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Dear_one
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23 Apr 2020, 6:38 am

I'm just realizing that whenever I read descriptions of people doing things, I never imagine their emotions and the effect those may have. I've been thinking "calm but stupid" when "mild short circuit" is the better analogy.



Fern
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24 Apr 2020, 7:56 pm

I'm afraid that's a bit to general a statement to understand easily. Can you give an example?



Dear_one
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25 Apr 2020, 4:00 pm

When I read about people losing jobs or homes, I never imagine them being angry or sad unless prompted. Now that I've had some rest, I can barely relate to how upset I was over some problems yesterday.
My AS mother basically banned emotional displays at home, which probably got me started thinking that way.



BenderRodriguez
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25 Apr 2020, 4:26 pm

Dear_one wrote:
When I read about people losing jobs or homes, I never imagine them being angry or sad unless prompted. Now that I've had some rest, I can barely relate to how upset I was over some problems yesterday.
My AS mother basically banned emotional displays at home, which probably got me started thinking that way.


I can relate to this, I was always forbidden display of emotion of any kind as a child. Add the autism to it...

I don't think I have a lot of empathy (naturally) and I was very "remote" as a young man. I cultivated compassion through cross-referencing events in my own life (deep sadness, loss, grief) with others' situations and ended up being maybe a bit too sensitive in imagining their pain in my head - if that makes sense.

I don't need reminders anymore but I can still be very insensitive to first world problems.


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Dear_one
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25 Apr 2020, 5:57 pm

I spent years bouncing around various programs for adults from dysfunctional families before discovering AS as a factor. For a while, I had a checklist of various emotions to browse through to help identify how I felt. Apparently, many men need them to find themselves. Once, I learned to identify anger from my speedometer reading higher than usual.



BenderRodriguez
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26 Apr 2020, 5:49 am

Dear_one wrote:
I spent years bouncing around various programs for adults from dysfunctional families before discovering AS as a factor. For a while, I had a checklist of various emotions to browse through to help identify how I felt. Apparently, many men need them to find themselves. Once, I learned to identify anger from my speedometer reading higher than usual.


I've spent many years learning how to identify my own emotions too - even these days I sometimes need help or to at least take some time for introspection to figure out why I'm upset.

I'm pretty sure the mess-up childhood and teenage years are the main culprits in my case, with the ASD icing the cake as by the time I diagnosed I was already doing significantly better.


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