I'm 32 but have low confidence on how I'd cope on my own

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abitclueless
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11 Apr 2015, 5:28 pm

Hello

This is my very first post in this part of WP, before now I don't think I've even been in here. So, I'm 32 but I still live at home. I was diagnosed with AS just over 5 years ago after having already received a diagnosis for a different non-physical disability when I had just turned 19 - this was after having suffered a serious health problem due to being stressed out. Things at home aren't what they used to be - there's a lack of happiness & stability. Plus I want to move out so that I can date someone without having to discuss every detail with my parents, (I've never been on a date). The difficulty I've had for years though is that I think I'd find independent living too much pressure & stress to cope with due to the increased workload having to be done within the same amount of time. Plus, for some strange reason I don't have the strong natural desire that most people have to learn it. I think I had it just before I became stressed out though as I was coming home after having just sat a morning exam during my A-levels & I was going to be alone in the house until after 5. Sometimes it would take me until just before my brother arrived home from work to actually bring myself to do it, (probably due to watching the computer/technology channel), but I was making my own lunch.

I started attending an Independent Living skills group, (cooking a main meal, shopping, & washing dishes), maybe about a month ago, which is run by my Autism keyworker who is a part-time Occupational Therapist. I've been there twice now & find chopping easy when I know how, & also enjoyable/therapeutic. This also applies to washing, (but not drying), dishes. At present my aim is to get to the point where I don't mind cooking a light lunch for myself & then move into Supported Living where I'll get help with my main meal & the rest of it. Once I'm there though I might go as far as I can go without getting too stressed. I have a meeting with my Care Manager on 21st, where I can talk about this.



kraftiekortie
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13 Apr 2015, 8:11 am

Why do you think you're bad at drying dishes?

Usually, when a person is good at washing dishes, drying them is a breeze--it's much easier!

If you're in supportive living, aren't you taking steps to get away from your parents? That way, you don't have to discuss every aspect of your love life with them.



izzeme
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13 Apr 2015, 9:03 am

supportive living is a good half-way step to living on your own.

i'd say you are well on your way to succeding; cooking and drying dishes are easier than you'd think, once you got the hang of it. all you need is someone to assist you while you try for yourself, supportive living provides that.



abitclueless
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17 Apr 2015, 4:16 pm

Sorry for the late reply, I had something on every day this week. Plus, even though I hadn't much on during Tuesday & Wednesday I had kept myself awake for most of an hour on Monday night/Tuesday morning (until I caught myself on), thinking enthusiastically about my future plans & how to get there & so was tired on Tues & Wed. Wednesday was also a very bad day in the house, we had a couple of domestics including a very bad one in the evening. Due to the fact that I'm 32 I'm thinking, "Am I finally going to get this sorted out?", hence the enthusiasm. I come back to this later on in this post.

kraftiekortie, I'm thorough with everything I do so I'm slow at drying dishes, I'm a self-confessed perfectionist. I'm currently still living at home so I'd have to tell my parents where I would be going & why, that's why I'm only looking for café dating atm as they're well used to me going to them. izzeme thanks, I hope I am well on my way to succeeding even though I only started the Independent Living skills group earlier on this year, (2015).

I was wanting to move into supported living around the age of 24/25 but with all the extra thinking I was on my way to a repeat of the stress-related health problem, which I suffered from when I was coming 19. Plus back then I tried coming off my medication, however when I was fighting with my parents all the time because they thought I was talking too much. However they made me an appointment & I was put back on my medication before it was too late. This time I'll either be on my medication or an effective alternative therapy. I have a care review on Tuesday so I'm going to see if there's a way I can move into supported living without getting stressed out again.