New to working with asperger's, what do I need to know?

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curiousman
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06 Nov 2012, 11:00 am

I have started working with people with Asperger's. I don't have a lot of experience. What pieces of advice or knowledge do you think are important for someone that is working with people with Asperger's should know?



kBillingsley
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06 Nov 2012, 11:18 am

What is the nature of the work? A few general tips would be: do not get overly excited around us, do speak the literal meaning of whatever idea you are trying to convey (metaphors and idioms are frequently wasted on us), do not make any physical contact without express permission, do not try to interfere with stimming behaviors, do not try to force eye contact. There are some more, but I am sure my fellow WP members will fill in for that. Good luck, and thank you for extending your hand to us.



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06 Nov 2012, 11:56 am

Wow, I would love to see more professionals reaching out to the community to ask how we would like to be treated - kudos to you for posting here, with the kind of respect that demonstrates I don't think you'll have any problems. :)

As the poster above said, it would help to know if you were working with them in an educational setting, or theraputic, or something else. People with AS tend to be easily overstimulated (by lots of noise, people, lights etc) which will cause them to shut down or get upset, so working with them in a quiet environment would be very beneficial, especially if what you are doing requires them to concentrate. Be aware that we usually have trouble making eye contact, because if we're meeting someone's eyes that makes us unable to concentrate on the conversation, so not making eye contact doesn't mean we aren't enjoying the conversation or paying attention. This is something that often makes neurotypical people uncomfortable so it would really help if you're able to accept it as normal. If you want to establish a good relationship with someone with AS, it would help to begin by asking them to tell you about themselves and the things they are interested in and demonstrate a willingness to listen, as AS people tend to have very strong interests that they love to talk about, but not many people are interested in listening to! So they are appreciative of someone who appreciates that and sees it as something positive. AS people also tend to be intelligent but socially awkward and seen as naive because we aren't able to read between the lines in social situations or because we take things too literally.

Tony Attwood's book about Asperger's Syndrome is generally regarded to be the best (both for people with and people working with AS people) and would give you fantastic depth of understanding of the subject if you can get hold of it.



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06 Nov 2012, 1:53 pm

a big thanx to curiousman for wanting to work with us. just remember, let us approach you. we'll let you know when we're ready for something more! :wink: you'll see how awesome we are soon enough.


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lelia
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06 Nov 2012, 2:26 pm

Yes to the above advice. You can also look into books published by Jessica Kingsley Press.



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06 Nov 2012, 2:27 pm

Anxiety and depression are very common

symptoms can get worse with the mood

feelings of aspies are different and it can be difficult to tell about them

aspie think a hell lot and can get stuck into something that is not resolvable

If you want to understand then try to figure out the feelings. Focus on the person and do not trust too much definitions or descriptions

Every aspie is different



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06 Nov 2012, 5:30 pm

Don't bring up their pasts, because a lot of us have had very painful childhoods and teen years.


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06 Nov 2012, 5:58 pm

Please don't assume that because they have Aspergers, they have certain issues. We're not all the same. If the person allows you, ask what problems they have. For example, do they need you to say "at 12pm, we're going to have lunch. At 1pm, we're going shopping" and so on.

If they do have a meltdown, (which can be due to things like hypersensitivity) just leave them. But ensure they're safe.



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06 Nov 2012, 6:54 pm

Simmian7 wrote:
a big thanx to curiousman for wanting to work with us. just remember, let us approach you. we'll let you know when we're ready for something more! :wink: you'll see how awesome we are soon enough.


I agree thanks for asking.

The pointers I can give

Routine is important, and may not be a literal schedule but how things are done or why they are done.

Do not interrupt meltdowns if possible, just make sure there is no harm done.

Limit background noise and don't use super bright bulbs, that one is always a killer for me!

Remember it is a spectrum and we are all different ^,^



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06 Nov 2012, 7:08 pm

Respecting them, seeing them as an equal, goes a long way, because that means you care more about what they think and what they feel. People--not just Aspies--like to know that you care about what they think and believe that their ideas, experiences, and opinions are important.

The number-one thing with autistics in general: Autism makes it harder to communicate, but not just for us. It makes it harder for those around us, too, because we don't speak their "language", and they don't speak ours. You have to be really sure that the person you're talking to understands what you mean, beyond just having heard the words--understands what you meant when you said what you said. I don't know if you'll encounter this problem so much with Asperger's, but some of us will have the tendency to just give formulaic responses when a conversation goes too fast, just following the patterns, and real communication fades away. Make sure that you're understanding them and they are understanding you, and make it clear that you want to know when they aren't getting something, or when they see you aren't getting something. Try to be as literal as possible. Some of us have an easier time of it than others. You'll get the hang of it--you'll probably embarrass yourself and your clients will probably mess up, too, but that's part of learning a new language and nothing to be ashamed of.

Once you have communication clear, other things tend to be easier. You may discover that NTs and autistics actually have much more in common with each other than not. The differences are there, and should be acknowledged, but there's much more that's the same. Just like anybody, autistics want to be part of their communities, be treated with respect, do meaningful work, exercise their talents, explore their ideas, have fun, and connect with other living creatures--at their own speed. Autistic people are different, sure, but we're human, however much we might joke about being aliens. :)


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physicsnut42
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06 Nov 2012, 7:34 pm

Callista wrote:
Respecting them, seeing them as an equal, goes a long way, because that means you care more about what they think and what they feel. People--not just Aspies--like to know that you care about what they think and believe that their ideas, experiences, and opinions are important.


This. Definitely this.


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06 Nov 2012, 9:59 pm

Make sure you don't overload them with tasks, too many things at once can scramble their brains and make them panic. Verbal instructions are often confusing, graphic or pictorial instructions make things easier. Make things clear as to what order they need doing in, lists are good for following, showing what is most important/urgent etc. and what can wait.

Ask what is stressful for them, and try to make adjustments accordingly.

Don't assume they aren't listening to you if they are not making eye contact.

Ask if they need help, they won't always ask even if they do need it.

Remember sensory issues especially. Light, noise, chaos, lots of people, sensitive skin, sensitivity to temperature.

Don't assume if they are quietly on the periphery that they are unhappy, don't assume they need or want to "join in" with others.


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06 Nov 2012, 11:27 pm

Hmm. Interesting thread.

I don't have much to add. Just be direct in your statements and questions. This is usually the hangup I run into with others at work. Steer clear of irony, sarcasm, body language statement modifiers. Try not to take offense if the people you work with tend to be a little standoffish towards you. Chit-chat is not our forte so we often tend to cut conversations short. It isn't meant to be insulting although i know it often can be perceived that way.

AS is a developmental disorder and most of us have a lot of experience interacting with NT's by the time adulthood is achieved, so it`s usually not necessary to make changes to your usual social behaviour.



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07 Nov 2012, 1:10 am

I also think it's really nice of you to come and ask autistic and (autstoid people) what we would want you to do if you were working with us. As other people have said , be direct and as literal as possible, don't overload the client with multiple tasks at once......one thing at a time, give advance notice when client will be switching to another activity and don't have them switch too often (bcs some of us have problems with transitions), have a clear schedule because some of us like routines, and be aware of sensory issues. I will say more about the last one- don't unexpectedly touch the person (to get their attention or as a social touch while talking to them) or make any sudden loud noises bcs some of us are easily started and distracted by such things. Also ask what each person's specific sensory issues are. Some of us have peculiar idiosyncratic ones that you probably wouldn't think about....like I really hate the smell of cold cuts (lunch meats)- they have some kind of preservative in them that has a certain smell. When I smell this I feel sick and am extremely distracted by it (I get off buses and wait for a new one to come if someone on the bus has lunch meat and I can smell it). Also I'm sensitive to only certain kind of noises like high pitched screechy ones. So your clients might have their own. Just generally avoid things most people would find a little distracting though like flickering lights and loud noises...they might bother your clients more than most people.



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07 Nov 2012, 1:59 am

I agree with most of the people here; thanks for taking the time to find out about us, we need more people like you around :D As most have already said, make sure your meeting space is quiet and not too brightly lit, perhaps have lots of small lights rather than one big one so you can adjust the lighting as necessary. Most said don't touch them at all, but some of us really like firm touch by someone we care about, so ask how they feel about it, and once you've developed a rapport, that could be an effective way of showing friendship or acknowledging feelings, etc. Don't be put off by odd body language like stimming, it may look weird, but its harmless and can help us feel more secure in strange situations, this can include anything from small stuff like toe tapping to obvious atypical movement like hand flapping and full body rocking, it will generally dissipate as the person you're working with gets more comfortable with you. Also, one thing no one has yet mentioned, if your job requires that you contact them outside of your scheduled meeting times, it's generally best that you use text or email, as a lot of us are very uncomfortable making and receiving phone calls. A little long, sorry, but we don't get people asking us how we like to be treated often, so I thought I'd take advantage :) Good luck with your clients, you'll do great.


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shyengineer
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07 Nov 2012, 8:23 am

I think it boils down to respect and good communication. We're not idiots, just a bit different. Find out what they need because it can be a variety of things.

I think it really tests people's organisational ability and communication skills to work with me :D . I need a routine, proper notice and tasks clearly communicated to me. I can't work with vague and disorganised people.

To help with social difficulties, stick to work talk and use email if you can.

Be concious of overwhelming the person - you'll have to find out what this is for them.

In other words, just be kind, respectful and aware.