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Loborojo
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25 Sep 2008, 6:28 pm

How do you feel at the dining table with turkey on your plate and lots of gossiping, chit chat around you. How do you participate or how do you avoid the social skill you have to display?

It is not so important or was, when I was young. We (in Belgium) celebrate New Year more than Christmas. Now it has become bigger, too big (thanks to the media and commerce) and we always have to buy presents and look happy and cheerful.

I have been avoiding get togethers for X-Mas for some years now. It feels so unnatural...the way one has to behave, but everyone celebrates it, even atheists 8) :oops:


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Last edited by Loborojo on 25 Sep 2008, 7:20 pm, edited 2 times in total.

patternist
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25 Sep 2008, 6:37 pm

I have the perfect Xmas strategy: I usually drink just enough wine, and when I have to I go hide in the spare bedroom and play games on my mom's computer.



25 Sep 2008, 7:13 pm

Christmas isn't a problem to me. I would just sit at the table and eat and leave when I be done.


I also loved getting presents so that's why I loved Christmas. My parents never really threw a Christmas party or invited over a lot of friends. The friends that came over were my dad's and we would all eat and they would visit. We also stayed home on the holidays but that one year we went to Montana and had Christmas at my grandparents and had a New Years eve party but it was with family only; Grandma and Grandpa, my uncle, my two other uncles, and us.


I still love the holidays to this day because I like all the decorations and I buy gifts but I don't really like it but I do it anyway. I just call my mother and ask what I should get and write down ideas.

My family came over this past Christmas and I had a good time with them. I opened the gifts they brought me and I chatted with my parents while my brother tried my Wii. My Dad also tried it too. My other brother just sat on the couch.


With my family never forcing me to be with them, things went great for me.



Magnus
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25 Sep 2008, 7:16 pm

I'm dreading it. But, I love to be with immediate family in a casual environment. I love Christmas and the songs and all the lights and crap. But, I agree that the formal celebration makes me very uncomfortable.


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Loborojo
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25 Sep 2008, 7:25 pm

My lady friend I travel with is British and we have been together for 2 years traveling form asia to S America. Twice I have refused to celbrate it. Now she will leave me to celebrate this time wiht her family.

She said she cares about it not for a religious reason but because she likes being together with friends and family.

Do you think it was selfish of my part or was I true to myself by sticking to my values??

When she found out I was Aspie she wrote about it to her friend, who jokingly said to her: "Run and hide yourself..."
It would be hell for her to live with an Aspie who on top of it is gay, she added.

Now she is leaving me maybe for good


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You are very likely an Aspie


Last edited by Loborojo on 25 Sep 2008, 7:43 pm, edited 2 times in total.

25 Sep 2008, 7:36 pm

I still would have come anyway just to be nice if I were you but I would bring things with me to keep myself company while there while everyone else can talk and have a good time while you are by yourself.



silentbob15
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25 Sep 2008, 7:41 pm

I miss having Christmas dinner and being with my mom & dad, they are both gone now, and I don't talk with my remaining family.



Loborojo
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25 Sep 2008, 7:41 pm

Spokane_Girl wrote:
I still would have come anyway just to be nice if I were you but I would bring things with me to keep myself company while there while everyone else can talk and have a good time while you are by yourself.


this wasn't about me going somehwere to celebrate it but to celebrate it tête à tête with her, but I refused to that twice on two occasions in our own flat.

Going to England with her this year I would end up at the table with her relatives, grandchildren, cousins, you name, people I have never seen. I don't know if I should, and I feel guilty now about having refused to celbrate it the 2 previous years


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zeldapsychology
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25 Sep 2008, 8:29 pm

Christmas and Thanksgiving the only 2 times! You'll see me eat with the whole family. (except a bowl of cereal on rare occasions) I usually eat in my bedroom cake/ice cream for Birthdays (even my OWN!) I eat in my room by myself. I like it better that way since I eat quick and don't get told to eat slower. (I've been constantly told if you are going to eat fast eat in your room) So I started doing just THAT!! :-)



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25 Sep 2008, 8:36 pm

Well I didn't do that so w00t.

Hmm I never really had an opinion on meeting families in Xmas, etc. Well actually I did, I didn't want it as I was playing with my stuff the whole day :P


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MrMacPhisto
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26 Sep 2008, 1:20 am

It's never been a problem to me these days it's just close family meaning me, my mum, my sister, her husband and their kids. Simple.

But please I don't want to think about Christmas just yet it is still September and I want to sit through October and November first! :D :D



Alycat
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26 Sep 2008, 3:58 am

Christmas isn't a problem in my family. There is just my parents, my brother and I, and we go for a walk. We have a dinner, but it's not a big thing with loads of relatives, so it's not too stressful


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26 Sep 2008, 4:52 am

We have defferent parts of my family over each. so its never the same. but i like sitting and listening to what they has to say. and correct them if they say someething there is wrong.

8)



CockneyRebel
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26 Sep 2008, 6:36 am

I enjoy the basic things about Christmas, such as the music, movies, gift-giving and decorations. I find the family get togethers a little awkward. If I'm at my parents house, I just sneak off and go on the Internet. I can't really do that, at my relatives' places.


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ToughDiamond
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26 Sep 2008, 6:37 am

Bah! Humbug!

As a child I loved Christmas, probably because of the holiday, the presents, and the loads of other cool stuff.

As an adult, I mostly dread it. I hate the tacky over-commercialisation and the stream of responsibilities to do the socially acceptable stuff. I've seen a grown man worried sick that he might not be able to earn enough money to give his family a good Xmas. I felt it was up to his family to make do with his best effort and leave it at that, but he wouldn't have it.

I was always quite happy to make the effort for children though. My son and I would share the winter solstice instead, because my ex-wife began taking de facto decisions to go away with him over Xmas. So I softened the blow by telling him that the solstice was more important. He bought into the idea and we still tend to believe that today.

Christmas cards are too much for me - it's not the work, it's the fear of leaving anybody out and of giving cards to people who don't want them. I feel that once I've given a card, it'll be noticed if I don't remember to do it next year.

Mistletoe is a nice idea but I don't hold with the notion that somebody has permission to almost sexually assault me just because they've stuck a plant on their ceiling. But that's probably got more to do with some of the parties I've been to - there was an "ethic" in my first workplace that infidelity didn't count at Xmas. It was a load of idiots trying very hard to sin while I just wanted to go home and be with my girlfriend. When I tried to leave early, my boss teased me by telling me I wasn't allowed to go till the proper time. Luckily a couple of men carried her off back to the orgy and I made good my escape. The union rep was busy undressing a secretary or two, though he did that all year round. Out of maybe 10 of these minor assaults that I saw, only one girl ever stopped him!

But there is a good side. You can turn up on the doorstep of a friend that you haven't bothered to see for ages, and hide behind the fact that it's the season for people to do that. 8)
And I saw a community where people didn't buy anything for each other at Xmas. Instead, they made things for each other. I loved that.

I've mellowed in recent years. I like mince pies.

:santa:



Keith
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26 Sep 2008, 11:55 am

I gave up Christmas, best move I ever made. I am not Christian so there is no need to celebrate anything, just watch end on end of adverts about the good will season. It's the only time people notice other people