Page 1 of 1 [ 3 posts ] 

puddingmouse
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,777
Location: Cottonopolis

20 Oct 2013, 5:20 pm

I'd like to ask anyone here who has found someone who is 'right' (as in very compatible) for them if they felt luckier than ever when it happened. This has happened to me in the last few months and I've never felt more grateful to the whims of chance than ever.

Thinking about it logically though, people meet very compatible partners all the time, so the chance of it happening to me wasn't exactly tiny once I'd reached a certain level of maturity. Yet it feels like I've won a jackpot. Logically, there are many, many ways in which I am lucky like this alignment of factors:

1. Having enough to eat.
2. Having somewhere to live.
3. Having parents who love me.
4. Having been born in the 20th century.
5. Having been born as a woman in the 20th century in a Western country and in a religion I was allowed to leave (this is actually something I thank my stars for every day, but it still doesn't make me feel as grateful as having found a grown-up relationship.)
6. Having a job (this is a mixed blessing, but it's still a stroke of luck in my circumstances compared to not having one.)
7. Not being more disabled than I currently am (this will change if I live into old age, but I try to accept that.)

The fact that all of these things happened for me at birth and have continued to be in place for my whole life is incredible.

Having found love in an adult way beats all of these in my mind. I'm wondering is it because I've not had it before, so the experience of going without made me appreciate it more? Is it because I'm a certain type of person, i.e. someone who needs to love as a raison d'etre? Is it hierarchy of needs thing?

How did it feel for you?


_________________
Zombies, zombies will tear us apart...again.


stardraigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 May 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 744

21 Oct 2013, 8:15 am

I haven't been lucky in love, and I think I need to do something about it, but I have no idea what.

But I've been extremely lucky with my family relations, and with work & money.

My family for the most part is very supportive or tolerant of me. And I've never had an issue with getting work once I overcome my AS in the moment to get out there and find it. The best example I can think of is the job that got me here to the state I live in now. It was a series of events that I've been told weren't supposed to happen, wouldn't normally happen, and have not happened for anyone else since. I haven't f****d it up to bad so I'm still here.

What helps I think with luck is just putting yourself out in the world. I used to be a shut-in. I couldn't talk to anyone, or do anything by myself. If not literally, I had to metaphorically speaking, have someone hold my hand out in the world. Once I got over that, and could go places, and do things around others without someone being a filter, I could meet people, discover new things, and have luck happen in what I did. Basically, I've found that if you don't do anything, for the most part you don't experience luck.


_________________
Hell is other people ~ Sartre

My Blog
Deviantart Page


puddingmouse
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,777
Location: Cottonopolis

22 Oct 2013, 6:14 am

I find that it's possible to be in a situation where you are out in the world, but it's in the wrong places. It takes courage to say, 'I'm going to change these circumstances where I am trying but nothing good is happening.'

Also, you need to be fearless to a degree when you are out in the world in order to recognise opportunities, or you will be too scared to take them.


_________________
Zombies, zombies will tear us apart...again.