Social difficulties more obvious now?

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teksla
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02 Jan 2016, 6:11 pm

Hello, I'll try to keep this short.
I now have no friends, due to the old ones dumping me for someone else.But either way i now realize how i am a total train-wreck when it comes to friends. Although i still feel like no one is ready to accept that i actually do have issues with socializing, but i will bring it up next time i see my doctor.
Is it common that social issues become more obvious during the teen years?
And any suggestions to how i should bring this up with my doctor?

Thanks

EDIT: My doctor is a very bad one and is very unwilling to diagnose anything (or test) so any suggestions on how i should approach the subject?


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Last edited by teksla on 02 Jan 2016, 6:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

skibum
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02 Jan 2016, 6:39 pm

Yes, it can definitely get harder in the teen years and in the preteen years. Social structures tend to change in those years and most of us can't understand the changes or keep up with them. They don't really make a lot of sense to us. So it can become much more difficult. It's a great idea to talk to your therapist about this. Even NTs can have trouble with the social changes as they become teens. It's very common.


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teksla
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02 Jan 2016, 6:42 pm

skibum wrote:
Yes, it can definitely get harder in the teen years and in the preteen years. Social structures tend to change in those years and most of us can't understand the changes or keep up with them. They don't really make a lot of sense to us. So it can become much more difficult. It's a great idea to talk to your therapist about this. Even NTs can have trouble with the social changes as they become teens. It's very common.

Thanks. I will bring it up next time.


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skibum
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02 Jan 2016, 7:05 pm

You are most welcome. Let us know how it all turns out.


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Noca
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02 Jan 2016, 9:07 pm

Yeah your therapist is much more likely to listen to you. Doctors tend to ignore every word that comes out of their patient's mouths.



teksla
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10 Jan 2016, 12:07 am

Hello. Just thought id update a bit. I have spoken with one of my very close friends and he has done extensive research on the subject (read the diagnostic criteria with me etc). And he is now almost certain i have aspergers. I will probably get his help when bringing this up for discussion with my parents. It feels good that he also agrees with me.
When looking through "Aspergers traits" that the doctors often look out for, i checked 53 (of the 100) for my self. I asked him to highlight the ones he thought fit me, and he highlighted 64 of them.

I'll keep everyone posted on the situation (although it is going rather slowly).


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ProbablyOverthinkingThisUsername
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10 Jan 2016, 12:17 am

Not sure if this helps, but I had barely any friends in high school but tons of them in college. Things change with time.



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10 Jan 2016, 9:28 am

I'd say it's plausible that social issues become more obvious during adolescence, because the social expectations become more complex, and therefore any deficiencies are more easily noticed. It may also be why some people slipped through the cracks being diagnosed as kids - you coped fine when all you were expected to do to be a "normal" kid was play in the mud with other kids. Then suddenly you're a young adult, and expected to have acquired the social skills befitting one, but aren't capable because you're autistic.
It could be helpful contacting a psychology practice more familiar with ASD, who are capable of administering the proper tests. Many doctors can seem t be dismissive of issues like this based on their own bias. A specialist practice is more likely to take you seriously.


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10 Jan 2016, 9:53 am

It probably has less to do with your social difficulties becoming more obvious, and more to do with the attitudes of the people around you. A lot of the time, teenagers start rejecting each other for the sake of being "tough" or "popular." The good news is that it does get better, and most people mature out of that mentality. You can get help with your social skills, and if you want to make new friends, you could join a club to meet people with similar interests, or go out and volunteer somewhere. I met a lot of nice people while volunteering at my local animal shelter.



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11 Jan 2016, 1:51 pm

teksla wrote:
Hello. Just thought id update a bit. I have spoken with one of my very close friends and he has done extensive research on the subject (read the diagnostic criteria with me etc). And he is now almost certain i have aspergers. I will probably get his help when bringing this up for discussion with my parents. It feels good that he also agrees with me.
When looking through "Aspergers traits" that the doctors often look out for, i checked 53 (of the 100) for my self. I asked him to highlight the ones he thought fit me, and he highlighted 64 of them.

I'll keep everyone posted on the situation (although it is going rather slowly).
Wow, Thanks for the update. That is actually good news. When I found out that I was Aspie and that my problems were legitimate it made me feel really good because now I understood what was happening to me and I had a way to help others understand me as well. So it really helps when you can find out. And you can learn how to make strategies and how to tell people how to help you as well. I had pretty much known for about two years before I was officially diagnosed but to actually have it officially recognized was wonderful. That really helped me. So that is great.

My social skills and my issues have not gotten any better or easier but the fact that I can say, "I am an Aspie and that is why I have difficulty," is huge. It makes all the difference for me sometimes.


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teksla
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11 Jan 2016, 3:11 pm

skibum wrote:
teksla wrote:
Hello. Just thought id update a bit. I have spoken with one of my very close friends and he has done extensive research on the subject (read the diagnostic criteria with me etc). And he is now almost certain i have aspergers. I will probably get his help when bringing this up for discussion with my parents. It feels good that he also agrees with me.
When looking through "Aspergers traits" that the doctors often look out for, i checked 53 (of the 100) for my self. I asked him to highlight the ones he thought fit me, and he highlighted 64 of them.

I'll keep everyone posted on the situation (although it is going rather slowly).
Wow, Thanks for the update. That is actually good news. When I found out that I was Aspie and that my problems were legitimate it made me feel really good because now I understood what was happening to me and I had a way to help others understand me as well. So it really helps when you can find out. And you can learn how to make strategies and how to tell people how to help you as well. I had pretty much known for about two years before I was officially diagnosed but to actually have it officially recognized was wonderful. That really helped me. So that is great.

My social skills and my issues have not gotten any better or easier but the fact that I can say, "I am an Aspie and that is why I have difficulty," is huge. It makes all the difference for me sometimes.

Hello. It feels nice to be able to vent a bit here.
I have now asked both my parents to read the same document and highlight what they thought fit in on me. It was less then i thought myself. But they were very strict with what they checked, and some things i did not think i had issues with they both checked (and that means it must be a pretty obvious issue i have, that i myself had not noticed). I am now looking through the diagnostic criteria and i am highlighting everything that my parents highlighted. I am also writing down examples of when and how these issues "show themselves" for me. It feels like i am a lot closer to a diagnosis now.
Any tips on talking to my doctor or other professionals (something you should say or something you shouldn't say?)

Thank you


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