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grain-and-field
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13 Sep 2008, 3:36 pm

butterflykitty2008 wrote:
I found this interesting because I am a self-injurier.


Yeah, well it´s not against the law. But, it could give the "government" enough reason to commit you to a hospital against your will, leaning on a law about forced mental health treatment. But you already knew that, right?

I´m just looking out for you, making sure you don´t do anything stupid. You are not going to be "happy" in a hospital, not as "happy" as you are in your own home.



wilbury
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13 Sep 2008, 4:31 pm

i started self-harming around 6 years ago and it has got worse since then. i do control it better now. i only do it badly when i'm going through a stressful situation or i'm going throgh depression. it was incredibly tough when my parents found out and never thought that i was the type of person to do that sort of thing.


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Belfast
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13 Sep 2008, 6:24 pm

I don't draw clear line between various methods individuals use to cope with distress, the categories blur/blend together in my mind, according to my perspective. These are all variations on "self-regulatory" actions, each person has their own ways that work to some extent-or are the only ones available in their situation, for the time being.

Thus, this topic reminds me of a thread on substance abuse (in which I posted):
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt71426.html

Belfast wrote:
Link to interesting (and such research is tragically uncommon) study on sensory modulation disorders (not AS, but many people with AS have sensory problems, too) & substance abuse-
http://members.tripod.com/~Chrisfreu/ot ... roject.htm

This is a stretch, pure speculation, but I'll throw it out here for the heck of it:
Sometimes watch A&E series "Intervention"-and I wonder if any of those people have undiagnosed sensory (modulation, processing, integration) problems that no one's paying any attention to. Not saying it seems likely for many of them, but just that it's a possibility for a few. Such an issue can seem invisible if you aren't looking for it & aren't aware that sensory problems could be at root of other acquired problems that happen along the way.

For example, I smoke cigarettes because I hate the taste & smell of most foods, so it's actually useful for me to dull my hypersensitive sensory perceptions. Hardly a healthy habit, but am explaining that this is one of the (several, varied) reasons. Others wouldn't likely be able to figure out my motivation, because most of them like food tastes & smells-they wouldn't understand what extra factor was "rewarding" or reinforcing to me, about this bad habit.

Callista wrote:
I think the article's completely ignoring that many (maybe most?) Aspie self-injurers don't do it to cope with rejection, but with overload. SI in autistics, whether repetitive or involuntary or deliberate, tends to have something to do with sensory overload, or transitions, or unexpected/uncontrollable events. I don't see why Aspies should be any different. (There's some crossover. Emotions can overhwhelm anybody, NT or Aspie, and add to base-level stress load enough to cause meltdown.)

Anyway, trying to cope with emotions using self-injury doesn't really work. It just helps for a half hour (or whatever length of time), and then you're right back to the emotions again. Same with overload. But there's no denying that if your brain's wired just right, you will benefit from it for that short time. People do things for a reason, and self-injury always has a reason behind it.

I'm not recommending SI, obviously; it just seems to be something autistics resort to more often than NTs.

Good points.

In the thread to which I linked above, I also made this elaborate disclaimer:
Belfast wrote:
Discussing the reasons one does something isn't defending/excusing/justifying, but acknowledging there are valid functions/purposes that the action or material serves, and understanding something-whether or not it's labeled as a problem-is necessary step to addressing what the problem is comprised of. It's important to know what "Z" thing is "doing for you" if one wishes to find more satisfactory (or socially acceptable) alternatives (habits, milder-"legal"-drugs, etc.) that will also meet those needs/wants/desires.

Again, my agenda is not to promote or discourage a behavior (whether to use or to abstain, from coffee or cigarettes, et al), sharing information is my goal. It's up to each individual to make choice based on his/her unique combination of variables, as to what is "right" for him/her, then & there (as one's answer-yes or no to this or that-may change over time & across circumstance/setting).

I've been a self-injurer to some degree in past-I still have the urges/impulses, but am less able to carry them out. Part of it is merely aging & decaying, which has made me less able to derive gratification (relief from mental pain, pleasant distraction, release of tension) from cutting or the like. It worked better before my body started to fall apart on its own.

Also, having a couple counselors that I talk with on regular basis (in the few years since I got this dx) has helped me have some outlet for my out-of-control emotional states & seemingly unsolvable problems. Gotts' admit that it's nice to have an online forum where I can read & write at any time of day, as my problems don't happen only during business hours,-usually the hardest times, psychologically, are weekends at 3 a.m. (when no one I know is awake).


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aspiartist
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13 Sep 2008, 6:45 pm

My self-injury was more related to emotional pain. On a sensory level, it was very hard to actually carry out because I'm extremely hypersensitive. I can't even stand a small particle in my sock and things like mild pressure on my skin feels painful, etc. For me it was more related to overwhelming feelings. When I made it physical, it redirected the pain into something I could more tolerate and also do something about. I would have never resorted to this had there not been so much emotional pain at work, because of sensory sensitivity.

The opposite may be true for those who have hyposensitivity and may use it as a technique in order to feel.



prillix
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13 Sep 2008, 7:04 pm

I enjoy getting cuts, i used to get em all the time in the woodworking shop before i quit and it felt great. I've never intentionally injured myself, yet i came very close to it a few times, i just don't think its a road i want to go down cause if i do, there's no turning back.



Callista
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13 Sep 2008, 9:39 pm

"No turning back" wouldn't mean you'd do it constantly all your life. It does mean that most people who have a habit of SI do have temptations to do it even after they stop. It's probably a bit like quitting smoking. And the arguments for never hurting yourself for the first time are probably similar to the arguments I could give for not smoking your first cigarette.


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prillix
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13 Sep 2008, 11:04 pm

I agree with you there Callista. I've never had a cigarette either :P



sirtlan
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14 Sep 2008, 8:03 am

grain-and-field wrote:
butterflykitty2008 wrote:
I found this interesting because I am a self-injurier.


Yeah, well it´s not against the law. But, it could give the "government" enough reason to commit you to a hospital against your will, leaning on a law about forced mental health treatment. But you already knew that, right?

I´m just looking out for you, making sure you don´t do anything stupid. You are not going to be "happy" in a hospital, not as "happy" as you are in your own home.


Not to start wank or anything, but PLEASE don't call SI stupid. For those who need it, stupid is the last thing it is, and it finds that really condescending. Say dangerous, or risky or whatever, but please don't call SI stupid.



sinsboldly
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14 Sep 2008, 2:57 pm

Sedaka wrote:
i would pick at skin a lot (i get eczema)... but have stopped by switching methods... i take very hot showers and i have a detachable showerhead so i can hose particular areas with really hot water. it feels just like itching, but better. i have a high heat tolerance. it's actually helped a lot cause i'm starting to heal up. i'll be able to comfortably wear shorts next summer (have a bad spot on one leg).


I do the same thing for poison oak (we have it west of the Rockies in the States). Hot water does something akin to orgasmic excitement, unfortunately with out the orgasmic release, but it is its own catharsis.

Merle


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steelback
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14 Sep 2008, 7:38 pm

I once deliberately whacked myself in the head with my cane in the hope that it would drive the negative thoughts from my head, and because I wondered what it would feel like, since so many people do hurt themselves on purpose. It didn't work, and it hurt, but I wonder if the urge to do it again might still be in there somewhere.



sinsboldly
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14 Sep 2008, 8:01 pm

steelback wrote:
I once deliberately whacked myself in the head with my cane in the hope that it would drive the negative thoughts from my head, and because I wondered what it would feel like, since so many people do hurt themselves on purpose. It didn't work, and it hurt, but I wonder if the urge to do it again might still be in there somewhere.


I have screamed until my throat was raw and ached and hurt and I couldn't talk. I have often felt like banging my head like the little kids with the helmets in the grainy films of Kanner's Autism research, but it only seems to happen when I am in public, like at the office or at a grocery store. I did sit down on the floor of a grocery store once when I waited far too long to get something to eat, and the sheer enormity of the task of buying tomato soup, taking it home and heating it up and then eating it was just too much for me to handle.

wow, and I had no idea why that was happening, either. It didn't happen to people I knew, and the look on the young shelf stocker peering at me around the corner told me it was inappropriate.
Other than that, self injury was always grand scale.
Merle


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Foringinn
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14 Sep 2008, 8:17 pm

When I was youger I used to cut my self.

But I forced myself to stop when I turned 18 becouse I wanted to give blood.



NextFact
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14 Sep 2008, 9:25 pm

i have as too and i never self harmed.



kleodimus
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15 Sep 2008, 9:56 am

it relates to me...pegasus FTW



Calvin
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29 Nov 2008, 2:44 pm

My sensory overloads elicit masochism, resulting in the loss of hand blood. Subsequent negativity is due to my having to attempt avoidance of apprehension.



ReGiFroFoLa
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29 Nov 2008, 2:57 pm

Yep, I do self-harm a lot... I either bang my head against the wall or I scratch my skin until I bleed... I also sometimes cut my skin... But it all just calms me down and stimulates me :twisted: It relieves me from stress and anxiety... There's nothing wrong about that.