Ablism from spouse

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I love death metal. Female vocalists often make a lot of my favorite tracks. IMO intense metal is by & large a much more varied and individualized genre than just rock.

I imagine growling and screaming in a bikini would be really fun anyway. You should probably try that sometime...

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Im leaning towards being on your side now.

I think you have earned the right to be trusted.

Ditch that f****r. He's no good for you.

Hey,
Sorry you are going through this. Relationships shouldn't be adversarial, they should be built on mutual trust and love. Everyone who is advocating an adversarial response seems to be forgetting this and I would caution you to remember why you are with this person in the first place. Talk with him. Explain how you feel and how you are affected by the things he is saying. Work through the issues and come to a compromise. It doesn't have to be 'my way or the highway' and in a relationship compromise is especially important. Figure out your common ground and work toward a resolution you both can agree on. This can be especially challenging for us as it is often difficult (or even impossible) to see the other's point of view. This doesn't excuse us from making the effort, however, and it is the effort that is important. When both parties make the effort to see each others point of view and come to a consensus, the relationship is strengthened.
I hope you are able to work through this with your fiance.
Good luck and stay safe,

Thanks for the advice. Right now we are talking about it bit by bit, but the main issue is introducing it piece by piece so his emotional reactions don't overwhelm the entire discussion. I cannot handle strong emotion. He has relented about bikinis because I explained the difficulties re: sensory, and the early practice was a one-off thing, so he is fine with it now.

Moreover we went out to supper with my band's bass player and I mixed the two of them together over Taco Bell so my fiance trusts me more now.

Good idea they'll probably get along

I don't see ableism or much related to autism here, and I agree with the others who said your fiance is controlling.
He woudl probably act the same way if you were a neurotypical female.

I agree with everyone else that doesn't seem like ableism to me, but rather relationship issues.

I wouldn't normally suggest appeasing concerns about clothing such as bikinis, but if the only reason you want a 2 piece is convenience, there are many available which cover as much or more as a one piece. I personally love swim shorts for women and a 'tankini' top to do water related activities in. Saves you from having to tug the bottom down all the time.