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hanyo
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05 Aug 2012, 8:42 pm

Can you really force yourself to do things? Is it reasonable to expect someone to force themself to do things? What if these things are extremely difficult for someone and causes them so much anxiety and distress that it seems like any possible consequence can't be worse than the anxiety and distress?

I was thinking about this after someone acted like I could or should force myself to do certain things.



hanyo
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05 Aug 2012, 9:25 pm

They also acted like bad consequences for not doing things would somehow get me to force myself to do things. That sure didn't work when I was in school and I couldn't make myself go to school even though it meant multiple family court visits and being sent away a couple of times. The potential bad consequences are more likely to just make me avoid or ignore the entire issue and hope that they don't happen.



LittleDarwin
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05 Aug 2012, 9:25 pm

I think we learn to deal with situations if we push the envelope. Howevrr, I don't think it is right that some people think that everyone should do what they do.

Where you choose to draw the line is your choice.



MakaylaTheAspie
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05 Aug 2012, 9:30 pm

Don't be afraid to go along with it, but also be ready to draw the line if it goes too far outside your comfort level. I learned that lesson the hard way. :x


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nrau
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05 Aug 2012, 9:39 pm

Please, give more information
I have no idea what you're talking about



hanyo
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05 Aug 2012, 9:44 pm

I was purposely keeping it vague as it can apply to many things that you can't do or have a lot of trouble with but others expect you to just make yourself do.

In my case it was involving things like getting a job where I'd have to interact with customers all day but can't because of severe social anxiety.



Stargazer43
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05 Aug 2012, 9:45 pm

I've forced myself to do quite a few things, and I don't regret it in the least ;). You'd be surprised what a little willpower can do!



lightening020
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05 Aug 2012, 9:45 pm

This is a very good question. I don't know. Is there any point in forcing yourself to do something that you know you need to get better at, but you just don't feel it?

I've forced myself to do some things to help get out of my shell and be more social, and you know what? I regret some of those things definitely.

I used to think that forcing myself to do something like to approach strangers would be like SNAP and if you go through with it gets easier and breaks down part of the barrier. I learned for myself, that social situations have to be natural. Yes I have to push myself a little bit, but the fact is i'm not comfortable at bars. No reason force myself there, force myself to talk to someone when it isn't natural. I think there is a balance. You can't force social situations. If you REALLY HAVE TO FORCE IT, then something is very wrong.....



Last edited by lightening020 on 05 Aug 2012, 9:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

MakaylaTheAspie
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05 Aug 2012, 9:46 pm

hanyo wrote:
In my case it was involving things like getting a job where I'd have to interact with customers all day but can't because of severe social anxiety.


My point exactly. If you don't think you can do it, draw the line and tell whoever or whatever's forcing you to do it that you just wouldn't be able to do it.


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nrau
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05 Aug 2012, 9:47 pm

hanyo wrote:
I was purposely keeping it vague as it can apply to many things that you can't do or have a lot of trouble with but others expect you to just make yourself do.

In my case it was involving things like getting a job where I'd have to interact with customers all day but can't because of severe social anxiety.


No, no, no. They tell you to do things you don't want to do, right?
Then the problem is not "forcing yourself" but "giving in to environment pressure" or "clash of values" or something among these lines.



hanyo
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05 Aug 2012, 9:49 pm

MakaylaTheAspie wrote:

My point exactly. If you don't think you can do it, draw the line and tell whoever or whatever's forcing you to do it that you just wouldn't be able to do it.


Luckily for me no one really has the power to really force me to do anything but sometimes people think I should force myself to do stuff. It was just a discussion with someone that has no power over me and I thought it would be interesting to talk about here.



League_Girl
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05 Aug 2012, 10:01 pm

I have forced myself do to things and one time I forced myself to do something, I ended up breaking down and my husband had to calm me down. I was at a point in my life this year where I could not handle things anymore and couldn't do it. It cause me anxiety and distress and meltdowns.


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MakaylaTheAspie
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05 Aug 2012, 10:23 pm

hanyo wrote:
MakaylaTheAspie wrote:

My point exactly. If you don't think you can do it, draw the line and tell whoever or whatever's forcing you to do it that you just wouldn't be able to do it.


Luckily for me no one really has the power to really force me to do anything but sometimes people think I should force myself to do stuff. It was just a discussion with someone that has no power over me and I thought it would be interesting to talk about here.


I see.

Forgive me. :lol:


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thewhitrbbit
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05 Aug 2012, 10:42 pm

Absolutely, I consider it along the same lines of doing things you don't like to do. There are days I force myself to go to work, force myself to attend a meeting, force myself to do projects I'm putting off.



Mirror21
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06 Aug 2012, 12:14 am

I tried to like Kiwis. My roommates would not leave me the heck alone about getting over it and exaggeration about the feel of kiwi skin and even comparing it to coconuts, which are coarse, huge, and dry fruits compared to touching a kiwi, plus you don't eat the outside of a coconut. I still hate them.



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06 Aug 2012, 6:07 am

Everyone has to draw a line somewhere, I suppose, but a lot of the line-drawing must be re-evaluated at some point, otherwise you'll never grow as an individual.

There's been a lot of times in life where I've been forced to do something I really didn't want to do (keeping in mind these things have always been inside the law and in no way actually harmfull.)

Some of these things I resisted tooth and nail, and some of these things I ended up having meltdowns about. But most of those things I am so glad I was forced into, becaue even the ones that caused meltdowns I can now deal with a lot better. A lot better. And I was able to pick myself up and move on. Doesn't mean those things weren't difficult or downright horrible, but after having done them, I'm a far more confident and competent person.


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