How good are you at picking ulterior motives?

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I think I'm pretty good at figuring it out in cases where you can use logic to figure it out. I pick up on it when people say things that don't add up, and then I become suspicious and can figure out the deception. I think I'm possibly better at that than the average person.

But I'm very bad at seeing it when people do catty things for no real reason, other than just to amuse themselves at your expense or to make trouble. In that case, there is no logic to what they're doing, so it's very mysterious to me and I don't pick up on it.

My problem is that I try to use body language as my main indicator of intent. Adults are very good at keeping their faces from showing their true feelings... Unfortunately, this can backfire. If someone is trying to use 'social politeness' and I respond to their body language they get mad at me for not doing the right thing. It gets bad when someone doesn't like me, and I can see that by the way they are standing.

It's a body language thing. Emotions are mostly in the face, and lying is mostly in the body. The problem with facial features is that people learn from childhood how to control the way their faces look. Not so much with their bodies... If you have the time (and opportunity without freaking anyone out) take a look at people talking. How they sit is more indicative of how they are really feeling than how their faces look.

wait, you mean people can have ulterior motives?? O_O
*world comes crashing down*

I am often horribly good at it about people relating to other people, but tend to get hopelessly confused when it's someone doing it in relation to me.

I have surprised people by the accuracy of my dissection of someone else's hidden motivations/purposes, but also by how unable I am to see it when it's me involved. And i only notice after i have got in a real muddle and tangle and somehow the other person often comes out seeming like the reasonable one because i'll have lost my rag, or got tearful, or resorted to "childish" avoidance strategies in order to cope.

And sometimes I think it does look like paranoia/over-sensitivity, and that is really difficult to deal with. I am so afraid of being mistaken, and "imagining" things. ( which i have been accused of) .

( Small digression on subject of not being believed: i heard an animal running around/thumping about on the floorboards in the attic the other night, and was way too alarmed to look myself. When i told the papa of my son, in the same room at the time, he thought i was imagining things, he had heard nothing, but it turned out i was right; two cats had got in through the open skylight and were chasing each other up there. He admitted to not having believed me. I admitted to almost not having believed myself, despite clearly hearing the soft thumps, because i have got so used to being told that i'm imagining things).

I"m exactly the same way; I can pick out when someone is lying, unless it's me being lied to.

I'm with Specter on this one. This is a consious decision on my part. I am absolutely clueless as to peoples motivation, and prefer to give others the benifit of the doubt. This applies in either good or bad scenarios. My wife will tell me so and so really likes me, and I'll be suprised. I am frequently amazed at how much time others spend thinking and talking about me, as I spend so little time trying to read into them anything beyond what they actually tell me.

I just frequently forget that people can lie :S

the only person you will ever fully trust in life is yourself

I can lie if I really put my mind to it, but it's exhausting. And it bugs me later... in a big way. I think that some people don't see the difference between lies and the truth, sometimes. There seems to be this big grey area of 'what's best for me and how to get it'. I just try and assume that everyone is doing their best, and continue on with that assumption until proven otherwise.

I can't lie :S not knowingly anyway. It's one of my many "rules"

I'd have to disagree with you on this Kliodimus. For one I have always sensed that I am emotionally impaired, therefore I don't trust my own emotions. Further, if I don't trust my own why would I trust anyone elses? I have been refered to as "Spock" behind my back. I tend to make a distinct division between "thinking" and "feeling".

in my head, thinking and feeling are the same thing.

I don't think I'm impaired in any way, but I do know that what I tend to feel is 'simpler'. I don't ever have ulterior motives for what I do, and that can make me seem a bit childlike. I've tried to adopt a compassionate outlook. It makes dealing with other people less difficult. I like working with kids. They usually work the same way, and the ones who are in any way compassionate themselves appreciate it.

aren't we all? :P

Which 'we' are you referring to? 'We' as in people in general, or 'we' as in anyone on the spectrum?