Feeling emotionless & The Liveship Traders Trilogy

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RB
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

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12 Sep 2007, 11:01 pm

I've only just discovered Aspergers and I'm not sure if I have it or not yet, but I'm fairly convinced it explains a lot about my life. One of the strong similarities is I've often questioned whether I have emotions and can love.

I don't know if any of you have read the brilliant books The Farseers/Liveship Traders/The Tawny Man trilogies but I thought there was a fantastic example of a character in them I could relate to. Some spoilers in explaining.

In the middle series (the liveships) there was a pirate named Kennit, who, minus the evil pirating, reminded me almost *exactly* of myself in explaining what goes on in my head. He was very detached and calculating, and his whole life was a facade of learnt social cues so that he could be the kind of captain men would follow to their deaths, but behind closed doors he was very different. He was almost incapable of love. I don't think there has ever been a character who reminded me of myself so much in terms of what goes on in his head.

(Ending spoilers) At the end of the books, it is revealed something happened to Kennit as a child, something that a long time later I linked to the first series. In the first trilogy there was a group attacking a larger country and terrorising the population by attacking towns, and somehow releasing the people back minus their emotions. I realised later on that is what had happened to Kennit, his emotions had largly been taken from him by the same plot device.

I just find it very interesting that most of my life I've wondered whether I have emotions, then I connect with a character, then I realise later the author subtly explained how the character had had his emotions stolen from him.

The 5th comment here explains if I was a bit confusing: http://p092.ezboard.com/Kennit-at-the-e ... D=28.topic



kclark
Deinonychus
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13 Sep 2007, 9:05 am

I really love Robin Hobb's books. I started the Soldier's Son trilogy recently. It has been quite a while since I read the Liveship series.

I know that I have emotions as they tend to overwhelm me now and then. But other than when I am getting overwhelmed they seem to go into hiding waiting to ambush me at a later time. Most of the time I am at empty. So for me it is not a matter of not having emotion, but it being more of an all off or all on state. Either I am rather empty or indifferent emotionally or I am being drowned in it, carried away and not able to rationally do things.

I have always liked Data from Star Trek for a very similar reason. He has no emotions and reacts only logically, yet he is also interested and confused about people and how their emotions affect them. That is very much like me.



RB
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

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13 Sep 2007, 11:36 am

I saw very little of Star Trek but I definitly liked Data, though I could never pin why.

I know now I have emotions, though many times in the past I wondered if I did. Generally I could stay oddly void of grief at say funerals or when the family cat (the one that I was the closest to) had to get put down I was able to accept it and was able to stay calm, while my mum who hated the cat was in tears. I've often wondered if I truely love my family as well, and I've realised I do, just it's a very distant care and I have always been aware one day they will likely die off and I will go on. A very morbid thought that doesn't overwhelm me, and I always thought perhaps I don't love.

The character Kennit was a lot like that, he didn't understand what love was, there was a woman in love with him and he constantly kept suspecting her of treachery, and was not affected by what happened to others. That being said I'm not completely like him, I do have sympathy.