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gypsyrose
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23 Dec 2008, 6:22 pm

I thought I was the only one.

Everyday life can be a handful. After work I go on the Internet or watch TV to destress...I just can't handle people because dealing with them all day at work is draining.

Things like car maintenance, getting to work ontime, etc. seem to be no-brainers for most people. For me, they're a challenge. Why? What is so HARD about it, I ask myself. Good grief. Sometimes I let things go, like housekeeping, because it's just too much. What is so hard about pushing a broom around, I ask myself. (maybe since I clean up after people all day at work...)

For awhile now I've kept Rescue Remedy in my purse just in case. Sometimes I need it just to help me cope with people and situations at work. It seems to help me mellow out. Thank God for it...otherwise I'd be on Ativan or something.



Evenflowman454
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23 Dec 2008, 7:46 pm

yes I can get overwhelmed easily.

Make this a poll and see what other people say on that.


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ignisfatuus
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23 Dec 2008, 9:10 pm

I too become quickly overwhelmed over matters that others negotiate with only a little trouble. Once I shut down, that's it, I drop everything and cut all ties. It has absolutely nothing to do with "having it easy" or any other BS narrative observers use to aggrandize their pathetic sense of self.

The trait of resiliency does interest me though.


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Shadow50
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23 Dec 2008, 10:30 pm

Typpies get this too, not just us. Look at the number of time management and like courses available.

I find planning ahead and making a checklist helps.

And remember how to eat an elephant ... one bite at a time.


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chamoisee
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23 Dec 2008, 11:16 pm

I am, but with gradual pushing of my limits, I have been able to expand them...slowly.



itw
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24 Dec 2008, 12:15 pm

gypsyrose wrote:
I thought I was the only one.

Everyday life can be a handful. After work I go on the Internet or watch TV to destress...I just can't handle people because dealing with them all day at work is draining.

Things like car maintenance, getting to work ontime, etc. seem to be no-brainers for most people. For me, they're a challenge. Why? What is so HARD about it, I ask myself. Good grief. Sometimes I let things go, like housekeeping, because it's just too much. What is so hard about pushing a broom around, I ask myself. (maybe since I clean up after people all day at work...)

For awhile now I've kept Rescue Remedy in my purse just in case. Sometimes I need it just to help me cope with people and situations at work. It seems to help me mellow out. Thank God for it...otherwise I'd be on Ativan or something.


What is Rescue Remedy? I take ativan when things get really bad.



ignisfatuus
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24 Dec 2008, 3:25 pm

Quote:
And remember how to eat an elephant ... one bite at a time.


Haha, I like that. I do tend to focus on a way bigger picture than necessary and become frustrated as a result of it.


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ablomov
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25 Dec 2008, 5:27 pm

Yes, anger and total frustrationa tthe simplest of domestic chores , yet gardening Iam better (tho two year web addiction has cut that to near zero yet today Xmas day I went into garden for two hours - a great step forward) and at work (skilled / gifted self employed mechanical) I am okay. Life can be hellish for me with an endlessly playing internal maelstrom. Anyone?



newnoz
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27 Dec 2008, 7:59 am

itw wrote:
I seem to get easily overwhelmed with things going on in my life. That (and the social phobia) is what causes a lot of my anxiety. I recently quit my part-time job and am a full-time mom/wife. I've been doing home maintenance that has been put on hold for a while and it seems other things keep piling up. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with it all that I shut down or have melt downs. I'm sure I'm not the only one. I just know that all the NT's I know think I have it very easy.


I don't know what it is but i have the same experience. I'm 56 and no longer a mom work wise but holding down more than a part time job is hard for me. I'm not enamored with housework though. I will do all sorts of other things like cooking and baking and gardening happily but i find myself not doing them cause i am trying to force myself to do the miserable dishes first. I'm a champion procrastinator at home. i like the structure of work but i haven't the stamina and some days i'm just useless. other days i'm too stressed to do a good job. Also i beat myself up if i don't do a good job. Is perfectionism part of all this?

I just try to keep from meltdown mostly. I haven't a clue how i managed to raise my kids. the fact that they won't talk to me right now may give you a clue.

On the other hand some things that used to set me off no longer does. I think i'm making progress but it never seems like it is enough for some other people.

Take care, Nora



itw
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27 Dec 2008, 6:46 pm

newnoz wrote:
itw wrote:
I seem to get easily overwhelmed with things going on in my life. That (and the social phobia) is what causes a lot of my anxiety. I recently quit my part-time job and am a full-time mom/wife. I've been doing home maintenance that has been put on hold for a while and it seems other things keep piling up. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with it all that I shut down or have melt downs. I'm sure I'm not the only one. I just know that all the NT's I know think I have it very easy.


I don't know what it is but i have the same experience. I'm 56 and no longer a mom work wise but holding down more than a part time job is hard for me. I'm not enamored with housework though. I will do all sorts of other things like cooking and baking and gardening happily but i find myself not doing them cause i am trying to force myself to do the miserable dishes first. I'm a champion procrastinator at home. i like the structure of work but i haven't the stamina and some days i'm just useless. other days i'm too stressed to do a good job. Also i beat myself up if i don't do a good job. Is perfectionism part of all this?

I just try to keep from meltdown mostly. I haven't a clue how i managed to raise my kids. the fact that they won't talk to me right now may give you a clue.
On the other hand some things that used to set me off no longer does. I think i'm making progress but it never seems like it is enough for some other people.

Take care, Nora


itw wrote:
I'm 48 and have 2 teenagers that are NT. My husband's a NT and very extroverted. He deals with most of the kid stuff. I'd be an awful mother on my own. Unfortunately, our house is a central hub so all their friends want to congregate at our house. I find myself taking more and more lorazapam (avidan? spelling?) just to deal with the constant stream of kids at our house. When it gets really bad, I go to my bedroom and read with earplugs in. My oldest is a senior in high school and wants to go to college across the state so, that will cut down on all his friends coming over. I'll miss him, though. Both my kids are pretty good. They know when it's getting to be too much for me and suggest going somewhere else.



gypsyrose
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28 Dec 2008, 3:43 pm

itw,
Rescue Remedy is a homeopathic blend (it's one of Bach Flower Essences products). It comes in several forms, but I carry the little bottle that has a dropper in it. When I get anxious I put a dropperful under my tongue and that's it. I'm on my way. I can feel myself calm down in about five minutes. (I wouldn't recommend it for SEVERE anxiety, but for most situations, it should be okay. If I have trouble sleeping, sometimes I take a dose to help me settle in.

I've found Rescue Remedy at GNC stores as well as health food stores, and it's on the Internet.
It's safe with medications, too. Sometimes people give it to their pets by putting a few drops in their water.



itw
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28 Dec 2008, 4:40 pm

thank you gypsyrose. I'll have to try it out.



newnoz
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29 Dec 2008, 6:26 am

how do you remember to take it when you are in a melt down?
Nora



Waiver
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27 Feb 2011, 1:04 pm

I am a single woman in early 30s, and I find that simple tasks will paralyze me. I've never been diagnosed with autism or any similar disorder. But I've been to counseling the only thing which I've ever had is talk therapy. The only real diagnosis I've ever received is that I simply worry too much. Although that is not a real answer or solution to what I've been struggling with for over 20 years. I was always withdraw as a child, and felt extremely overprotected. I'm also a highly sensitive person. I will freeze and find it hard to complete projects or tasks. I become very anxious when making decisions at work or school. Things which everyone else brushes off, will overwhelm me and stress me out quite a bit. I struggle to feel confident and relaxed and I feel ashamed because of this. I don't get as much done or am not as productive as I could be because I am constantly worried about how I'm seen or how I'm being evaluated by everyone around me especially in a professional environment. Tasks take me longer to complete than they do for anyone else. And I worry that I'm simply being tolerated by everyone around me rather than being seen as competent and capable. I think I sometimes judge myself too harshly but I am concerned that I shouldn't be feeling so overwhelmed. I have some social anxiety when around groups or crowds, and experience high anxiety when I'm the center of attention or I'm in the spotlight or on display. But my life is by no means difficult compared to most. I have a very supportive and loving family, but I don't think they truly understand how overwhelmed I am sometimes.

Does this composite of traits sound familiar to anyone?



RedHanrahan
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27 Feb 2011, 3:52 pm

I get over stimulated by certain things in my environment and this then leads to coping issues. However I am fine otherwise, possibly a little over regimented for most people in my daily routines and easily irritated by intrusions on these but I tend to be content around home and deal with 'maintaining' myself - executive functionality?.

I have found workplace overstimulation an ongoing problem because I am a working class/blue collar semi skilled worker and most environments are noisy, smelly and busy, then add the taking things literally/lack of social intuition/empathy and I start to tweak out.

I am lucky to live in a society with a compassionate welfare system but even then I have ended up so tweaked out that it has led to violence, substance abuse and other self destructive behavior as well as occaisional homelessness.

The Psychologist who confirmed my self diagnosis sugested that a small rural community would be the most appropriate environment for me to live in and in terms of the overstimulation issue I agree, but due to other considerations I don't see this happening or if it did working out. Ironically I currently live in the very heart of the Wellington CBD.

I get the impression these are issues consistent to living with Aspergers.

peace j


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itw
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27 Feb 2011, 5:13 pm

Getting overstimulated so easily is definitely an Aspie trait. My NT acquaintances are always telling me that they experience the same things I do but, with any autistic spectrum disorder, it's the degree to which this happens. Everyone gets overwhelmed but I find myself overwhelmed most of the time. It doesn't take much and I do believe it's an Aspie trait.

Waiver, you might want to investigate the possibility of having Aspergers. Have you taken the "Asperger Quotient" test? You can take it online - just google "asperger quotient test" and take the test that "Wired" has: http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html Do your own scoring because if you let them calculate it, it will always come up with 24. I had several people take it and when everyone was coming up with a score of 24, we became suspicious. :)

RedHanrahan, I've also been through the drug and self destructive behavior thing. I was definitely self medicating and was always frustrated when it wasn't working. I am now on Lamotrigine which helps me a lot. I stopped the drug and alcohol thing more than 20 years ago (I'm 50) and I found that the depression and anxiety was unbearable even with legal drugs (antidepressants). It wasn't until a friend's grandchild was diagnosed that I started looking into Asperger's. It took forever and a lot of work on my part to get my doc's to get onboard with the diagnoses and then they finally started trying other drugs that might help me.

Hope this helps.