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mom2bax
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16 Oct 2007, 1:11 am

i saw somewhere the mention of some sexual issues that may come along with aspergers, but did not say what they were, just mentioned that i should get the book and read about them but since i can't do that right now and i figure real people's expereinces are usually a little more useful i would ask here.
my son has been diagnosed with aspergers and i am wondering what if anything i should be loooking for with that. he is still young(4) but i would like a heads up if i should be expecting anything.
i know he is a little boy and they explore themselves but he seems to play with his penis quite a bit, maybe "normal" behavior or is that part of it? Please also note that i am a single mom and may be unaware of natural male stuff like that.
thanks



Joel_Overbeck
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16 Oct 2007, 1:29 am

As long as he doesn't do it in public, I wouldn't bother much. His penis will be his best friend for the rest of his life.

Until it stops working, of course. Then it'll ruin his life.



MasonJar
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16 Oct 2007, 1:37 am

Joel_Overbeck wrote:
As long as he doesn't do it in public, I wouldn't bother much. His penis will be his best friend for the rest of his life.

I agree. My six-year-old Aspie son used to fondle himself quite often, right around the age your son is right now. We didn't make a big deal out of it and he gradually stopped doing it.
Except now my 22-month-old son has just discovered "down there", and he'll stick his hand down his diaper in public and walk around that way. But at that age it's kinda cute (that's what I'm telling myself anyway).



gwenevyn
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16 Oct 2007, 1:44 am

AS can affect one's sex life in a number of ways. Some people on this site have expressed feelings of asexuality, others have AS-related sensory issues that make sexual contact unpleasant, others are obsessed with sex. But most seem fine enough to me. I do not think that there are any issues that you need to be on the lookout for at this early age... and when he's old enough for these things to be possible concerns, I would guess that you will probably not be told about it.

The touching you describe is something that almost all children do, AS and NT alike. No worries! :)


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poopylungstuffing
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16 Oct 2007, 2:00 am

(embarrasing to talk about, but here it goes)

I sorta...(ahem) became obsessed with my nether regions at an unsually early age.....if that is what you mean

I am not sure what else to say. Maybe I will think of something later.



geek
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16 Oct 2007, 2:46 am

Based on my own observations, there are differences in aspie sexuality, but they're nothing you're going to encounter in a 4 year old boy. I wouldn't worry about getting that book for at least another 8 or 10 years.



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Tim_Tex
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16 Oct 2007, 5:54 am

I discovered myself down there at a very early age.

Tim


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2ukenkerl
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16 Oct 2007, 6:30 am

Well, I am unsure what some of you are talking about, but from what I have heard, and experienced myself(I'm male), here are some of the differences:

1. Able to have erections VERY early(Some told me this wasn't possible, but I could have them when I was 4 and probably earlier.)
2. Interested in Girls VERY early.(Again, supposedly not the norm)
3. Always being aware of where the glans is, and wanting it to be in a certain place. That I KNOW was something only I had trouble with.
4. Apparently I am better at controlling certain urges than most, and that includes sexual.

Frankly, I haven't heard anything odd about male aspie sexuality.



fivecents
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16 Oct 2007, 7:56 am

Open communication is important, especially for a bright young boy. A healthy attitude and upbringing will benifit both AS and NT. My friend's son is AS and doing quite well in this regard (he is 8). My AS bf is in his 50's and definitly has suffered from repressive parenting.

You can read a preview of this on Google Books.

Asperger's Syndrome and Sexuality: From Adolescence Through Adulthood By Isabelle Hâenault



ev8
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16 Oct 2007, 8:30 am

My mom tells me that once in a store at about 3 years of age I loudly proclaimed "Mommy, mommy, my penis is stiff!"



RB
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16 Oct 2007, 9:12 am

Slightly adult warning:

I developed a sexual fetish I still have today sometime before I turned 6. I also had crushes on girls since preschool. I've also realised about 2 years ago I went to stay with a friend who would have been between 4-7 years old at the time, and her mother for lack of a better way to put this gave me something akin to a hand job on a wooly mat, and later that night I got out of bed and was lying on that mat trying to recreate it in my mind. The realisation of that didn't come until recently so I don't know if I'm completely correct, but it would seem I felt the effect very early. As for "discovering" myself I was very late, a friend and his brothers used to laugh at me and call me shy/a liar when I said I honestly didn't masturbate in about grade 8 or 9, I didn't even know what it meant. I'm not even diagnosed with Aspergers for the record so don't take this as a definite description of what it's like.



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16 Oct 2007, 9:48 am

It's not just boys - I am female & I was able to have orgasms before I was 6 years old.

I remember the first one, but not how old I was - could have been anything between 3 & 6.



2ukenkerl
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16 Oct 2007, 10:57 am

shopaholic wrote:
It's not just boys - I am female & I was able to have orgsams before I was 6 years old.

I remember the first one, but not how old I was - could have been anything between 3 & 6.


Having an erectoin and an orgsam are two TOTALLY DIFFERENT things! And you CAN have one without the other.



richardbenson
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16 Oct 2007, 11:00 am

steve i keep thinking your like larry flint for some reason. do you have a wheelchair made out of 24k gold by any chance?


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16 Oct 2007, 11:11 am

I have to agree with everything regarding "don't be too worried". Social issues will most likely be a bigger...uh...issue. It sounds like there isn't anything too unusual regarding AS and sexuality.

2ukenkerl wrote:
1. Able to have erections VERY early(Some told me this wasn't possible, but I could have them when I was 4 and probably earlier.)


I'm not sure if I did or not at 4. I had them pretty young, but I don't know if it was unusual. I assume it wasn't.

Quote:
2. Interested in Girls VERY early.(Again, supposedly not the norm)


How early? I know I've been interested in girls since at least like first or second grade. I mean obviously that changed and matured, but I definitely had an interest in the opposite sex from at least then. I don't know if that's really unusual though. I think people tend to pretend children/young teenagers don't have that sort of thing when they do.

Quote:
RB wrote:
Slightly adult warning:
...As for "discovering" myself I was very late, a friend and his brothers used to laugh at me and call me shy/a liar when I said I honestly didn't masturbate in about grade 8 or 9, I didn't even know what it meant. I'm not even diagnosed with Aspergers for the record so don't take this as a definite description of what it's like.


Me too. I actually had NEVER masturbated before being with my (ex) fiancee. I had heard of it, and was in SEVERE...uh...discomfort...but I guess I never put two and two together. (I'm got a really high sex drive too...I just didn't "get" it I guess, and was often left tossing and turning for HOURS at night).