that idea. And now I'm having to toss all of that out of the window. As messed-up as it is to have a personality disorder, it's harder to misdiagnose someone with one. Either they have the symptoms or they don't.

I think I am also worried that this will change the work I do in therapy. I like my therapist very much. I don't want her to think I have an unfixable problem and give up on me.


You have all of the people with some form of autism here on WP to compare yourself with. I don't know many people with autism in person, and for me and many people on this site, WP is the only place we can really talk about our autism at all, let alone with other people who have it.

Also your therapy shouldn't be changing much or going away. Therapy is to help adjust to, fix, or make a work around for problems you have.



Apple_in_my_Eye
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,420
Location: in my brain

13 Jul 2012, 8:49 pm

Seems like people diagnosed young want to escape it, and those diagnosed older embrace it.



NorthPark
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Dec 2011
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 535
Location: California

13 Jul 2012, 9:23 pm

I go back and forth between embracing it and denying it.

Maybe I just have a speech delay 8O 8O


_________________
Life is not designed to be fair.....BUT THAT'S NOT FAIR!

MBTI- ISTP


Sparrowrose
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Oct 2009
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,682
Location: Idaho, USA

13 Jul 2012, 9:35 pm

I was diagnosed with Asperger's 11 years ago and went through a long roller-coaster of denying it/accepting it/denying it/accepting it. I'm still not thrilled about the whole thing, but I've finally settled down into a place where I realize it's undeniable and it's not going away so I try to learn ways to work around it, ways to see what's good about it, etc. I strive to always use it as an explanation, not an excuse. And I try to use the understanding I've gained through diagnosis as a tool to help me navigate the world more effectively, with less offense to others, and in a manner that is most likely to cause the sorts of outcomes I prefer in life.

I previously had a long string of ill-fitting and half-fitting misdiagnoses and schizoid personality disorder was one of them. I spent a lot of time in a SPD forum and learned as much as I could about SPD. But it doesn't fit me for various reasons. I have strong emotions -- basic, simple emotions: happy, sad, angry, but very strong expressions of these things. I *do* respond strongly to praise and criticism. I have many hobbies and interests that I deeply enjoy. SPD doesn't really fit me.

But I was diagnosed with SPD as a result of taking the MMPI and that test frequently misdiagnoses people who actually have Asperger's as if they had schizoid personality disorder and/or borderline personality disorder. The MMPI will misdiagnose me with personality disorders every time and it's because that test was not designed to be able to accurately detect Asperger's Syndrome.

Sparrow


_________________
"In the end, we decide if we're remembered for what happened to us or for what we did with it."
-- Randy K. Milholland

Avatar=WWI propaganda poster promoting victory gardens.


legomyego
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 31 Mar 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 313

13 Jul 2012, 10:19 pm

i took the mmpi but that was part of my aspergers diagnosis...(didn't see the relevance to aspergers though and took some other tests as well)

I have trouble believing i have aspergers or any sort of autism because i've not met many who share similar traits.
For instance routine is not a huge deal to me....
I do however see the disconnected verbal communication rhythm i seem to have with those around me especially involving groups over 1 person.
I dont identify myself as being particularily smart, and i'm sure most people on this forum could run mental laps around me. I have trouble keeping up in school or with a job.
I took an iq test a couple of times and got 125-130 but i figure i've lost points through various means and just means i'm a decent test taker imo.



bizboy1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 945
Location: California, USA

13 Jul 2012, 10:26 pm

1000Knives wrote:
I rejected my NVLD/mild ASD/schizoid diagnosis for about 2 years after I got it. Because first off, the schizoid DX was wrong and the people they sent me to said that you shouldn't diagnose someone who is 17 schizoid/schizoaffective. So why should I trust their NVLD diagnosis when their schizoid one was wrong?

Anyway, what finally made me accept my NVLD/AS diagnosis was other social workers I worked with who weren't jerkfaces telling me I had it (though I still didn't believe them either at the time) and then meeting someone who had NVLD/AS like myself. I saw all the issues he had, and we were in sorta the same setting, and I had the same problems as him. Then I read about the NVLD more, and I fit the profile to a T, and then I retook my verbal and performance IQ tests online, saw the same gap talked about in the eval a couple years before, and yeah...

So yeah, I did. Honestly it's probably more a sign you have it if you disagree with the diagnosis, when I brought up that NVLD and Aspergers were different to a psych, she was like "Yeah, that's probably your Aspergers concrete thinking..." But, it is what it is. It's in the eye of the beholder, at least ASD is, some professionals will tell you "Yeah you got it" and others won't, psychiatry isn't very scientific, it's all subjective on many levels.


f**k psychiatry. Well put.


_________________
INTJ


1000Knives
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,036
Location: CT, USA

13 Jul 2012, 10:50 pm

bizboy1 wrote:
1000Knives wrote:
I rejected my NVLD/mild ASD/schizoid diagnosis for about 2 years after I got it. Because first off, the schizoid DX was wrong and the people they sent me to said that you shouldn't diagnose someone who is 17 schizoid/schizoaffective. So why should I trust their NVLD diagnosis when their schizoid one was wrong?

Anyway, what finally made me accept my NVLD/AS diagnosis was other social workers I worked with who weren't jerkfaces telling me I had it (though I still didn't believe them either at the time) and then meeting someone who had NVLD/AS like myself. I saw all the issues he had, and we were in sorta the same setting, and I had the same problems as him. Then I read about the NVLD more, and I fit the profile to a T, and then I retook my verbal and performance IQ tests online, saw the same gap talked about in the eval a couple years before, and yeah...

So yeah, I did. Honestly it's probably more a sign you have it if you disagree with the diagnosis, when I brought up that NVLD and Aspergers were different to a psych, she was like "Yeah, that's probably your Aspergers concrete thinking..." But, it is what it is. It's in the eye of the beholder, at least ASD is, some professionals will tell you "Yeah you got it" and others won't, psychiatry isn't very scientific, it's all subjective on many levels.


f**k psychiatry. Well put.


Well, there's some well meaning people there, some people who occasionally are helpful. But for the most part...yeah...

The way I see psychiatry is, it's the modern day religion of the populace. Whereas as societies, we were usually governed morally, on religious grounds, now that religion on a whole is less popular, we turned to psychiatry for our answers instead. Our answers of what's "right" and "wrong." For example, homosexuality was considered a mental disorder until DSM III (or was it IV?) so what caused the change? Did homosexuality suddenly become less "wrong" out of nowhere? No, people's perceptions changed, and thus did psychiatry. This has happened with a lot of things, ie, firearms, nowadays if a teenager is interested in guns, it's taken negatively, but I was watching Leave it to Beaver, and they talk about his uncle mailing Wally a revolver like it's absolutely nothing. What happened? Did guns get more evil? No, people's perceptions changed.

Psychiatry isn't really that different from the moral police in places like Iran and Saudi Arabia, albeit it's less harsh usually, but it's the exact same concept. That said, again, there's some well intentioned people in the field, so I can't "hate" them all or anything, but it's a flawed field, with a lot of bad people in it too.



autotelica
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jul 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 48

13 Jul 2012, 11:35 pm

Schizoid is a safer diagnosis. It doesn't require one to exhibit symptoms in childhood. It can be a brain wiring thing (if it's related to schizophrenia...as I suspected it was for me) or a psychological/environmental thing. It also seems to describe my personality better than autism does. I can admit that my physical self is autistic-like, but not my mind (if that makes sense).

I don't know why I keep thinking this changes things. It really doesn't. I didn't walk around telling people about my schizoidism. People can see that I'm eccentric. It's not something I even need to talk about. If people want to know why I move funny, I can tell them that I have a movement disorder--just like I do now. So whether I accept the diagnosis or not, it doesn't change anything. No one has to know unless I tell them.

I think maybe it won't seem like a big deal as time goes. It won't be something I strongly identify with, but maybe I will allow it to protect my ego some. I don't want to use the label as an excuse or even an explanation. But maybe that's what I need for me to move forward in my life and stop beating myself up so much.



KittyCommand0r
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jan 2012
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 64

14 Jul 2012, 1:12 am

Apple_in_my_Eye wrote:
Seems like people diagnosed young want to escape it, and those diagnosed older embrace it.

I think it has to do with what people go through at certain times in their life. When you are younger, having a label of autism is not a good thing to have when other kids can use it to pick on you and make your life worse. Nobody wants to be that kid who has to go to the special ed class or speech class or anything like that. It puts a target on your head. When you get older, you are can accept things a little easier and not be so ashamed when you don't have to worry about everyone around you wanting to make you miserable for being the weird kid. Especially now that Aspergers is like the new ADD or something and the cool thing to do to make fun of people is to call them an aspie or say they have ass burgers and things of that nature.



outofplace
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jun 2012
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,771
Location: In A State of Quantum Flux

14 Jul 2012, 1:44 am

I am self diagnosed and am probably going for a formal diagnosis soon. If it turns out to be true, I will have no problem accepting it as it will finally put a label on the difficulties I have experienced all of my life. The thing is though, I am not Asperger's Syndrome. I am a human being with feelings, thoughts and desires all my own. Whatever label applies to part of that does not change that I am an individual, not a specimen. I can change the way I deal with life if I so choose. Then again, I can choose not to as well. Asperger's doesn't take away my free will, but it may make certain things more difficult than it would be if I had different neurology. If my time researching autism has taught me anything it is that people with it are capable of great and wonderful things when they choose to utilize their talents properly. Many are also capable of learning most of the social rules of society and how to function in it, if they so choose. To me then, a diagnosis would be a jumping off point for the rest of my life, not a crippling disability.


_________________
Uncertain of diagnosis, either ADHD or Aspergers.
Aspie quiz: 143/200 AS, 81/200 NT; AQ 43; "eyes" 17/39, EQ/SQ 21/51 BAPQ: Autistic/BAP- You scored 92 aloof, 111 rigid and 103 pragmatic