Random Butterflies and Alone at Resteraunts

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Clyde
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25 Sep 2010, 2:06 am

Two things jammed into one thread.

I wondered if anyone else has experienced this.

I could be off alone by myself, maybe at college or at home. I am not thinking about anything particular. Just reading a book, driving to school, or in class doing in class assignments. When I suddenly get the butterflies in my stomach sensation. The nervous sensation. I suddenly just get nervous for no other reason. Does anyone else experience this?

Second thing, I recently tried eating alone at a restaurant. They had an open buffet. I felt pretty nervous. First of all I felt like I didn't belong. Everyone else was eating with someone else, and here I was alone by myself. And I was getting really nervous and really stressed. I think I was even stuttering to the waiters. I felt nervous serving myself from the open buffet too. Like I wasn't getting any normal setting of food because well I felt nervous at the buffet table. Worse was that I didn't like looking at any of the people. Yet, I felt like I was being watched.
What should I do to avoid another disaster like this? Cause yeah that was an absolute disaster.



Chronos
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25 Sep 2010, 2:13 am

No, and no.

I would have absolutely no problem going into a restaurant and eating by myself. I don't see anything wrong with it.

Maybe you should see a doctor about the butterflies.



nostromo
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25 Sep 2010, 2:18 am

I have definitely had the same thing at restaurants when eating by myself when away on business. The only thing you can do is eat or observe whats going on in the restaurant, and I feel acutely aware that the rest of the people are with others and I'm alone and I start to feel disconnected from people and paranoid. Often because I am away from my family and in a strange place this is exacerbated. So now I take something to read and that diverts my mind and stops me thinking these weird thoughts.



tonin
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25 Sep 2010, 2:33 am

Yes and No

Yes, I sometimes get a funny feeling while on my own. It has served me well. At times, while travelling, it has prompted me to move seats, hostel, country and I find out later, usually on the news or in the paper, something bad happened at the time I should have been there, like a bombing, landslide, tourist food poisoning, room robbery, etc. Sometimes I look around and see some creepy person or a spider staring at me.

No, I loved going out on my own when younger - movies, cafes, theme parks, restaurants, bushwalking, snorkelling... Now I'm engaged I settle for the solitary coffee at the cafe while he's at work.



Lene
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25 Sep 2010, 7:21 am

About the restaurant; I used to be the same. The thing is, in reality nobody really is paying attention (unless their date is incredibly boring, in which case they probably envy you).

The way I got over it was just exposure and time; eventually it becomes easy. These days I can even look around the restaurant and sit back.

Bringing a book helps too.



Philologos
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25 Sep 2010, 9:12 am

I am not good with restaurants. I sit where I am less likely to be seen, try not to see anybody else, have a terrible time deciding what to eat. If I am alone, I can't decide wgich restaurant to tery and sometimes go hungry.

My first solo trip to Europe I went by sea. Somehow I did not get instructions on where and when to go in the dining hall. Not knowing the routine, I just stood outside - three days I didn't eat. People ask why I'm not going in, I don't answer or make up something. Eventually the staff noticed me and told me where to go, or I would have starved.

I would try cafeterias [format less stressful, less interaction] or do takeout - eat it in the car, in the park across the road, wherever.



sluice
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25 Sep 2010, 12:02 pm

I eat out by myself a good bit of the time. I sometimes become overly self-conscious and really don't know where I should be looking when I am like that. I end up glancing from place to place and probably come off as strange. One thing you can do is take something with you to read. It gives your mind something to focus on.

The other thing sounds like generalized anxiety. Your body will reflect your emotional state. Probably nervous about school or something. Comorbid anxiety is a very common problem with AS from what I've read. Get some exercise and use some sort of reaffirmation to tell yourself that there is nothing to be anxious about.



Clyde
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25 Sep 2010, 12:22 pm

Sluice, that's how I feel all the time. I just don't know where to look, how to look. I always take my food out to go. I never ever eat inside the restaurant. I take my drinks to go, I take everything to go. Because either I can't decide what to get or at the buffet table I am more conscious about the other people eating. What will they say if I take this much? [mind you it would only be a full scoop of soup...which I know is ret*d to think that is to much, but for some reasons buffet change the way I think]

I like to be alone. Just not in crowds. If I'm alone in crowds I begin to pace, feel anxious, and do things that are not natural. Such as in book stores I begin to talk my thoughts out loud.

I just don't know where to begin with myself. I feel safer in my little bear den.



pumibel
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25 Sep 2010, 12:33 pm

I have had the "random butterflies" and could not determine what might have set them off. It is anxiety maybe- but why? I don't get that very often though. I usually know why I am feeling anxious if I get that feeling. I don't have a lot of anxiety in general, though. I would talk to your doctor about it next time you go. Especially if you have the feeling that your heart is beating harder- you never know what might be causing that. It could be medication related- do you take anything that affects dopamine?

I also do not feel comfortable eating alone at restaurants unless they are empty or very few people are there at the time. I have always been like that. I would take my food to go and eat in my car or at a park or something if the place is crowded.



Clyde
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25 Sep 2010, 12:51 pm

No I'm not taking any medicine. It just feels like a random panic attack for no other reason.

I too eat by myself, to go outside. In a car. Or somewhere with fewer people.