If group homes let you leave, then why are they so bad?

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MagicMeerkat
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23 Apr 2018, 2:25 pm

I was asking not too long ago about if group home let you leave if you didn't like them. Most people said they do. Well if that's the case then what is so bad about them? Most people talk about how being put in a group home is their worst fear. Well if they let you leave if you don't like it and they aren't prisons, then what's all then why is everyone so afraid of them?


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lostonearth35
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23 Apr 2018, 3:02 pm

When I was put in a group home when I was 21 and couldn't just leave because I had nowhere else to go. I had to live with around 10 other people, most of whom had chronic schizophrenia and were heavy smokers, which the staff encouraged because nicotine supposedly helps the symptoms. They were allowed to smoke indoors in a closed room, but smoke still gets everywhere and contaminates everything inside a house. I had to share my bedroom, which I especially hated. Germs run rampant when that many people live together and I would get a cold every other month. We all had to get up and go to bed early and do chores every day to keep the place clean, which was especially hard when other residents were total slobs. The first few weeks I was in the home I wasn't supposed to go anywhere without a staff, which I absolutely hated, and then when I was allowed to go out unsupervised I spent most of my time away from the home. If it wasn't the only place where I had a place to sleep and have a semi-decent cooked meal I would have never come back. The behavior of the severely mentally ill residents frightened and annoyed me. I did not feel I belonged in a place like this. The staff didn't think so either, but they thought that my own lack of coping skills, anger and anxiety issues were all learned behaviors. This was years before I was diagnosed with Asperger's, which had only just become recognized by the public around the time I was put in the home.

I still have reoccurring dreams that I'm suddenly back in the home with no memory of how or why I'm there, and all I want to do is leave and go back to my apartment, but it's either all locked up or someone else has already moved in.
In my last dream just I ran away with no way of knowing where I would stay and how I'd survive.



fifasy
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23 Apr 2018, 3:28 pm

It's complicated.

They are businesses or they are funded by government.

If they're businesses they will cut corners to make a profit. Not hire enough staff, not follow proper regulations.

If they're government funded they will be underfunded because people don't like paying high taxes.

Then you have the problem that predators are attracted to work in places like that because they have power over people easy to take advantage of.

Even if you can leave some abuse can have long lasting effects on people.



fifasy
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24 Apr 2018, 10:07 am

Is there something wrong magic meerkat?

Why are you thinking about care homes? If you need help please ask on here. There may be an easier answer to any problems you might have than you think.



League_Girl
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24 Apr 2018, 10:54 am

MagicMeerkat wrote:
I was asking not too long ago about if group home let you leave if you didn't like them. Most people said they do. Well if that's the case then what is so bad about them? Most people talk about how being put in a group home is their worst fear. Well if they let you leave if you don't like it and they aren't prisons, then what's all then why is everyone so afraid of them?



The ones I have seen never seemed bad at all and everyone seemed happy in them. My reason for not wanting to go to one is because I know there are structures imposed on your and routines and rules. I am a free thinker person and prefer to live my way and not be told what to do. I would imagine group homes would take away computer and video games because they would have time limits on them and want me to do something else. They might even have shower routines too like when you can take one and when it's time to come out. No thank you. This is my fear right here. I don't need to go to one at all thank god.


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MagicMeerkat
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24 Apr 2018, 11:41 am

fifasy wrote:
Is there something wrong magic meerkat?

Why are you thinking about care homes? If you need help please ask on here. There may be an easier answer to any problems you might have than you think.


My friend was going to go into one to get away from an abusive home, but it didn't work out because the place that was interested in taking him supposedly said they only tale people with a 70 IQ or later.


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Dear_one
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25 Apr 2018, 3:57 am

If you do want to leave, you will probably have lost the ability to find another place. Also, I have never heard of anyone in any care facility getting published, even if they have a lifetime of research to draw on. There needs to be more to life than fear of death.



Kitty4670
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26 Apr 2018, 1:38 am

lostonearth35 wrote:
When I was put in a group home when I was 21 and couldn't just leave because I had nowhere else to go. I had to live with around 10 other people, most of whom had chronic schizophrenia and were heavy smokers, which the staff encouraged because nicotine supposedly helps the symptoms. They were allowed to smoke indoors in a closed room, but smoke still gets everywhere and contaminates everything inside a house. I had to share my bedroom, which I especially hated. Germs run rampant when that many people live together and I would get a cold every other month. We all had to get up and go to bed early and do chores every day to keep the place clean, which was especially hard when other residents were total slobs. The first few weeks I was in the home I wasn't supposed to go anywhere without a staff, which I absolutely hated, and then when I was allowed to go out unsupervised I spent most of my time away from the home. If it wasn't the only place where I had a place to sleep and have a semi-decent cooked meal I would have never come back. The behavior of the severely mentally ill residents frightened and annoyed me. I did not feel I belonged in a place like this. The staff didn't think so either, but they thought that my own lack of coping skills, anger and anxiety issues were all learned behaviors. This was years before I was diagnosed with Asperger's, which had only just become recognized by the public around the time I was put in the home.

I still have reoccurring dreams that I'm suddenly back in the home with no memory of how or why I'm there, and all I want to do is leave and go back to my apartment, but it's either all locked up or someone else has already moved in.
In my last dream just I ran away with no way of knowing where I would stay and how I'd survive.


Sounds like a living nightmare. My mom wanted me to go to a group home, I lived in an apartment instead.



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26 Apr 2018, 4:58 pm

I would never go in a group home, I knew 2 people I grew up with that ended up in group homes. One chick got kicked out of many of them because of behavior and another one basically had them taking advantage of her to where they were taking all her money just about. I know for a fact she was probably getting a check, but with all her medical issues, what it "cost her to live there", her phone, groceries and other expenses, she really didn't have much money to herself. And yes, the home had the nerve to charge her and the others rent ... like I said, if you have any money, they will take your money and leave you with nothing