Aspergers vs pdd-nos and sustaining conversation

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Atomsk
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21 Jun 2012, 7:28 am

again_with_this wrote:
This is a good question, and I'd have to counter with this:

QUESTION FOR EVERYONE HERE:

A lot of the responses to this post are "I can talk for hours about a subject I like," or, "People were the ones who didn't want to talk with me." But remember, you're not the one starting the conversation in this scenario. In terms of basic chit-chat, how long can you keep it going? And how long does it stay smooth? Supposing someone wants to talk to you, but not about anything you're interested in.


If it's small talk, basic chit chat, or whatever, with me it does not last long, unless the other person is very persistent and keeps asking questions and all that, and I keep answering them. But often, it will peter out fast - my answers are often very brief, or weird, or unrelated. I also often use gibberish when talking. So to answer your questions: -I- rarely keep it going beyond maybe "hello" (the other person must do the asking). It's also not smooth at all.



Mummy_of_Peanut
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21 Jun 2012, 7:41 am

Speaking as an observer (of my daughter), she can converse quite well, so long as she wants to. As soon as the conversation goes to something that she's not so interested in, the talking ends, or she changes the subject. I first realised she might be on the spectrum when I noticed how often I had to urge her to respond (not to questions, but to keep the conversation going). I found myself speaking for her or saying, 'A's told us about her holiday, tell her about your holiday'. But, she doesn't appear to meet the criteria for Aspergers, due to being the total opposite of what you'd expect, with regards to other traits.


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Mummy_of_Peanut
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21 Jun 2012, 7:55 am

Verdandi wrote:
OJani wrote:
I'm diagnosed with PDD-NOS, and to be honest, I don't give a sh** for diagnostic labels on the spectrum. They are vague at best.


I still like the analogy on the DSM-5 rationale page where the quote was something like "Trying to distinguish different ASD diagnoses is like trying to cut meatloaf at the joints."
That's a good one. :lol: Saves me trying to figure out what diagnosis my daughter might end up with (or what I'd get if I ever went for assessment). It's far too complicated and there are no clear lines between diagnoses and so many overlaps. I bought a book called 'When the labels don't fit', which should have really put me in the mindset of, 'Forget it, she's herself'.


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Ettina
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21 Jun 2012, 8:09 am

DSM-IV Asperger Syndrome doesn't actually exist. Everyone diagnosed with it actually technically meets criteria for autism, or else has PDD NOS.

Which is why DSM-5 is getting rid of those categories.



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21 Jun 2012, 12:16 pm

Mummy_of_Peanut wrote:
Speaking as an observer (of my daughter), she can converse quite well, so long as she wants to. As soon as the conversation goes to something that she's not so interested in, the talking ends, or she changes the subject. I first realised she might be on the spectrum when I noticed how often I had to urge her to respond (not to questions, but to keep the conversation going). I found myself speaking for her or saying, 'A's told us about her holiday, tell her about your holiday'. But, she doesn't appear to meet the criteria for Aspergers, due to being the total opposite of what you'd expect, with regards to other traits.



I remember I used to leave the conversation when the topic would change and I was not interested in it. Apparently I still do that but I try not to. I will stay for a few minutes and then leave. I did not become aware of it until I was 14 and mom was saying how people with AS may be talking and then the subject changes and they go "Okay I am done talking now, bye" and leaves the room. I said "that sound so inconsiderate and my mom said 'You do that." Then she said it was and sometimes they aren't aware of it and then they are and I am now just became aware of it and can now work on it. Sometimes I wonder mom telling me that was her way of trying to get me to become aware of it.


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littlelily613
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21 Jun 2012, 2:35 pm

I can't keep conversations going which is probably why I don't have many friends. Sometimes a conversation might go on for more than 10 minutes with particular people but that is usually due to the effort of the other person. I am terrible with conversations. That being said, I have classic autism, not Aspergers.


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Verdandi
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21 Jun 2012, 2:58 pm

League_Girl wrote:
I remember I used to leave the conversation when the topic would change and I was not interested in it. Apparently I still do that but I try not to. I will stay for a few minutes and then leave. I did not become aware of it until I was 14 and mom was saying how people with AS may be talking and then the subject changes and they go "Okay I am done talking now, bye" and leaves the room. I said "that sound so inconsiderate and my mom said 'You do that." Then she said it was and sometimes they aren't aware of it and then they are and I am now just became aware of it and can now work on it. Sometimes I wonder mom telling me that was her way of trying to get me to become aware of it.


I still do this.



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21 Jun 2012, 3:07 pm

again_with_this wrote:
In terms of basic chit-chat, how long can you keep it going? And how long does it stay smooth? Supposing someone wants to talk to you, but not about anything you're interested in.

If you're talking about small talk-type stuff, maybe 3-5 minutes; the other person almost always has to be the one to engage me in conversation. I have more stamina for topics I'm interested in--in those cases, though, I usually reach a point where I get tired and don't want to talk any more.



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21 Jun 2012, 3:13 pm

Verdandi wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
I remember I used to leave the conversation when the topic would change and I was not interested in it. Apparently I still do that but I try not to. I will stay for a few minutes and then leave. I did not become aware of it until I was 14 and mom was saying how people with AS may be talking and then the subject changes and they go "Okay I am done talking now, bye" and leaves the room. I said "that sound so inconsiderate and my mom said 'You do that." Then she said it was and sometimes they aren't aware of it and then they are and I am now just became aware of it and can now work on it. Sometimes I wonder mom telling me that was her way of trying to get me to become aware of it.


I still do this.

Me too! Because a) I don't want to embarrass myself more than that b) I feel superfluous being there c) the conversation bores me to death. However, I did embarrass myself a couple of times struggling with conversations, but only before I became aware of my ASD.



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21 Jun 2012, 4:03 pm

I freely admit that I am unlikely to stop. If I can't participate, hanging around won't do anyone any good.



Steven_Tyler77
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21 Jun 2012, 6:21 pm

I can talk people's ears off with my special interests. I also can engage in long conversations about other topics that are of at least interesting to a certain degree. I can provide talk therapy, since I'm trained for that, and I can run support groups or group therapy.

But I suck at small talk. I didn't even know that such thing as small talk existed up until a month ago or so, when my best friend told me she noticed I never engage in small talk. And I went like: "Huh? What is small talk?" I usually tend to turn any small talk into a huge debate or discussion on a certain topic. NTs have been annoyed at that...


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21 Jun 2012, 6:45 pm

I can only keep a conversation going with someone I really know very good, like my partner.
With other people I cannot and I always talk about the same topics with them, because I have an "inner library" about close people I know, like family, and I have pictures of example a car or a dog linked to a person, because they have a special car or a dog and then I can communicate from these images, but only to make them talk as I cannot keep a conversation going so easily, but with my partner (sharing SI's) I can talk a lot about the SI or in the past with someone sharing the SI, but I am actually quite mute to the outside world.,


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ogional
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21 Jun 2012, 7:46 pm

I can only make small talk. I really have no interests accept for anime which i just watch on and on after every episode. I can't hold a conversation or think of one up. I can't even talk about a certain topic or hold a topic. I don't even talk about the anime I watch. So I really can't have a conversation. I only reply to questions and answers and that is all I do to talk. I say more words online or by texting then I do in person that is the only way I can kind of keep a conversation going but its still small talk even in texting. With this paragraph I just wrote I will probably only say about 30 words in 4 hours and that is it...



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21 Jun 2012, 9:45 pm

I don't think I've ever had a constant back and forth conversation that lasted even ten minutes unless it was with someone I know well about a mutual interest.


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TalusJumper
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21 Jun 2012, 11:41 pm

OJani wrote:
Usually I find small-talk (chit-chat) difficult. With an average person it would be no more than 3 minutes (at the very best). If I know the person well and we have interests in common it can be much more than that. If I'm allowed to speak freely about my interests it can take hours in a row. When I'm with a group of people on an ASD meetup I can participate in the conversation but occasionally I would space out, relaxing my visual senses, in oder to preserve my ability to listen to them. With my closest friends I don't think I have any problem at all. Our communication styles are similarly off.

I'm diagnosed with PDD-NOS, and to be honest, I don't give a sh** for diagnostic labels on the spectrum. They are vague at best.


^This is me exactly; couldn't have written it better myself! :lol:


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