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How Many Of You Live On Your Own?
I live on my own 72%  72%  [ 147 ]
I dont live on my own 28%  28%  [ 58 ]
Total votes : 205

Maerlyn138
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12 Apr 2012, 3:33 am

Joker wrote:
The like best thing ever about living on your own is that you can do what every you want and no one can say anything about it.


Exactly. After divorce #2 I vowed never again and have been living by myself now for 5 years and it's been great. Nobody bugs me to do stuff, I can do my exercises naked if I want. Take as long as I want to do dishes. I don't think I could live with someone again. I suppose I could be roomies in a large house with another Aspie; as long as we had our own distict areas.


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NicoleG
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12 Apr 2012, 11:46 pm

Maerlyn138 wrote:
I suppose I could be roomies in a large house with another Aspie; as long as we had our own distict areas.


My bedroom is my haven from my roommates. I'm actually working to get used to closing my door more often after 5 years of trying to be more approachable with them. I used to close off my bedroom all the time when I lived with my parents, and I had my own apartment when I was finishing college. Aside from not having washer/dryer available, I loved having a place all to myself. I like my roommates, but living with the Queen of Chaos all this time has taught me quite a lot regarding having patience towards your roommate/friend/landlord.

I really wish I had a music room. My piano had been left behind at my parents' house ever since I moved out, and I miss it terribly. I could bring it to the house, but I honestly don't want to deal with Mrs. Chaos regarding rules revolving around playing it. As it would be in one of the public spaces, she would have control and final say over it, and this is one area where I feel I'd probably finally explode at her if she tried to tell me what to do regarding my piano playing. Best keeping it "stored" at my parents' for now.



edgewaters
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15 Apr 2012, 11:55 am

When I was much younger, I lived on my own for about a year. It was great. I found I became far more functional. I seem to limit myself a lot when I'm living with people. I seem to always be working around them, even when they're not really preventing me from doing things. It just becomes a sort of habit. There's some sort of blockage, where I always find myself waiting for time to myself to be productive, even when there's no logical reason I couldn't do productive things when they're around (and I do, by sheer force of will, sometimes, but not with anything near the ease as when I have the place to myself).

I've been living with my girlfriend for the last 13 years, which has been very difficult. Financial circumstances prevent me from living on my own. But I would, if I could. It's not that I want to end the relationship per se, it's more a question of how much functionality I can afford to be sacrificing at this point in my life.



NicoleG
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16 Apr 2012, 10:02 am

edgewaters wrote:
I seem to limit myself a lot when I'm living with people. I seem to always be working around them, even when they're not really preventing me from doing things. It just becomes a sort of habit. There's some sort of blockage, where I always find myself waiting for time to myself to be productive, even when there's no logical reason I couldn't do productive things when they're around (and I do, by sheer force of will, sometimes, but not with anything near the ease as when I have the place to myself).


I can relate to this. Keeping my door to my bedroom open at home has been so I can hear what the roommates are doing and possibly be able to walk out into the living room and have a little social time with them on occasion, as I do like to be social and will get lonely if I don't interact with others (which is one of the pluses of having roommates for me). I also wanted to appear approachable to them, as I know that when they close off their areas they seem unapproachable to me. The problem, though, is that it's distracting in general, and what I've been doing over the past 5 years is paying much more attention to how they perceive me, what I should be saying, questioning if I'm being a good roommate, and making myself present even if I have nothing to add to their conversation, or it has nothing to do with me, or I'm not actually in the mindset to be social, etc. This effort-intensive exercise distracts me from my usual ability to focus on my own endeavors. Over time, I've been moving further and further away from my own comfort zone and placing way too much worry on what others are thinking and not enough effort into having time for myself and being productive. I know I've been pretty lazy for a while, but I'm starting to figure out how much of that comes from spending so much effort and energy on trying to be more social instead of letting the social interactions come more naturally. By this I mean, the social interactions with my roommates should have to work around my alone time and productivity, rather than my alone time and productivity having to work around my social stuff.

Hopefully that makes sense to others.



y-pod
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17 Apr 2012, 5:43 am

I lived on my own for a few years. Moved out at 22 and have never moved back with my parents, thank goodness (they're so difficult to live with). I've been married for 12 years and have 5 people to take care of right now. Wish I can live on my own sometime. Not sure how to vote. Is this a "can you live on your own" thing or just if you live with nobody else thing?


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redrobin62
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26 Apr 2012, 6:35 pm

I have such a long history of homelessness that I think I've been un-domiciled more than I've been domiciled. In any case, most of that time I was alone. i did pick up some friends here and there but they would all prove to be temporary. I've now been living alone in my apartment for about 6 years. Couldn't be happier.



ScottF
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01 May 2012, 9:33 pm

I live on my own but with assistance. Meaning my parents help pay bills and I have cleaning lady come by once a month to give my place that special touch. I have managed to get my old job back and am working about 30 hours a week. I have two cars, one for work and one is a hobby car.


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ghoti
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05 May 2012, 12:35 pm

Been alone most my adult life, except when I was taking care of my ailing mother.

But can't do that much longer due to financial circumstances.



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05 May 2012, 12:50 pm

I live on my own, much better for it too.

I lived with an ex and flatmate; they always quizzed me when I came home a little later than usual or if I went out with friends, if I brought friends home they got upset if my friends paid more attention to me than to them, they monitored my purchases so to complain that they couldn't afford anything nice so it was 'unfair' for me to buy anything (I was the only one working, so I was solely responsible for paying bills and buying food, but not allowed to spend on myself), and they never did their share of the work as they suffered from OCD and depression which meant they seemed to think they couldn't do housework and that I had no excuse for not doing the housework for them. :roll:

My [current] boyfriend will be moving in with me as soon as I get a job (we just can't afford it while I'm unemployed) which I'm sort of dreading as living with someone else requires so much patience, it means relinquishing a lot of control and having to adjust yourself to match someone else...when that someone else is ADHD like my boyfriend it takes far more patience. I'm also very secretive, I've nothing to hide but I need to be able to do things without other people knowing as well as come and go as I please without someone having to know where I am. Then there's my having to hide my more unusual stimming and hide my crying from him, which is going to be tough.


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J4mes
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08 May 2012, 5:06 am

I'm still living with the parental units. I really really want to move out but my poor brain can't comprehend such a big change.

I'm fast approaching 30 and I don't want to be one of those nerdy guys who lives with his parents until middle-age! Now if I could just learn how to save up then I'm sure I could afford to get a place... on my own of course, the thought of living with housemates, strangers even, scares the bejeezus out of me.



RobotGreenAlien2
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08 May 2012, 9:46 pm

The poll is a bit misleading. I live independently with two housemates.



Melina
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08 May 2012, 10:19 pm

I've been back on my own for nine months and I love it. Lived in dorms in college then apartments with roommates and it was not enjoyable. I freely admit that I am not easy to live with and do not always communicate well. Also, I hate conflict so instead of mentioning little problems I tend to bottle, seethe and eventually explode. Not a recipie for harmony. That being said, any conflict wasn't all my fault. The roommates were all human too and thus had their issues as well.
Then I moved back in with my parents as I was really struggling and the price was right. That also wasn't easy as I'm not the only less-than-skilled communicator in the family and it really made me feel like a total failure. Everything I owned was either in storage or crammed in my room, which was only fair as it was their home but still rankled. I give them a lot of credit and gratitude for allowing me to adopt first a cat and then a dog. Mom loves animals, Dad tolerates them but they're past wanting to live w/pets themselves, being in their late 70's/early 80's. They don't always get me but they got that I need animals. What was the worst for me was trying to carve out decompression space. I repeated tried to politly explain to Mom that I really need to just unwind when I get home from work. 'I would love to talk to you too, but I really need to relax and shower first, okay?' She always said she understood but every day I got home and walked into a wall of words. Aaaaarrrgh.
After four years of this I'm finally in my own place again. Meals are when I'm hungry. I don't feel the need to explain myself. A kitten I'm fostering in the spare room is 'helping' me type this. The down side is that I'm even more isolated now as I'm not forced to have contact with anyone at home so really only see people at work but overall it's a very good thing.



NicoleG
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09 May 2012, 7:38 pm

Melina wrote:
The down side is that I'm even more isolated now as I'm not forced to have contact with anyone at home so really only see people at work but overall it's a very good thing.


I had my own place for about 3/4 of a year, and it was not long enough for me to feel lonely as I was on a school campus and made friends with my neighbors and classmates. I'm planning to get my own place again, after living with friends for the past 5 years, and I'm worried that owning my own home away from people is going to cause me to get lonely. Then again, it may be what I need to start focusing better on some projects I've been putting off and getting me out of the house to go visit people. We'll see.



Sainrith
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09 May 2012, 11:14 pm

I have found that living alone and being self-employed has allowed me to build a world that is easier to manage. Environmental stress used to shut me down beyond what the weekend would allow for recovery.


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DogOfJudah
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10 May 2012, 2:38 am

I've lived independently for 7 years and havn't regretted a single second, took me a while to get my head around paying bills on time tho, because I couldn't organise an orgy in a sex dungeon.



NicoleG
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10 May 2012, 8:10 am

DogOfJudah wrote:
I've lived independently for 7 years and havn't regretted a single second, took me a while to get my head around paying bills on time tho, because I couldn't organise an orgy in a sex dungeon.


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