Page 1 of 1 [ 13 posts ] 

goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,490
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

07 Oct 2018, 12:58 pm

It does solve some, I'll give you that, but it doesn't solve our social problems.

I was chatting with one of my bosses who knows an older relative of mine. He described my Uncle's behaviours that.. were in contravention of socially acceptable norms.. and also my relative's complaints about his lack of social life and so on. Naturally, I feel bad for him, because like most undiagnosed middle aged+ Aspies, he's gone his whole life not knowing why he can't seem to make connections with other people. I do remember having a brief conversation with him a couple of years ago and telling him that it's HFA that runs in our entire family, so if he remembers that he may have an idea as to his diagnosis - but chances are he's read and learned zilch about it, so is still just existing as he always has, not even knowing the source of his frustrations.

Even though my Uncle has never made big $, I'm aware that he has money, especially if the hearsay from my Aunt is true. And it makes sense. He's worked for ~30 years or so and in that time he's bought 2 pickup trucks (cheap ones, back in the late '80's.), a Honda Fit a couple years go, a couple of TV's/stereos (not too pricey) and that's about it besides blue jeans & white t-shirts. His cost of living has been very inexpensive. He's never gone on vacation anywhere, ever. Etc. (No wife/kids/dependants besides a few cats over the years.) I believe the hearsay that his Net Worth exceeds $2M - which will buy him a small condo in the neighbourhood he wants to retire in, and allow him to live a simple life for the rest of his days when he decides to pack in the tools. Yet, is he happy? No, in general, probably not. He still can't make social connections or have the types of normal interactions with people he'd like to. (Typing this makes me feel like I should go visit him and my other Uncle, his older brother, sometime soon. I haven't specifically gone to visit him, ever, and haven't been to the house since my Grandmother's passing in April.)

Annnyyways, family dynamics aside, my point is that for those who think that they'd be so much better off with more money, it simply isn't true. Even with a couple Million in assets, if you can't make or maintain social connections, you're not going to be any happier. This is why, IMO, it's far more important to focus on our health & being our best and healthiest selves, able to function as highly as possible, in order to live truly richer, better, lives filled with connections to other people, friendships, relationships if that's your thing etc vs. striving to fill our bank accounts in lieu of having a social life thinking that somehow, magically, more money will make us happier. Sure, you won't lack for essentials like shelter, food, or medicine.. but none of those things feed your soul or truly make you happier.

By whatever means, whether some form of therapy, treatment via diet etc as I do for myself, forcing yourself to learn to socialize better etc, IMO, even if your bank account is empty, you'll live a fuller, happier, life by doing these things and feeling interconnected to others. (At least he's spent some money on charity/sponsoring children overseas - I think that's brought him some happiness; making a difference in others' lives.)

Just thought I'd put this out there for those who feel that career/finances are the one and only thing they ought to focus their efforts on. Or for those with no money who feel they'd be happier with a lot of money. Money can only help so much by relieving the stress and pressure of daily bills, but beyond that.. nope. If we don't take care of ourselves, our own health, and enable ourselves to connect to others in meaningful ways, all the money in the world won't make one f**k of a difference to our happiness. Make health & happiness a priority over stacking cash. IMO YMMV.


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


TW1ZTY
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Sep 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,115
Location: The US of freakin A <_<

07 Oct 2018, 2:29 pm

To quote Gabrielle Solis from Desperate Housewives:

"Sure it does, that's just a lie we tell poor people to keep them from rioting"

:mrgreen:



Alita
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Oct 2013
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 924
Location: Surrounded by water

08 Oct 2018, 8:41 am

Speaking for myself, money (like $2M) would definitely make me happier. Sure, I would expect sad moments, but overall I think I would be happier. You don't know who your real friends are until you've been dirt poor. :(

I get what you mean, though. Sorry about your grandmother. I think your idea of visiting your uncle is a great one. :) It sounds like he really needs an understanding friend he can trust. That's another thing, a person with 2 mil in the bank wouldn't know who likes them for them and not just their money.


_________________
"There once was a little molecule who dreamed of being part of the crest of a great wave..."
(From the story 'The Little Molecule' - Amazon Kindle, 2013)


superaliengirl
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 20 Mar 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 289
Location: Scandinavia

08 Oct 2018, 8:47 am

They would solve most of my problems... >.>



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 59,750
Location: Stendec

08 Oct 2018, 8:47 am

Some say that money can't bring happiness. I say give someone a thousand dollars and watch them smile.

... and ...

The lack of money is the root of all evil.


_________________
 
No love for Hamas, Hezbollah, Iranian Leadership, Islamic Jihad, other Islamic terrorist groups, OR their supporters and sympathizers.


BTDT
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2010
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,088

08 Oct 2018, 9:38 am

Haven't you heard of "retail therapy?" People will go to their favorite stores and buy stuff. Some sales associates earn commissions on what the sell, to they have lots of incentive to be friendly to their favorite customers.



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,059
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

08 Oct 2018, 9:48 am

Latinum can't buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it.
:arrow: Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #24

Where I come from some of the people who have the most friends are people who blow their money(or run up debt) doing things to have fun lke buy rounds of drinks for people, throwing big parties ect


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,490
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

08 Oct 2018, 12:21 pm

Alita wrote:
Speaking for myself, money (like $2M) would definitely make me happier. Sure, I would expect sad moments, but overall I think I would be happier. You don't know who your real friends are until you've been dirt poor. :(

I get what you mean, though. Sorry about your grandmother. I think your idea of visiting your uncle is a great one. :) It sounds like he really needs an understanding friend he can trust. That's another thing, a person with 2 mil in the bank wouldn't know who likes them for them and not just their money.


No one knows he has any money. He live WELL below his means, if those are his actual means. If you met him you'd assume he was working class poor like every other construction worker & would have no idea if he had $200 or $200M in the bank. There's a zero % chance that anyone who meets him or knows him assumes he has $2M in assets. None, whatsoever. So he definitely does not have those problems of people thinking he has money and hanging around him to abuse it.


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


XFilesGeek
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 6,031
Location: The Oort Cloud

08 Oct 2018, 12:28 pm

Oh, I'd definitely be happier if I didn't wash dishes and clean bathrooms for a living.


_________________
"If we fail to anticipate the unforeseen or expect the unexpected in a universe of infinite possibilities, we may find ourselves at the mercy of anyone or anything that cannot be programmed, categorized or easily referenced."

-XFG (no longer a moderator)


Skilpadde
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,019

08 Oct 2018, 12:39 pm

Money solves most things. If you have enough of it, it gives you security (dwelling, clothes, access to medication, doctors, food etc) and the opportunity to pursue your interests freely. The less time you need to spend on hated activities, the happier you'll be.


_________________
BOLTZ 17/3 2012 - 12/11 2020
Beautiful, sweet, gentle, playful, loyal
simply the best and one of a kind
love you and miss you, dear boy

Stop the wolf kills! https://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeact ... 3091429765


goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,490
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

08 Oct 2018, 1:01 pm

I said it solves some problems, I'll give you that. But you're all ignoring the point of this thread: That money does not solve our social problems & that only focused effort on your own health and well being will give you a fighting chance of having a "connected," social life.


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 59,750
Location: Stendec

08 Oct 2018, 1:29 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
... money does not solve our social problems & that only focused effort on your own health and well being will give you a fighting chance of having a "connected" social life.
Yepperdoodles! :D

Hand-outs and entitlements only go so far, and throwing money at social injustices doesn't solve them. But people who strive for social justice and equalization of income haven't learned yet that individual initiative is what makes people succeed, not hand-outs.


_________________
 
No love for Hamas, Hezbollah, Iranian Leadership, Islamic Jihad, other Islamic terrorist groups, OR their supporters and sympathizers.


BTDT
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2010
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,088

08 Oct 2018, 1:30 pm

My doctor says my health is fine and I shouldn't stress out on stuff. :D