I always took pride in being called a weirdo or insane because that seemed more positive than being thought ret*d. Everyone at least subconsciously knows that insanity/weirdness can be a synonymus with genius, right?
I always stood out as different, so I got too much attention and sought ways so reduce and control said attention. I coped by not speaking unless I had something intelligent, useful, or bizarre to say.
I also considered "weird" positive because I watched a lot of Muppet Babies, and Gonzo was my personal hero, even moreso than Soundwave for a time.
Also, people can derisively laugh at a ret*d, but not at someone whose behaviour is so incomprehensible that it disturbs them. So while I was considered something of a comedian in school, it was always more gratifying to do something that confused other students rather than making them laugh. In senior-year drama class, although I was told mine was genuinely one of the funniest stand-up-comedy routines, the moment when I made the whole room wince in unison because they couldn't tell what I was doing to my sheep puppet gave me a bit more joy than my friends' laughter.
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No one in the world ever gets what they want,
and that is beautiful.
Everybody dies frustrated and sad,
and that is beautiful.
-TMBG