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have you ever been picked on or abused by a sibling/siblings?
yes 53%  53%  [ 28 ]
no 34%  34%  [ 18 ]
sibling(s), and relatives 13%  13%  [ 7 ]
Total votes : 53

arkityp
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27 Jul 2008, 5:43 pm

how many of you have siblings who abuse you simply because they assume you can't/won't fight back?

i just got home from a relaxing weekend at the cottage. life is different there; i stick out even more and it results in people staring, or, in the case of this weekend: my sister apologizing to everyone that i'm "a weirdo". not to mention pulling my hair, hitting/shoving me, and other abusive/bullying things that she knows i don't enjoy and/or are triggers.

yesterday, i hit her back.

i think it's difficult enough for us to integrate to a point where we feel comfortable interacting minimally with society. we don't need to have our weaknesses pointed out, we don't enjoy it any more than a neurotypical would. so, why do they continuously lack tact and understanding?

we are prone to inappropriate behaviour but that is a part of autism and realistically, we don't know when we're being rude or inappropriate, whereas NTs seem to do it in the interest of making themselves feel more secure and superior.



corroonb
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27 Jul 2008, 5:54 pm

I would say no. We have fights on occasion but I can give as good as I get. We are reasonably close and I like both of my brothers who are clever and modest like me. ;)

We're all university educated and my older brother is a manager in the finance department of a major UK/Ireland bank at 27 and he owns a car (bigger deal here) and his own home. I'm proud of them and they respect me and my abilities.

I'm sorry things are hard for you but some people are just unpleasant regardless of neurology.



sebbs
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27 Jul 2008, 6:00 pm

arkityp wrote:
how many of you have siblings who abuse you simply because they assume you can't/won't fight back?

i just got home from a relaxing weekend at the cottage. life is different there; i stick out even more and it results in people staring, or, in the case of this weekend: my sister apologizing to everyone that i'm "a weirdo". not to mention pulling my hair, hitting/shoving me, and other abusive/bullying things that she knows i don't enjoy and/or are triggers.

yesterday, i hit her back.

i think it's difficult enough for us to integrate to a point where we feel comfortable interacting minimally with society. we don't need to have our weaknesses pointed out, we don't enjoy it any more than a neurotypical would. so, why do they continuously lack tact and understanding?

we are prone to inappropriate behaviour but that is a part of autism and realistically, we don't know when we're being rude or inappropriate, whereas NTs seem to do it in the interest of making themselves feel more secure and superior.


my brother has like 15+ years of martial arts training and is 10 years older then me.
when i was a kid i tried to fight him, but alas.

oh btw, what you said is BS btw.
there are not NTs who do things to blabla, we are all people who are the same, but in a different way, you should start looking at people as people and not lables.
thats just messed up, we are not computers you know.
but if we would i would have been a amiga i think. or something like that, maybe a nintendo 8bit,
or perhaps tux, yeah tux i would been tux, cos he runs on almost all platforms.
as do i, whatever that means.


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Last edited by sebbs on 27 Jul 2008, 6:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

PinkieOfDoom
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27 Jul 2008, 6:02 pm

My brother does it all the time, but because he is physically stronger than I am and can do it. But it's never to cause harm, it's how we bond, despite the fact that I'm the one getting my ass kicked in the end. It's still funny. But he's like that with everyone. In fact, he's the only one that has ever really been in a fight with me. Most guys my age think I can kick their ass (because of my size) but I'm not a fighter.



arkityp
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27 Jul 2008, 6:11 pm

sebbs wrote:
oh btw, what you said is BS btw.
there are not NTs who do things to blabla, we are all people who are the same, but in a different way, you should start looking at people as people and not lables.


i think you should keep in mind that we can only go on experience and intelligence, not intuitiveness. i have no way of "looking at people as people" because i don't understand them in the first place. i am only going on what a mass society has presented me with - which is logical evidence - that, neurotypicals pick on me.



arkityp
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27 Jul 2008, 6:35 pm

oh, and i think i should add that if NTs were like computers, we would get along a lot better! :lol:



KingdomOfRats
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27 Jul 2008, 6:36 pm

am was abused by sister,but she always got off a lot worse than am in damage-am have no pain threshold so her physical abuse meant nothing but tearing horse pictures off the wall that had been up there in same position for years was instant self injury and MD setoffs.
she was nasty to am because she saw am as a burden on her and family,even though have gone through a lot of bad stuff with her,she now acts as an advocate for am and mostly cares.
her nastiness wasnt an NT to autist thing,as she is on the spectrum herself [aspie,chosen not to get diagnosed].


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corroonb
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27 Jul 2008, 6:38 pm

NTs tend to do things for emotional reasons but they can be reasoned with if you don't make them feel inadequate, jealous or stupid.



27 Jul 2008, 8:15 pm

Lot of siblings abuse and pick on each other. I picked on my younger brother because he made me mad. I also teased my other brother because his whining got on my nerves. I also got back at them when they touch my stuff because they messed it up or when they ruin my play time by touching things I made and wrecking it. But they didn't pick on me because I was older than them but my brother picked on his younger brother as he got older. Then he stopped.


My mother was abused by her older sister because she was real mean to her but my mother still tried to be civil with her. It was because she was real jealous of her and the fact she got held back three times in elementary school so she was treated like she was my mother's age instead of the fact she is three years older than her. And it was also because my mother hit puberty before her, she even got her period too before her. My aunt is not an NT.



27 Jul 2008, 8:19 pm

arkityp wrote:
sebbs wrote:
oh btw, what you said is BS btw.
there are not NTs who do things to blabla, we are all people who are the same, but in a different way, you should start looking at people as people and not lables.


i think you should keep in mind that we can only go on experience and intelligence, not intuitiveness. i have no way of "looking at people as people" because i don't understand them in the first place. i am only going on what a mass society has presented me with - which is logical evidence - that, neurotypicals pick on me.




Hey some aspies have picked on me, in fact I was picked on by a kid in my neighborhood and he might have been an aspie. i am sorry but some people here (including me) get sick and tired of the NT bashing acting like we don't do this and we don't do that. Bullying happens in all kinds, even us.



arkityp
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27 Jul 2008, 8:28 pm

Spokane_Girl wrote:
i am sorry but some people here (including me) get sick and tired of the NT bashing acting like we don't do this and we don't do that. Bullying happens in all kinds, even us.


wow ok, what i said was severely taken out of context. peas out WP. apparently i can't communicate with anyone.



corroonb
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27 Jul 2008, 8:32 pm

I was a bully when I was younger (circa. 1993) and I was a mean, foul-mouthed little brat at times. No longer do I derive pleasure from teasing.



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27 Jul 2008, 8:35 pm

My older sister used to beat me up all the time. I remember one time she was home sick and insisted I go to the store and get her some ginger ale to settle her stomach. I said I couldn't and she started beating me up. I remeber defending myself with my feet, kicking (I was about 8; she was about 9 and much bigger boned and hearview). So recently, she told me how her dentist had fixed a broken front tooth that I caused that day. I didn't even know I did it. I was defending myself from one of her attacks. She never even mentioned that she was beating me up at the time! She's a sociopath.

She haa two children with two different fathers, one a migrant worker she never saw again and the other just out of jail for rape and a drug addict. She abused the two children as they grew up. It's only lately that I have been able to help them now that they are adults. I bought a house for them to live in. They help with half the mortgage, but they are seriously mentally damaged probably from the genetics of her and the one who's the son of the drug addict/rapist of course is sicker and of course from her abuse which got worse and worse over the years. They'll never be right. They don't talk to her of course. She's the nightmare of my life. I saw her sexually abused as a child. But I think what made her mentally ill was that my father spoiled her, so she became self-indulgent and expects everyone to wait on her and gets mad if they don't.


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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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27 Jul 2008, 11:52 pm

I am an only child so I don't really have much experience with this, can only speak through the proverbial window with my face pressed against the glass looking inside...observing.

I think it's a shame when siblings don't get along, fight with one another, hate one another and generally cause each other misery and unnecessary grief and anguish.

I often wished I had a sister but only one who was nice to me and was a good friend as well as a sister. I definitely don't want one of the mean sisters who would just cause me a lot of anguish.

I grew up with a friend I guess you could say was "sisterlike" but it was one of the bad sister relationships with resentment and fighting, back stabbing, and lots of animosity. That relationship I could have done without.



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28 Jul 2008, 9:25 am

i was the abuser! i almost drowned my little sis in the bath tube. i was 6 though...



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28 Jul 2008, 10:20 am

I was bullied, teased and ridiculed by my (assumably NT) younger sister.. I talk about it in the other sibling thread...I did occasionally sorta fight back, but that did not help with any sort of reconciliation...To this day, we have no sort of bond between us whatsoever. She is like a stranger with the same parents.