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Snowy Owl
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10 Nov 2014, 3:01 pm

Ok so the blog post I will link to below really irritated me. So did the deleting of my counter comments on a facebook page autism advocacy group, I made the points I will make below on The Thinking Persons Guid to autism face book page and well apparently dissent is not tolerated and needed to be censored.

So the blog post below seeks to highlight a very real problem. Namely that the media tends to make excuses for the killing of disabled kids. This is a distressing and worrying phenomona that definitely does happen. We call know the story. The poor old mother, was over burdened by her terrible autistic son and suffered a break down. Poor her! isn't it terrible she didn't get the help she needed blah blah blah Poor woman. Were as when its an NT kid the media is shouting about what a vile monster the mother is. We all know this biased reporting happens and its utterly maddening.

But what pissed me off about the blog post below was that it took two completely different stories and tried to highlight this point
One was the murder of of an autistic boy who's mother pushed him off a bridge. The other was the story of a couple who tortured their 3 year old boy to death and also tortured their 6 year old kid (who survived)

The media did give undue sympathy to the mother of the autistic kid and they did utterly vilify the torturers. But I really don't see that this difference had much to do with the autism in this particular case. Surely it was the torture that was the main differential here? Its one thing pushing ones son off a bridge, totally horrific and evil I agree but child abuse and torture is a whole other level of evil. Not all murders are equal and cases of child torture will of course get a stronger negative reaction from the media because its just a more disgusting crime. Torture shows a clear sadistic intent particualrly when it is a couple involved who are both torturing their kids. And this highlights another point of difference. The media also is often unfairly favorable to maternal infanticide in general where as paternal infanticide is covered far more harshly. Mothers who murder are often given more sympathetic coverage than fathers who do the same and this is regardless of any disabilities present in the kids. The reasons for this inequality are complex and probably to do with the fact that our society is still quite misogynistic and views women as being a bit weak and helpless, so we tend to forgive their "moments of madness" and make excuses for them. We can't quite seem to concieve that women are just as capable of being evil monsters as men are.

My main point is that if we are going to highlight a genuine issue then make good comparisons. There are plenty to choose from. But don't pick a story of the utmost evil child torture and compare it to a child being pushed of a bridge. The reason for the differential in the media coverage was the fact that one case was objectively more vile than the other. It had little to do with the autism in this case.

http://sonnolenta.com/2014/11/07/a-tale-of-two-murders/



PlainsAspie
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10 Nov 2014, 3:40 pm

You're right that the argument is weak when comparing the coverage of two fillicides that are different in more ways than autism. The thing is, I don't know of any white NT fillicide victim whose perpetrators were defended by the media.

I think what we should learn from this story is take comments about killing children seriously. cough cough Alison Singer



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11 Nov 2014, 8:42 am

its true,people like cassie anthony,susan smith or andrea yates are viewed as monsters whereas mothers who kill autistic children get much more sympathy.

its a bizzare phenominon


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PlainsAspie
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11 Nov 2014, 10:36 am

vermontsavant wrote:
its true,people like cassie anthony,susan smith or andrea yates are viewed as monsters whereas mothers who kill autistic children get much more sympathy.

its a bizzare phenominon


Andrea Yates is a good example. She was ruled mentally ill, but still convicted in the court of public opinion.



evilreligion
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12 Nov 2014, 4:15 am

vermontsavant wrote:
its true,people like cassie anthony,susan smith or andrea yates are viewed as monsters whereas mothers who kill autistic children get much more sympathy.

its a bizzare phenominon


Indeed and it was these cases that the blogger should have used as a comparison!!



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12 Nov 2014, 10:06 am

When Andrea Yates killed her children, she was painted as a monster and her own illness was glossed over. But she was eventually found not guilty and was taken to a hospital instead where she resides.

When Susan Smith killed her kids, her illness was also glossed over and she was painted as a monster. She is still locked away and they said she would seek treatment there. She was also suicidal and was going to kill herself and she didn't want her sons to live without a mother so she rolled her car into the lake and got out of the car at the last minute. Then she regretted what she did. Honestly reading My daughter Susan Smith written by her mother made me feel less sorry for David and made me think he didn't deserve his sons but they still didn't deserve to die and I thought he was a hypocrite. he was a dead beat dad and abusive to his wife and he stalked her and it rove her into what she did so I think he is culpable for his sons' death and have no sympathy for him. The media made him look good like he was a loving husband and father and how he loved his sons so much.

When Christina Riggs killed her kids, she was also painted as a monster and her illness was also glossed over. She wouldn't allow her judge to tell everyone in court she seeked capital punishment because she was suicidal (she attempted suicide after killing her children because she didn't want them to be separated due to having different dads) so she was executed after being sentenced to death.


It's rare when people with mental illnesses kill their kids and these women were in the minority. I do feel sorry for them all but I still think they shouldn't have killed their children. But they all loved them and thought murdering them was the answer. Lot of moms want to do what is best for them and some apparently think killing them is the best which in my opinion is a sickness because they don't do it out of cold blood.

I feel sorry for any parent that kills their kid due to stress or an illness and it doesn't matter if the kid was disabled or not. But I think it's ridiculous how you need to have a child with a disability to have sympathy if you kill them.

Oh and I thought the kid being thrown off the bridge vs the three year old boy being tortured to death. I saw a huge difference and they were not the same because the three year old was abused before he got killed while the 6 year old was loved and wasn't abused until the last minute when he got thrown off the bridge and what was all he got while the three year old got torture. I didn't think it was because he was autistic, I just thought people are more outraged about the murder of the three year old because of the abuse he had to suffer for months before his death. I was disagreeing with the blogger until she wrote how peoples opinions changed when they finally mentioned the 6 year old was autistic. Yeah there is something wrong there. I am seeing it's politically incorrect to be a stressed out mom with normal kids but it's more PC to be stressed out with special needs kids.


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12 Nov 2014, 2:40 pm

The mainstream media attempts to appeal to the lowest common denominator. Consequently the stories are oversimplified, lack nuance, and often offer damaging and misleading explanations for things that, in reality, don't have a simple answer.

The idea that having a kid with autism could drive a parent to murder seems ridiculous to smart people like you or me but when that's the angle of a news story, the majority of viewers will simply believe it to be true.


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14 Nov 2014, 9:03 am

I think that what makes me angry about it is that people who kill "normal" kids are vilified, but people who kill "special needs" kids are pitied and almost sainted.

The BIGGER problem is a common thread between the two. Namely the question I keep screaming into the vacuum of the argument: WHERE THE HELL IS THE SUPPORT????

Where was the person, or people, who could have been there to hold Andrea Yates's hand until she believed that she and her children were not Satan-touched, broken things that God could never love (the reason she gave for killing them-- that she wanted them to die while they would still get a free pass into the Kingdom of God)???

Where was the person, or people, who could have helped Susan Smith see through the BS, see herself as a worthwhile person, and figure out how she was going to raise those boys on her own???

Where are the people who can tell the parents of autistic kids, Downs kids, kids with CP, kids with spina bifida, kids with ADHD, kids with ID, good kids who are just a little more imperfect or imperfect in different ways from 'normal' kids that, "Hey, yes, your child is odd. Your child is different. Your child can't do some things that my child can do, but YOUR CHILD HAS VALUE. Your child has value, your child has a place. You have value, you have a place, you will not lose that value and that place because of your child. I will take you, and your child, as you are. We will take them as they are. We will value them, and we will find a way for them to contribute."

Is this really so difficult???? We live the easiest lives of any people in recorded history, in the richest times of any times in recorded history, with the most resources in recorded history. Is this really so difficult????


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15 Nov 2014, 3:10 pm

It is so difficult, because humans are so utterly and deeply flawed. Our world may actually become more barbaric as technology progresses. Just think of how terrible WWI and WWII were compared to any wars before. In the 20th century the world suddenly became exponentially more gruesome. So it seems that the advantages we enjoy have little to do with it. We will always victimize someone, always excuse something inexcusable. There is no justice to be had here or any real sense to be made of it, merely recurring patterns. I predict that the modern attitude towards infanticide will become more and more casual.


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15 Nov 2014, 3:49 pm

BuyerBeware wrote:

Where was the person, or people, who could have been there to hold Andrea Yates's hand until she believed that she and her children were not Satan-touched, broken things that God could never love (the reason she gave for killing them-- that she wanted them to die while they would still get a free pass into the Kingdom of God)???


They had social workers involved and her husband (Rusty I think his name was) was told to not leave her alone with their kids. One day he had to go to work and he left her alone with them and within an hour she already drowned them. I think he was culpable for their deaths because he is the one who kept taking her off the pills only to get her pregnant again because he wanted more kids and she had postpartum psychosis every time and they should have stopped after two kids IMO but he kept making her quit taking her medication so she can get pregnant again. No wonder he forgave her for killing them, he screwed up. It's easy to say she was just as responsible since she could have said no and refused to stop taking the medicine and refused to have more kids since it was her body but people with mental illnesses don't think like us, their logic is off. I am sure she misses her kids and regrets what she did.

BuyerBeware wrote:
Where was the person, or people, who could have helped Susan Smith see through the BS, see herself as a worthwhile person, and figure out how she was going to raise those boys on her own???


She had support from her family and they kept telling her to get away from David because he was a bad man but she refused. No one ever thought she would harm her children because she was a good mother and loved them dearly and they still supported her after they knew she killed them but they all missed those boys. That is why she didn't get capital punishment because no one wanted her to get it. I think she may have gotten a lighter sentence or something if her family had gotten a lawyer from the beginning instead of trying to handle it themselves and defend her. No wonder Susan is seen as a victim by some people and why she gets letters in prison from "friends." She does miss her boys and regrets what she did but also looks on the bright side and believes god is looking after them.

Is it just me or do people with mental illnesses always bring god into this? They all seem to say their kids are better off in heaven and god is taking care of them yadda yadda. I remember the time when a 39 year old mother hit her sons over their head with rocks and the youngest lived but suffered brain damage and the older two died and she said god told her to do it. She was found not guilty due to insanity. Her husband also supported her.

It's so controversial to bring mental illnesses into this and blame it on it. Yes people with mental illnesses don't normally commit violent crimes but in rare cases, it does contribute to it and it leads to the stigma because that is all what we hear in the media about mental illnesses when one commits a crime. Then people get mad about it and act like they knew better and they knew what they were doing and are just playing the insanity card and just saying this or that about god for sympathy and they also get mad when anyone says the killer was ill. No one wants a child to get hurt, no one so most peoples sympathy goes out the window when someone harms a child. But yet when you feel sorry for the killer, you are seen just as bad as them.

I also read that 70% of the US prison population all have mental illnesses or learning disabilities. But when you look at the US population and at the US prison population, the number is low.


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Moromillas
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18 Nov 2014, 7:57 pm

It's just another side effect of the vile stigmas.

Those that know the truth, also know that having an Autistic child isn't enough to make parents murder their kids, that the concept is far from the realm of sane.

When they (incorrectly) think of them as defective or damaged children, that they are such a great burden, it then becomes easy to reason and excuse their crimes away.