Is it normal to compare yourself to others?

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i_wanna_blue
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07 Feb 2009, 6:17 am

I know everyone says you shouldn't and I get the feeling from most motivational books I've read that this is kinda taboo. But I was just wondering, if it's just normal human behaviour to compare yourself to others, especially if you're the odd one out? So what do you guys reckon, is it normal? And is it a bad thing? Can anynone offer some advice regarding this topic?



ruveyn
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07 Feb 2009, 6:45 am

i_wanna_blue wrote:
I know everyone says you shouldn't and I get the feeling from most motivational books I've read that this is kinda taboo. But I was just wondering, if it's just normal human behaviour to compare yourself to others, especially if you're the odd one out? So what do you guys reckon, is it normal? And is it a bad thing? Can anynone offer some advice regarding this topic?


Yes. It is normal.

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Hector
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07 Feb 2009, 6:58 am

Yes it is generally normal, but is it sensible?



Sora
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07 Feb 2009, 7:09 am

It's normal human behaviour, though certain forms of autism can save you from this need for comparison.


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i_wanna_blue
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07 Feb 2009, 8:01 am

I guess, if you're always trying to figure yourself out, you have to look at those around you, in order to judge yourself. Maybe I just wish I could be more like everyone else. Stupid thing, I know....



Jwa
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07 Feb 2009, 8:08 am

Sora wrote:
It's normal human behaviour, though certain forms of autism can save you from this need for comparison.

I must have those! :) - as I never compare myself to others! Quite like myself as I am.

Oh, I know someone who is very loud, very confident, very NT - yet he hates how he doesn't fit into every circle (I somehow do that well - without trying) - so a lot of people seem to do this, compare themselves to others. Which is a bit sad. Why not just be yourself and be comfotable with yourself.



i_wanna_blue
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07 Feb 2009, 8:16 am

Jwa wrote:
Sora wrote:
It's normal human behaviour, though certain forms of autism can save you from this need for comparison.

I must have those! :) - as I never compare myself to others! Quite like myself as I am.

Oh, I know someone who is very loud, very confident, very NT - yet he hates how he doesn't fit into every circle (I somehow do that well - without trying) - so a lot of people seem to do this, compare themselves to others. Which is a bit sad. Why not just be yourself and be comfotable with yourself.


I suppose you're right. Maybe I should stop, to be totally honest I think this is just a symptom of terrible anxiety, for obvious reasons I like myself better when I'm not anxious... :)



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07 Feb 2009, 8:17 am

Yes, it is normal human behavior to compare yourself to others.

In a sense, this is how we learn to socialize.
This is part of the way we figure out what is expected and acceptable in society.
It's supposed to be a means of guiding you towards the refinement of yourself.

Of course, when it comes to autism, all this stuff can be a confusing mess.


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RoisinDubh
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07 Feb 2009, 9:49 am

Hector wrote:
Yes it is generally normal, but is it sensible?


Amen. What's normal is actually RARELY sensible.


I will still compare myself to others on a social basis....gives me an insight into what I'm doing 'wrong' or 'inappropriately', and something to copy (gawd....I hate copying other people, and those who do it, but in some cases, it's just necessary) when I have to. Don't do this nearly as often as I used to, since I don't really have to.

When I used to do it regularly, it only drove me crazy. I found myself at the same time bitter against them for being so goddamn at ease all the time, and disgusted with them for being such a lot of mindless, creativity-free sheep. I'm still an avid people-watcher, and occasionally still get bitter and/or irritated by them, but now it's far more of a case of me being an amateur anthropologist, watching them the way you'd watch animals in a zoo, then comparing myself to them. There IS little comparison, and I'm pretty happy with it being that way. :)



SpongeBobRocksMao
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07 Feb 2009, 1:22 pm

Yeah, I think it's normal. I've compared myself to others in the past and from what I've seen, it seems like a lot do.


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