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ocdgirl123
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10 Dec 2016, 2:24 pm

NTs love eyes so much.

They yell and talk in grumpy tones of voices and say mean things and "she won't notice that I'm being a real jerk, my eyes are showing a expression". They need to learn there is more than one way to guess how someone is feeling. For me, eyes tell me nothing about the others state of mind. Zilch. Null. When I first heard about mind in the eyes, I thought it was a joke. People make expressions with their eyes? Lol. I've been told I am very emotionally expressive, but not with my eyes. Therefore, NTs always guess my emotion wrong.

Rant over.


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Jhob5
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10 Dec 2016, 7:27 pm

it feels as if people can talk with thier minds using thier eyes. except i cant lol.



ASPartOfMe
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11 Dec 2016, 2:35 am

Jhob5 wrote:
it feels as if people can talk with thier minds using thier eyes. except i cant lol.


It is not a matter of feeling, it is reality. Most people do use eye contact and have the ability to read what others are thinking via looking at the eyes of another person.Many autistics have less natural skills both in reading and using eye contact.

I find looking at eyes of other people quite uncomfortable. Other autistics find it physically painful, while others find it extremely invasive describing feeling that the other person is looking into their very soul.


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Marybird
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11 Dec 2016, 6:34 am

Eyes are very strange to me. I can't look directly at peoples eyes.
I never really knew I was supposed to look at peoples eyes except I was told to do that for job interviews but I would forget about it anyway.
If I make eye contact it's only for a split second and I automatically immediately look away.
People told me I was shy and timid because I didn't make eye contact.

I've tried looking at peoples eyes on TV and they looked blank and alien.
the first time I did that it gave me a nightmare. I dreamt I was sitting at a table across from a man and I looked up and his eyes were glowing. it frightened me and I immediately woke up.



Jhob5
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11 Dec 2016, 9:12 am

ASPartOfMe wrote:
Jhob5 wrote:
it feels as if people can talk with thier minds using thier eyes. except i cant lol.


It is not a matter of feeling, it is reality. Most people do use eye contact and have the ability to read what others are thinking via looking at the eyes of another person.Many autistics have less natural skills both in reading and using eye contact.

I find looking at eyes of other people quite uncomfortable. Other autistics find it physically painful, while others find it extremely invasive describing feeling that the other person is looking into their very soul.

It is very very very painful.



crystaltermination
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11 Dec 2016, 7:39 pm

When in a conversation with a stranger, which is actually more the role of being the sole focus of their attention as I listen to them talk to me, what gets me every time is just how much eye contact are you supposed to give? Can't express how much this has bothered me for my whole life. And I'm not getting better at it! For instance, how often are you meant to look away in a conversation or are you not meant to? In the past I've tried to examine how the other is using their own eye contact as they talk, but there's no escaping the fact it looks odd because then I am staring at them.


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green0star
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12 Dec 2016, 11:11 am

I never had anyone say anything about my eyes like that. Maybe its because I never look at anyone directly.



catalina
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12 Dec 2016, 11:54 am

im NT and avoid looking directly to the eyes (i look at the bridge of the nose or under the eyes so people will not notice) because im afraid about how people could react to my words. If i say something wrong, i rather realize it after I've said all i need to say, or I'll be anxious.
Eyes usually gives you the first hint of an emotion.



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12 Dec 2016, 4:18 pm

I too can't look directly into eyes but I haven't been able to pinpoint a trigger. Just thought it was part of autism. Doesn't seem to be a phobia though, I find eyes beautiful.


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ocdgirl123
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21 Dec 2016, 9:27 pm

catalina wrote:
im NT and avoid looking directly to the eyes (i look at the bridge of the nose or under the eyes so people will not notice) because im afraid about how people could react to my words. If i say something wrong, i rather realize it after I've said all i need to say, or I'll be anxious.
Eyes usually gives you the first hint of an emotion.


Again, my eyes are basically big black holes. Often, people are surprised by my emotional reaction because eyes dark, ugly eyes gave no hint of an emotion or a hint of a different one.


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lostonearth35
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21 Dec 2016, 11:19 pm

I'm a cartoonist and I've always had a huge obsession with drawing expressive eyes on characters even though I've always had problems making eye contact with real people. For years I've been annoyed by the beady lifeless eyes you usually see in newspaper comic characters. Some of them don't have eyes at all, like Beetle Bailey, and I get annoyed because I can't tell if they're angry, sad, happy, bored, worried, or dead, which is often the case with real people.

I love love LOVE the eyes on animals, they are nearly always adorable or beautiful. My older cat has especially big eyes and when it gets dark her pupils turn into two glossy big pools. :heart: :cat:



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21 Dec 2016, 11:47 pm

I love the various shapes, hues and intricacies of my fellow human being's sight goggles, I just have immense difficulty staring into them for very long!



Jhob5
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22 Dec 2016, 9:38 am

ASPartOfMe wrote:
Jhob5 wrote:
it feels as if people can talk with thier minds using thier eyes. except i cant lol.


It is not a matter of feeling, it is reality. Most people do use eye contact and have the ability to read what others are thinking via looking at the eyes of another person.Many autistics have less natural skills both in reading and using eye contact.

I find looking at eyes of other people quite uncomfortable. Other autistics find it physically painful, while others find it extremely invasive describing feeling that the other person is looking into their very soul.

Thats actually quite a scary thought. Its like people can plot against us pretty easily then. maybe thats why people with aspergers get bullied pretty easily?



Kiprobalhato
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22 Dec 2016, 9:50 am

from an evolutionary and structural perspective, eyes are fascinating organs.

with our ability to detect depth, shades of light and millions of colors, it's a marvel to see how far we've come from our invertebrate ancestors whose'eyes' were simple spots no more than a few cells big whose sole function was to detect light.

and what they are...are innervated balls of jelly with lenses. i can totally see why someone would be fascinated by them.


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22 Dec 2016, 12:26 pm

I actually do like them, I just find eye contact with people I don't know to be very difficult...and as a child I could never understand the concept of having to look at someone to be listening to them. I guess I still don't really get it, because I can pay attention just fine without looking and even if I try for the benefit of people who might think I'm not listening my eyes still tend to wander. It seems like a lot of people just get used to it though, sometimes people ask why I don't make much eye contact but a lot of times it seems they just come to accept it and never say anything about it.


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