Do you attract lots of haters?

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I wouldn't say I do because people leave me alone so it's like I am ignored. It's the opposite of my childhood. Online I will sometimes get haters.

While I try to stay under the radar, it seems people start ignoring and avoiding me without ever even having a conversation. Or they'll be friendly for a while if we share common interests, then drift away.

I have had people hate me as well and it seems to be from people who seem to hate me because they have problems of their own.
They are mainly people who hate themselves over some type of insecurity about themselves. I am also quite outspoken and probably beyond my years and that will drive other people to the grave.

I was hated at one of my previous places of employment because the other workers over there were doing some unethical things. For instance a few of the co-workers were talking about grabbing their boobs or hugging each other at work. I got into the habit of it for a while until I realized something was wrong. Then the job coach was who came in was very lazy and unprofessional. She would call me "Little Miss Priss."

I finally spoke up about it and they have looked at me as if I were a trouble maker. They also started spreading lies about me to other co-workers next to not coming to my special events or getting me cards or gifts. When I was under another account on WP they found out that I was writing about their behavior on here. They got a hold of the information and started acting really hostile. They also tried to fire me. Luckily another job coach stepped in and told them not to.

I'm happy for people to ignore me but haven't noticed anyone trying to avoid me though.
I'm quite content to go about my life doing my stuff without drawing attention to myself.
My friends are my friends because we choose to be in each others lives.
I'm happy being who I am without needing to be noticed by or the approval of others.

God I feel so lucky every time I read something like this because I'm self employed and my financial situation has been pretty secure since I starting working in taxes and as a notary. I couldn't stand working with people. Ever since I went in business for myself I could choose all of the people I associate with and my interactions with people are mostly pleasant. I don't see how adults on the spectrum can feel sane at all when they aren't self employed.

Glad you appreciate for your good fortune. While probably most members legitimately have little reason to feel lucky, I see plenty of people who don't appreciate their luck sh*****g on others who aren't as lucky.

As for me I could never be self employed because of executive functioning and especially theory of mind issues. I would be eaten alive(http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/ ... eone+alive) by vendors, lawyers etc.

Rant
Recently around here a lot of people have written that the idea Autistics have Theory of Mind deficits is incorrect. This Aspie-Autistic has that issue and most people in the support group I attend have them it more as or more severe then I. With politicians I can tell motives fairly well I think. I am very poor with "It's just business" thinking. I have difficulty compartmentalizing, keeping business from personal separate and not bringing home to the office and visa versa.

I was lucky in that even in an era of no understanding of ASD I had the skills to understand myself enough to choose right type of job and to apply for positions in small companies. Back from 1985 to 1990 I choose a job where beyond being "professional" I did not have to fake it much was still liked. But back then there were choices available.

seems like all haters fit that description.

This is my first post here. I totally find myself surrounded by haters or people doing or saying things that I don't understand why their response is so harsh or nasty. Body language could be part of it, as someone said earlier, and I am trying to figure out what I could do to circumvent that.

Aunt Blabby mentioned having this experience often in the Army. I was also in the Army and can say the same. While the routine and social customs were great for me, there was a lot of other stuff I really didn't get and it seemed like I was always in trouble for not understanding people or doing stupid things or asking too many questions. Funny thing, I felt so dumb but got a very high score on the ASVAB. I admit that I have no idea if I have an ASD or not. I was very curious and seem to fit in well here, so I hope I can be welcomed in to this community either way. I'm 33. Thanks!

I have wondered the same thing. Other things involved in it too. Like in school, I was the last in line. Last to be picked. Back of the bus. Bullied and nothing was done. On and on. The closest definition I can find is a co-dependant. Attracting sociopathic, narcissistic people. That is not what I am, but for some reason, I am an attraction to that kind of behavior none the less.

I seem to be somewhere in the middle. People either love or hate me.
I always use to say i had a psycho magnet attached to me, because i attract some really strange, needy and energy draining people.
I'm really bad for trying to justify when haters attack me, telling myself its a projection of their own misery and end up feeling guilty for not liking them, or even to the extent of becoming really anxious as i think that perhaps my own behaviours is what caused the drama.
Then i switch to obsessively observing the haters behaviour to make sense of why they are the way they are!

That's me!
My husband has always wondered what has made me such a bully magnet.
The most ridiculous things have happened - some people have taken a strong dislike on me, in a way that only seems appropriate to be described as 'hatred'.
So relieved to realise I am not alone. Only found out 2 weeks ago I am an Aspie, so I had been looking in other (wrong) places for explanations.

Past couple of years I have finally attracted less haters - *knocks on wood*.
I don't know exactly why I have finally managed to rid bullies and haters out of my life, but it is probably a combination of the following:

*I started therapy with a therapist who specialises in self-esteem issues. I also started group therapy led by him. I believe this alone has made me much more confident in my own skin, so I became proud of being 'the odd one out' in life rather than interpreting in a negative, sub-normal way.

*I achieved something, for the first time in my life. I got public praise for it. This, I believe, not only helped my self-esteem but also made it harder for bullies and other as*holes to target me as vulnerable. In other words, as my social status has gotten from 'loser' to 'academic star', people respect me, and seem less likely to hate me for my quirks.

*I also take greater care these days in who I associate with. I have learned to be much more selective and that it's not my moral obligation to get on with people whose interests and worldview feel really shallow to me (ie NTs?). I've learned to not get myself drained by social interaction but accepted the fact that I am pretty much a recluse. This is made easier by my recent achievements, because I can pretend I am working on my projects whereas in fact I am just sitting alone at home in peace reading on whatever interest I happen to be obsessed with at any given time.

*I have accepted I'll never hold down a proper job, so am working towards earning a living by working from home. This helps greatly, because there's nothing worse than having to deal with bullying as*holes on a daily basis and not being able to avoid workplace power plays.

*Finally, by chance, I have met some lovely people over the past 3 years - many of whom are not aspies but are otherwise 'weird and different', so all of a sudden I don't feel such huge pressure to conform anymore, because I have found that my true peers are all original, nonconformist types. I don't socialise with them intensely but being aware of them and friends on facebook etc, and occasionally meeting for coffee or so, has been the hugest possible relief: these people do not judge!

From a healthcare worker's perspective, you probably get lumped in with the besserwissers. I see a lot of patients who want to argue with the doctors, and most of them have no idea what they are talking about or have decided beforehand what their diagnosis should be, what treatment/medication they need/are entitled to and do not want to accept anything else regardless of what their test results are or completely dismiss the doctors medical education and expertise they don't share. It is true that there are patients who really are experts of their own condition. Sometimes (in cases of rare medical conditions), the patient actually might have better/more current information than the doctor. I've met those patients. However in my experience this is the exception not the rule.

I think most people without a PhD don't know how to read and interpret research papers. Doctors don't assume you can, and neither would it be a very useful assumption to make as most patents can't. I can read and understand research in fields outside of my own, but I don't kid myself I know how to interpret and apply it. There's a reason why medical education is so long. There's a lot of background in physiology, cell biology, pharmacology etc. Having a creative intelligent brain is probably necessary, but not really sufficient condition for becoming an expert in the field of medicine. I'm not saying there aren't dismissive doctors and I'm not saying you don't know what you are talking about. I don't know what kind of education you have. My point is, neither does your doctor. But he's probably met a lot of other patients who claim to have "creative intelligent brains" and use this as a justification for dismissing his very real hard-earned expertise. Also I'm not saying you have to go to medical school to understand medical research, but make sure you do your homework.

Knowing this, please be prepared to communicate to your doctors what relevant expertise you have. Expecting doctors to treat you as a peer without letting them know of your medical background is not really fair. If you want to be "part of the team" you have to act part of the team--that means communication. Communication is a huge deal in patient care. In my experience some doctors and medical centers are more "patient as a member of the team" oriented, others less so. You might try shopping around, if it's possible for you.

Yes and it never ceases to hurt and impact me badly. Just tonight, someone in a group I got involved with real life, had a rant on my Facebook post I made about my difficulties deciding whether to accept an offer of a flat made to me ( I have been waiting for a uk council place for over 6 years and have been living in very damp conditions for those years) and whether it would be suitable as I will be there a living time.

She posted how she would take any flat offered to her and how she has to work her ass off just to afford a room and posted on her own wall that someone's status update has really angered her. My esteem is already very low, she knows this yet she basically ranted because I am trying to be careful about my future. And she has a house elsewhere too. It left me feeling as if I do not deserve to care where I live because I am not working currently due to mental health issues.

I've never been anything but kind to this person. Leaves me wanting to just drop all attempts to socialise real life as she runs the group I have been doing that with. A few others there have been very kind and supportive about it but I cannot get the sense of being somehow unlike able out of my mind now.

Same as a kid. I had one or two protective friends and the rest either bullied me or ignored me. Do people not consider how they can impact another's esteem? Do they not care?

Yup.

Random people, family members, you name it. When I was a teen, I wore my hair differently. People, usually other women would grimace and say things about me loud enough for me to hear. Now more women wear their hair like mine. I guess I was ahead of the curve!

Ive had random women say nasty things about my body. Ive had family members try to sabotage me and discourage me.

Ive had coworkers talk about me in front of me.

I can seem awkward and timid. Sometimes I play by my own rules. People dont like that.

Needless to say I go to great lengths to avoid people.

When I was in the younger years of my working life before I got into a niche position within my area of savant capability I always had a percentage, like 30%, of folks that just were pure as*holes. When I was younger and my temper was more explosive it was a perilous thing as I was as bigger usually stronger than any of my antagonists. I also saw them as morons and intellectually inferior and a nuisance. By the grace of god I never did anything bad. As my work status improved I was around less pepole and that made things much better. Now I am retired and I have a saying "Never leave the Castle" to mean I prefer staying home as any time out puts me in contact with unpleasant people again.

Oh boy, yes, especially after some of them dance to my tune. It's a badge I wear with pride in some circles.

I don't mind them though, I'm not out to win the hearts and minds of everybody and quite frankly I don't spend a calorie of energy worrying about people who don't like me. I don't owe them anything and pay them no mind.

Focus on the people you care about or need to protect instead and people with similar agendas to yours, not those that would like to kick you while you're down or troll and harass you in real life. If it goes beyond a certain tolerable point then get a supervisor or even the police involved, depending on the gravity.