Page 1 of 2 [ 30 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

misslottie
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 30 Sep 2008
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 304

16 Oct 2008, 8:52 am

excellent- yes- me!
i was actually going to post today to ask whether im the only one.

i cant make small talk, but will happily chat away with strangers if they have something interesting to say, if im in the mood. i have even initiated conversations- eg- asking man on bus if book he was reading was any good (by an author i like) etc.

i find some people in explicably problematic, and cant make eye contact or speak to them comfortably etc, but im quite happy to talk to people- generally providing i initiate it (beucase i dislike surprises, or may be in a non communicative mood). i sometimes have periods of being virtually unable to speak at all, and can be very moody, but otherwise i come across,a nd generally feel too, quite confident and sure of what i have to say.
i have no problem speaking to strangers, or public speaking.

i do, though, have a crippling inability to be in the same room for long with any other people, and doubt i could ever share a house with another adult. and social interation makes me tired.
its somewhat ironic, not to mention annoying...
;-(



Aurore
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Dec 2007
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,187
Location: Virginia Tech

16 Oct 2008, 2:34 pm

It's definitely possible. My bff, another Aspie, is ridiculously extroverted to the point of going up and randomly talking to strangers, petting their babies, etc. I'm pretty extroverted with my friends, but otherwise am shy and quiet.


_________________
?Evil? No. Cursed?! No. COATED IN CHOCOLATE?! Perhaps. At one time. But NO LONGER.?


Mosse
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 428

16 Oct 2008, 3:05 pm

wrongshoes wrote:
My DS (3.5) exhibits many Aspie traits, but is extremely extroverted. I'm having trouble making sense of him since I'm extremely introverted.

He does seem to have social difficulties, but seems to want to be social at the same time.

I guess his desires for social interaction mainly consist of wanting someone to wrestle with him, help him when he gets stuck building with K'nex, or listen to his monologues (he is extremely verbal).

I don't even know what I'm asking... I guess I'm asking is it possible to be an Aspie and extroverted as well?


I'm "apparently" an aspie and I'm extroverted. I do good socially, though.



Confused-Fish
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jan 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 946
Location: trapped in a jar

16 Oct 2008, 10:54 pm

wrongshoes wrote:
My DS (3.5) exhibits many Aspie traits, but is extremely extroverted. I'm having trouble making sense of him since I'm extremely introverted.

He does seem to have social difficulties, but seems to want to be social at the same time.

I guess his desires for social interaction mainly consist of wanting someone to wrestle with him, help him when he gets stuck building with K'nex, or listen to his monologues (he is extremely verbal).

I don't even know what I'm asking... I guess I'm asking is it possible to be an Aspie and extroverted as well?


Yes. i more extroverted than introverted, to be honest being extroverted and being a aspie is probably more awkward then being introverted.



tomboy4good
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,379
Location: Irritating people everywhere

17 Oct 2008, 10:19 am

I can be extroverted, if the situation feels right. I can even talk with strangers, if it's not a large group. I tend to lean more towards introversion though. I feel most comfortable alone. Put my in a group of people who sort of know me in a social situation, & that's where I am most uncomfortable. A good example would be an office party. That's where I get judged most harshly.


_________________
If I do something right, no one remembers. If I do something
wrong, no one forgets.

Aspie Score: 173/200, NT score 31/200: very likely an Aspie
5/18/11: New Aspie test: 72/72
DX: Anxiety plus ADHD/Aspergers: inconclusive


carbondate
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 16 Oct 2008
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 10
Location: Guam

17 Oct 2008, 8:33 pm

I've learned to imitate the behaviors of people around me in social settings, but sometimes I'd rather not. I really despise idle chit-chat, and if the conversation revolves around something I find boring, I'll make an excuse to go home. But I've gotten better about just randomly drifting off like I used to, because that used to really confuse people and/or creep them out.



NocturnalQuilter
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Oct 2008
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 937

17 Oct 2008, 8:41 pm

carbondate wrote:
I've learned to imitate the behaviors of people around me in social settings...


My doctor and I were talking last night about my near-clinical observation of how the "popular" kids in school interacted, behaved, etc. Those behaviors, once disected and analyzed (smile here, laught there, etc), can be mimicked. That is how I learned to at least blend in. I still do this now.



Catster2
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jan 2007
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 587

17 Oct 2008, 9:07 pm

you can ber aspie and outgoing as a kid I was more intoverted at school etc but still loved talking to people but now I am more outgoing as I gain confidence it is my natural instict to be outgoing I like talking to people (sometimes too much :D. Each aspie has their own personality some are quiet like my friend Dan and others outgoing but the underlying social issues will always be there.



LostInSpace
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Apr 2007
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,617
Location: Dixie

17 Oct 2008, 10:17 pm

wrongshoes wrote:
Thanks for all your responses.

Just wanted to point out that both "extravert" and "extrovert" are in the dictionary.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/extrovert


Yup, in fact Merriam-Webster lists "extrovert" as the main spelling, and "extravert" as a variant.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/extrovert


I am not extroverted at all, but I could imagine an Aspie being extroverted. Not in a socially appropriate way perhaps, but extroverted.


_________________
Not all those who wander are lost... but I generally am.


Mixtli
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 30 Sep 2008
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 111
Location: Portland OR

17 Oct 2008, 11:43 pm

For me it comes and goes, depending:

In my mind I am always extroverted, or willing to be so; however:


-Love relationships (Getting better)
-No problem being extroverted, though I have to be careful to limit discussions on my topics of interest; I've gotten good at
focusing on the other person and maintaining dialog.
-Bock and forth deep conversations are relatively easy, because I am good at deep conversations.

-Close friends (?)
-Don't have any close friends around me at the moment. In the past they were usually quirky, or needy. I'm a little
tired of quirky, thus I haven't had any close friends for a long time. Now that I think I might be AS, I wouldn't mind a
similar AS as a friend.
-I'm good at talking about deep subjects, so when I had close friends I could talk for hours about such things.

-Small groups of friends and acquantances (good - moderate)
-Depending on the group, sometimes I can bring the group to 'my world,' and sort of have them follow me, if that makes
sense. I can pull this off sometimes, but not very often.
-Otherwise I'm pretty much along for the ride and don't rock the boat. I come accross as slightly shy, but only because I
know to mostly keep my mouth shut or risk being exluded from whatever fun thing is going to happen.
-I generally don't last for long periods of time in social groups, I think they eventually sense I am a little off.

-Random person on the street (good);
-I usually have a few quips in store for random brief encounters.

-Random person in the same boat, such as a play area with my kids (moderate):
-I can fake normal for a while as long as I have been in the situation a number of times, simply because I've mastered
discussion points. I won't last too long though; After using up my bag of tricks, I usually feel like just going away.

-Social Party (Sometimes good/ sometimes bad):
-Meeting new people is fine, because it's about small talk; I've learned to do that masterfully.
-After getting comfortable with someone, I begin to fall flat unless I use the technique in being over interested in what they
are saying, or manage to get them really interested in what I might have to say.
-Engaging in conversations with people who know each other better than me is very difficult as I can neither fake it with
small talk or understand their dynamic.
-Sometimes, when I just sit back observe, someone will start a conversation with me; since they are leading
and are apparently interested in talking to me, this is probably the closest I get to a "natural" effortless conversation. Albeit
short lived. Usually these conversations are somewhat deep for some reason, which I enjoy and am good at.

-Office party or after work with a group of coworkers (one of the worst situations):
-Don't get what's going on. People know each other too well to talk about the weather and are not close enough to talk about
deep things; also, no one wants to talk in detail about projects at work (which I would prefer to do).
-Also, there is a political dynamic which really makes it frustrating, because I won't do well in that situation.



Xanderbeanz
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Aug 2008
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 627

17 Oct 2008, 11:47 pm

i am the most extroverted person i have ever met....

although sometimes even i like to go back into myself and dig around to try and deal with past demons...

i crave social acceptance, people liking me...things i never got when i was younger....so yeah...it is entirely possible to be an extrovert+aspergers :) x



earthmonkey
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jun 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 432

17 Oct 2008, 11:57 pm

I used to always say I was introverted because people would say I was shy, but that didn't really describe me accurately.

A teacher would see me run out of a group of kids when it got noisy (especially pre-dx) and probably assume that I was shying away from the socializing rather than from sensory onslaughts and meltdowns and shutdown (I have both, and often alternate between them).

But really I am more extroverted, but a lot of times the words don't get out right, and I stammer. Other times I have practiced the sentence in my head and under my breath before saying, and am very smooth in language and gesture.

Other times, completely silent. So I really vary quite a lot in how I appear, but personality-wise I have a lot more of the social desire, even though I don't make the eye contact that most people normally would make to indicate it. I enjoy social outings and being with people a lot.


_________________
"There are things you need not know of, though you live and die in vain,
There are souls more sick of pleasure than you are sick of pain"

--G. K. Chesterton, The Aristocrat


zen_mistress
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jun 2007
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,033

18 Oct 2008, 2:37 pm

I am an extrovert- ENFP. It is good to see there are more on the board than usually crop up. I do feel a little unusual. I'm not a strong extrovert though, I seem to get about a 60% score on extroversion. I am a strong Intuitive and Perceiver, definitely.


_________________
"Caravan is the name of my history, and my life an extraordinary adventure."
~ Amin Maalouf

Taking a break.


stimpysuzie
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 26 Dec 2007
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 79
Location: Not where I want to be

18 Oct 2008, 3:45 pm

I am an extrovert only when I am comfortable with a person and expect no repercussions from being "out there"
I can be fairly extroverted in public if I am in what I consider "posh" clothes. It's like I am a different person when I put my fancy pants clothes on.
The only problem I face when I am being extroverted in front of people I trust, is that I more prone to being talked to like a child. I suppose if I am acting like one then that is how I should be treated?!

I have to temper the extrovert in me on occasion as stepping over the boundary with the client can be catastrophic.
For example I was helping a client pick colours for her bathroom, she saw a tint in the colour we had agreed on that wasn't there and I, in my moment of comfort told her she was colour blind. Well that was not the best thing to say I guess. She is now getting the whole bathroom tiled!

Later Later



ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 71
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,146

18 Oct 2008, 6:59 pm

I've read that it's mostly cumulative social failure that dulls the desire for social contact, and that Aspie children can start off precociously.

My experience is similar, nobody would have noticed any social problems until I was about 10. In reality there were a few problems but I had a big reluctance to alert adults to important difficulties, so occasionally they couldn't understand why I'd screwed up. I was quite close to my father and used him like a walking encyclopedia with my questions. I don't think there were any bullies or opportunities for social exclusion until later.

The failures mounted up after that, but I never gave up, and there was usuallly at least one kid to hang around with. I wasn't the only one who stayed on the touchline of the mainstream thing. Right into my 20s I was pushing myself to improve my social performance, even went alone into a bar and struck up a conversation with strangers, just to see if I could do it. But it wasn't a case of dong it once giving me the skill for life, I still had the predisposition.

There was a very bad dip some years later after a very close relationship ended, but eventually I pulled out of that. I'm capable of being sociable when I feel at ease with somebody, otherwise I can make a lot of mistakes or more likely seem introverted.