Replacing an unwanted habit/fidget/stim

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SoSayWeAll
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15 Jun 2010, 12:38 am

I've tried darn near everything, from CBT to an online 12-step group to try and stop my hair-pulling, skin-picking habits, but to no real success. I don't want to do this anymore because it's leaving scars, doing permanent damage to my hair, and I believe that if I do not do something ASAP, the damage will be too much. But it's so danged HARD!

I am asking all people here, wherever they are on the spectrum, for advice on what they did when they had a habit/fidget/stim that was destructive and they wanted to stop or replace it. I may not have an ASD, but I wanted to ask a group of people where I don't feel like everyone will automatically assume I hate myself or I do it for attention. I feel safer asking here than I would in most places. :)

I don't like knowing I'm engaging in a self-destructive behavior and I'm looking for anything that has a shot of working.


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liloleme
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15 Jun 2010, 1:13 am

One of my daughters has this same problem.

Do you do it for the sensation to your skin or scalp or is it more involving your fingers ?
With my daughter it was more of a finger thing, if that is the case you can try picking at play doh or putty or hold a tangle (best place to get them is at officeplayground.com) in your hand. For the hair pulling you can find a doll and pull its hair out.

I like sensation against my skin so I sometimes wear rubberbands or hair ties around my wrists and snap my skin with them.

Dont know if any of this helps but thought Id give you our ideas.



Ferdinand
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15 Jun 2010, 3:07 am

I love to chew. I am constantly eating paper, gum packages (the box it comes in), my headphones, cans, my hand, my teeth. Everything! I just love it.


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StuartN
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15 Jun 2010, 4:55 am

SoSayWeAll wrote:
I'm looking for anything that has a shot of working.


The solution probably depends on what sensations you are deriving from or blocking with the behaviour. Some people who cut or scratch find that a red rubber band around the wrist works - you can twist or snap it without causing serious damage, but with causing serious pain, and the red reminds of blood. Some of the ear-rings and bracelets and other substitutes for smoking work in a similar way. It is possible to find ways of rocking that move the upper body less, so that rocking can feel the same without looking the same.



monkeybutt
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15 Jun 2010, 5:35 am

liloleme wrote:
if that is the case you can try picking at play doh or putty or hold a tangle (best place to get them is at officeplayground.com) in your hand. For the hair pulling you can find a doll and pull its hair out.


I cracked up at the hair pulling suggestion. I like it. As for me, I'm a cuticle picker! I pick at my fingers and nails constantly, and this bugs the heck out of me because I am trying to let my hands look nice with a manicure and everything. I agree with Liloleme about the Tangle- I have THIS ONE: http://www.officeplayground.com:80/Tang ... -P687.aspx and I really like it. I bought it from the original Tangle site, where it's four bucks more. The site recommended by Liloleme is cheaper for sure.

But for me it's a serious redirection and requires a lot of will. Every time I start picking at my fingers I have to force myself to reach over and play with my Tangle instead. Same thing goes for playing with my ear :)


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SoSayWeAll
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15 Jun 2010, 5:59 pm

liloleme wrote:
One of my daughters has this same problem.

Do you do it for the sensation to your skin or scalp or is it more involving your fingers ?
With my daughter it was more of a finger thing, if that is the case you can try picking at play doh or putty or hold a tangle (best place to get them is at officeplayground.com) in your hand. For the hair pulling you can find a doll and pull its hair out.

I like sensation against my skin so I sometimes wear rubberbands or hair ties around my wrists and snap my skin with them.

Dont know if any of this helps but thought Id give you our ideas.


It's kind of both. For starters, I don't do "sit still." ;) But it's also the sensation...if I said this anywhere else I'm sure it would get all kinds of comments, but it is "pleasurable."

I'm trying the rubber band idea out that a couple of you suggested...but yeah, I just don't want it to be where I have to be wearing a showercap all the time at home not to do this to myself. (And that doesn't stop the skin-picking part.) Thanks for the suggestions. :)


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Callista
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15 Jun 2010, 8:24 pm

You definitely definitely need to get fidgety toys! Anything that feels fun to pick at (or pick apart), play-doh or one of those Koosh balls or a stress ball or something. Figure out what feels nice about it, then replace it with something else. I wonder if maybe you'd like picking bits of foam off a chunk of foam, or tearing bits of paper off a piece of paper?

We do things for a reason, you know; your actions aren't senseless, they've got a purpose, and if you find the purpose and find some other way to fulfill it, you've solved the problem. In your case, maybe boredom or the need to do something with your hands, or getting feedback from your hands... An awful lot of the brain is taken up processing information you get from your hands, so it's no surprise that so many stims focus on the hands. (I tend to flick or flap my fingers or tap them in various patterns...)


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SoSayWeAll
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15 Jun 2010, 8:43 pm

Very interesting about the brain focusing on the hands!

I've always had this weird (unsubstantiated) ADHD theory that sometimes to focus, I have to tie up sufficient "bandwidth" with other stuff that I only have room left for the task I want. (Which is why it feels better to drive or study with music/TV on. I have tried studying in silent rooms and it does NOT work.) Might be another "tying up bandwidth" thing...who knows.

For those of you who have office jobs...what do you find to be a good work-acceptable fidget? I figure the rubber band, but other ideas would be good too. :)


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15 Jun 2010, 9:12 pm

SoSayWeAll wrote:
For starters, I don't do "sit still." ;)


If you have problems staying in your seat (I know you didn't mention that as a problem, but ...) and if your workplace will allow it, consider switching from a desk chair to one of those "yoga balls." You have to move around a bit to stay on it so it might help provide an additional proprioceptive and kinesthetic distraction for you.


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SoSayWeAll
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16 Jun 2010, 12:27 am

Well, when one has upwards of 20 different stores that one has to be ready to work at... ;)

Thankfully PART of my job does allow me to be on my feet doing things, but the paperwork--well, I don't want someone opening the door to the back office and catching me doing something destructive or just weird looking to my hair.

The rubber band and renewed use of fidget toys has helped. Still, had to resort to the shower cap tonight. I may have to just keep that as part of my bedtime routine, because if there's one thing I know from both me AND my dad, control tends to fall apart late at night. (You should hear the loud, obnoxious noises my dad makes if he's too tired! ;) )


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