How Do You Get People to Understand Sensory Sensitivities?
SoundOfRain
Blue Jay
Joined: 7 Jun 2011
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 97
Location: Hampshire, England, UK
As to not being believed, it's curious to me that spectrumites are the ones commonly described as 'self'ish or unable to understand the world from another's point of view, and yet with sensory problems we too often find that the majority of NTs do precisely that. Or are we only selfish for not understanding NTs, whereas it doesn't actually matter the other way round ?
Hmm. I'll go and have a cup of tea with my blissfully quiet smoke alarm still hanging in pieces from the ceiling and ponder the inexplicable one-sidedness of expectations.
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Exactly! Thanks for that
Explained here is the incapacity for some NTs to understand, or even take our word for it! They don't even see an alternative to themselves. We do. Because we know we aren't like NTs. I have taken so many NT people's word for things when actually they WERE being selfish and awkward and wanted luxury treatment. We find it hard to understand but finding something hard to understand isn't selfish. Not listening or taking someone's word for something over your own opinion is self-centred and that is true of many NTs. But NTs have weird social stuff going on so it allows and even encourages them to be small minded and selfish. No one encourages us to be selfish, anything but that! When I think of the hours and hours I've spent locked away worrying or trying and trying to get it right, and they probably spent 5 minutes coming up with a manipulative plan that didn't even involve doing right by me. Dear dear. I'm not bitter or sad anymore.. I just laugh. Only nice people in my life now, hooray
But getting back on subject. Yes.. How DO you have someone understand what sensory sensitivites are?
I have been mocked for them, and derided. When I've tried to explain that it hurts me I've been accused of making them out to be bad people for doing it to me. I never thought of it that way! It mystified me! I've been told Im too sensitive and there is something wrong with me. I also beleive they think I am an attention seeker. I live my life avoiding them where I can and bearing where I can't avoid them (sensitivites I mean. I have been told "there is something wrong with you".
My Mum does this fake concern thing which is actually about trying to guilt trip me into doing things her way. If she actually thought there was something wrong with me she'd have been committed to helping me and stop saying how much she gets ill. She's perfectly healthy, just obsessed with the details of my life. She complains about how much it hurts her that I'm not doing all this stuff she wants. So, another thing realted to this is, when I've complained that something sense related has PHYSIACLLY Hurt me, she complains in a larger way about how much SHE FEELS HURT BY ME, You can't get anywhere with that! I have never got it through to my family! lol
My family don't know I have asperger's and I'm not telling them! There horrid!
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Your Aspie score: 123 of 200. Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 86 of 200. You are very likely an Aspie
I find it hard sometimes because I only have hypersensitivity sometimes and I don't know when i have it I got some days I'm fine and some days the train pulling into the station is enough to out me on edge for hours
among the most anyoing times of my life an annoying teen on the train with a scratchy pants how insisted on brushing up against me every 15 seconds
The only time I have ever really had someone understand is my sister knows I wont follow her into a scented candle store or a make up shop.
There are a few people in at uni who have studied it as a phenomena but I never get the impression they can really get there head around it.
BigSnoopy126
Snowy Owl
Joined: 13 Feb 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 172
Location: 5 miles north of 5 miles south of me
I'm pretty good at drawing analogies, but I think this works better if you have someone willing to listen, so your mileage may vary.
When explaining autism in a speech to a small youth group (I was talking about an online friend and how I tried to be an example of Jesus in my compassion, giving of myself, etc.) I gave the following analogy which took maybe a minute.
I explained that everyone gets stimuli coming at them all the time - all the sights, sounds, and so on. I told the kids to think of this as water flowing from a drinking fountain. Most brains can filter it out so it comes out normal - if a person puts in earplugs they might stop all auditory senses. But, the brain knows to block out that annoying noise automatically or at least tone it down.
Then, I told them to picture this same fountain but with no controls, nothing to block anything. If you press on it even gently, the water shoots up to the ceiling. If you press on it hard, it squirts you like if a hose just threw a tidal wave at you.
That's what it's like for an autistic person, I said. Their braisn can't take in all the stimuli and decide which ones are important enough to pay attention to (the car cominga t you) and which ones aren't (the cat meowing a block away.)
They got the idea. But, as I say, they were interested in hearing what I had to say. And, I didn't get into the physical pain part because my AS isn't enough to cause that, so i don't understand it as well myself (it's so mild it's still not certain I have it). However, for that analogy, maybe you can mention the 2 smoke alarms thigns and how certain things would give them headaches after a while, and in the same way, that gushing water example holds true for what causes you to hurt.
As I say, your mileage may vary, but I saw this checkign on another thread I replied to and remember the analogy I used, and thought if I can help someone I will try.
I don't expect anyone to take me serious, that's why I take earplugs with me everywhere I go. I wear them most often at work and the worship service at church, but sometimes I'll wear them in a busy store, to give myself some distance. When people see me trying to cope like that, they may be more apt to see I'm really trying to deal with a real issue, but most probably think I'm just just eccentric, but that's okay with me. So my suggestion is ear plugs and sunglassess. And if they ask what's with the shades you can say dude, you keep opening the shades and it hurts my eyes. I'm like that guy on k-pax.
I certainly think there is a great lack of NT understanding on this issue. I know some of us can be ultra sensitive to certain things that NTs can't even notice. Unfortunately, they act like we are making things up. Just because they can't hear the light buzzing doesn't me it isn't, it just means they can't hear it, or aren't tuned into it. I can be very sensitive to sounds (very ironic, because I'm a musician). The 1st thing I do with new electronic devices is learn how to stop them from making sounds. I don't need them beeping every time I push a button. I don't want my computer beeping just because I received a new E-mail. Sometimes I just wear earplugs to block out the world.
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?No great art has ever been made without the artist having known danger? ~ Rainer Maria Rilke
The problem I think I have is there really is nothing to compere it to it is sort of like having your flight or flight response ticked off you feel edge and sick scratching on a black board having your headphones way to loud for a long time is also apt
but nothing really quite captures it.
And that is just explaining the feeling
The worst feeling I get is sort of like something clamps down on the nerves in the back of my neck. It's very unpleasant and makes me jump. I used to get it all the time when someone would lightly touch me from behind when I wasn't expecting it or if something surprised me. These days my reaction isn't so severe unless I'm already stressed out. I'm glad I don't react as strongly as I used to because people tend to shy away if you jump when touched. I actually like being touched, just not when I'm not expecting it.
Loud smells and repetitive sounds bother me, but not in such a startling way.
Anyway, I guess I dealt with it internally. In the past, everything was put down to allergies and many accommodations were/are made for me in that respect. I'm reluctant to ask for more unless I really have to.
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A hexagonal peg can go in a round hole or a square hole, but it never really fits.
I don't understand why they can't get it because they are capable of feeling it, just at higher levels of sound, light, whatever. Why can't they imagine what it would be like for them to have a flashlight in their face and how that would hurt? Or how having an air horn right next to their ear would hurt? If a person can be a little bit deaf and have a higher tolerance for loudness because of it, how come they can't imagine that someone could have BETTER hearing than them and therefore lower tolerance to loud noise? They can even experience the difficulty in concentrating part of it if they try imagining doing math on a white sheet of paper in full sun with air horns going off on either side. Am I totally off base here?
I was only diagnosed with asperger's last year, but have had light sensitivity my whole life.
my parents bought me sunglasses, then photochrome (photogrey) glasses that would turn dark in light, and people have for the most part let me be in environments with less, or different light conditions - even in school
in offices where i worked, co-workers were happy when i would give up window offices for interior ones i could control the lighting conditions in - they thought it was odd, but were fine
i have just told people that i have a light sensitivity and that at times it can cause me pain
nobody ever questioned it with me
it's about the only place i ever caught a break - i got beat up, disciplined, and taunted in pretty much every other area of life - but not on the light sensitivity
what is the reply of people you tell?
when you say "light at different intensities, or colours can hurt me or cause me headaches", what do they say?
literally, what are their exact words? there may be some way of reaching them
TheygoMew: thanks for the video
this is the email i sent to my co-habitant fiance with the link:
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subject: Good video depicting the difference in sensory inputs with autism spectrum
It is a little loud in the ASD part, so watch your volume
This is like my perceptions on an extreme day, but not my usual days
My usual days are brighter and louder, but not as bad as this video
I get this sort of thing when I am really upset and/or tired and or emotionally cranked
(link to video here [wrongplanet wouldn't include it as i have less than 5 posts])
Wow, holy shiz. I've never heard so many others talk about the same thing as what I go through...firstly. THANKS!! !. *breaths out heavily*
I have a question.....I am very non tolerant to shopping centers and things like movie cinemas and most of all...resturaunts.
These things are physically painfull and shattering for me- even though I try to fight it -. When my alert system tells me to "get out" I feels like an autonomic seizure. I get physical sensations in my head and feel kind of wonky as if my system is malfunctioning...its scary however as soon as I go to a calming place...it eases.
Does anyone else get anything like that?
I have a question.....I am very non tolerant to shopping centers and things like movie cinemas and most of all...resturaunts.
These things are physically painfull and shattering for me- even though I try to fight it -. When my alert system tells me to "get out" I feels like an autonomic seizure. I get physical sensations in my head and feel kind of wonky as if my system is malfunctioning...its scary however as soon as I go to a calming place...it eases.
Does anyone else get anything like that?
Phaerie, totally
crowds freak me out unless i am completely psyched to go in them. shopping is something i can only do for a few hours (3) at most and only if i am fully on my game. i usually have to go hide by myself after a shopping trip.
crowds and crowd noises cause me pain - literally
i can watch them, but not be in the middle of them.
one other thing i should note - i have a thing called Synesthesia - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synesthesia. my senses cross over. for me, under given light conditions i can smell colours. under given light conditions or stress conditions i can feel things i touch with my fingers on my tongue and taste them - or smell light conditions
the messed up sight input that occurs can change my perceptions and my emotional reactions as well
i remember how embarrassed i was when i first told my sister ic ould smell colours sometimes (even when i wasn't on acid), and she said "yeah, that's called synesthesia - i have that". i had hidden it since i was a child and my teachers and parents chided and derided me for saying i could smell colours and taste touch and that i saw patterns (i now liken them to the patterns/visualisations on windows media player) when music plays or i am doing something rhythmically (can sometimes mess up sex i'll tell you - having asperger's and suddenly having distracting patterns and colours appearing while you are going at it...)
blah, blah, blah
hope you are not feeling as alone in feeling that way anymore
_________________
"Your Aspie score: 172 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 51 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie"
Diagnosed 2010 at age 45
Asperger's and NVLD
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