Sitting outside - in a public place - do you struggle?

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harry12345
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02 Sep 2017, 3:38 pm

Does anyone else find it hard to sit down in public places?

I find it really hard to sit and be still (or stand for that matter) for any length of time where I might be seen by other people walking past.

I see people sitting in the park, or on a beach, or some random place along a public footpath (bridleway) and wonder how they do it. Fancy a picnic - they just plonk the blanket down in the middle of a field and get the food and drinks out.

I'd even find it hard to sit out in the garden at home for fear of been seen by the neighbours.



Joe90
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02 Sep 2017, 4:34 pm

I find sitting better than standing, because when I sit I feel I can relax, but when I'm standing I feel self-conscious about the way I'm standing and I don't always know where to put my hands. I tend to stand stock still, because I'm afraid that if I move I might look nervous or something.

So sitting in public is more comfortable for me than standing. When I'm at the bus stop and old people start approaching, I feel anxious because than means I'll feel obliged to give up my seat. Don't get me wrong, I love old people, but I find sitting eases my social anxiety. But I begin to feel more uncomfortable when there are old people standing about and I'm the one sitting. So it's an awkward situation.


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02 Sep 2017, 4:58 pm

I am much happier standing or sitting on the ground in public than sitting on a chair, bench, etc, because I feel more free to move around. If I'm standing and someone gets too close to me, I can surreptitiously move a little bit away, while it would be more obvious if someone sat next to me and I moved. Sitting on the ground, I feel like it's more acceptable to sit in my preferred position, with my knees pulled up to my chest, which makes me more comfortable. I guess I feel sort of trapped if I'm sitting in a chair or something.


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IgA
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03 Sep 2017, 7:42 am

I don't understand the reason for sitting in a public place. If it has no function I don't do it. I would only sit on a park bench if too tired or hurting for some reason & couldn't keep walking to my destination.



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03 Sep 2017, 7:50 am

Well I mean I wouldn't do it without reason, like if I arrived far too early for an appointment (more than likely). Can never really settle anywhere but home but I am OK with it just as long as no one wants to talk to me


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Chichikov
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03 Sep 2017, 7:56 am

I also struggle to s**t outside in public.

Edit: sorry, I misread the title



Voxish
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03 Sep 2017, 8:01 am

Chichikov wrote:
I also struggle to s**t outside in public.

Edit: sorry, I misread the title


mmmmmm, are you sure?


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03 Sep 2017, 8:57 am

Re: picnics

I like being with people, but fighting the flies is a pain in the neck. Flies gross me out more than any other bug. I know where they walk and it just grosses me out.

There is no way I could have been outside in the heat yesterday. I would have fainted from the heat.



harry12345
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03 Sep 2017, 10:17 am

Voxish wrote:
Chichikov wrote:
I also struggle to s**t outside in public.

Edit: sorry, I misread the title


mmmmmm, are you sure?


Either way, it made me go and double check the spelling....... 8O :wink:



Goth Fairy
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04 Sep 2017, 1:07 am

It has never even occured me to me to be worried about it. In my own head I'm invisisble, I don't expect other people to notice me at all. Big lack of ToM.


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04 Sep 2017, 3:59 am

Not really... I mean there are certain places that I don't want to stop at at certain times (or even pass by, really) because of the people who might be there at that time, but other than that I have no problem with sitting or standing in public places, especially when I have a clear reason to do so. I don't feel so uncomfortable with just being still doing nothing if I'm waiting for something or someone, because if someone asks what I'm doing I have a clear answer ready. However, I haven't been comfortable with eating in public places for years... not sure when it started, but it must be because people kept making fun of the way I eat. Some still do, but now I'm pretty much used to it.



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04 Sep 2017, 5:02 am

I don't find the sitting in public places business that much of a big deal - it's pretty anonymous and people neither know nor care who I am, and probably don't even notice me. I can relate much more to the OP's issue with being seen by the neighbours in his garden: I don't even like to go out of my front door if the neighbours are around. Same with coming back to my house if they're in their garden or just getting out of their car.



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04 Sep 2017, 5:27 am

yes, but only with a lot of people/noise/loud conversation/no way of escaping/no place to escape to.



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04 Sep 2017, 12:07 pm

I actually enjoy sitting outside and watching people go by. Sometimes, I do get anxious that someone will try to converse with me and I won't know how to react, but most of the time, I find sitting somewhere and observing quite enjoyable.


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04 Sep 2017, 3:26 pm

I struggle sitting anywhere there is a lot of people. I can manage in the park if it's big enough where I can be away from the side walk or playground.

I hate sitting in public places, I get anxious thinking someone is looking at me, thinking someone might talk to me(as I usually don't know what to say in conversations.), and I be self-conscious about my appearance.

Only time I like sitting in a place is if it's almost empty, if not then anxiety kicks in. I sometimes want to rock or shake my leg but I know that would just bring attention to myself.


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04 Sep 2017, 4:24 pm

How well I deal with this situation depends entirely on whether or not I'm alone, mostly. I feel extremely, hyper self-conscious when outside, but company really helps reduce my internal panicking and I tend to enjoy myself better.
Last Christmas there was a bad incident where my parents and I had stopped to have a drink in our favourite cafe after doing some last minute shopping; being Xmas season the place was packed and we were lucky to get a table. They told me to save the table by sitting at it while they got the drinks (I actually think this is quite unfair for those already waiting in the queues without seats saved!) and waiting there I just zonked out. I'm not usually overwhelmed so completely but there was something about the loud conversation surrounding me that made me really panic and close down. It almost feels like being underwater. I get completely taken off guard by all the noise and bustle of public places.


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