Another article says autistics are better off dead

Post Reply New Topic

http://www.mlive.com/news/kalamazoo/ind ... crash.html

Two words, Deeply wrong.

The value of a person with autism is the same as that of a NT, the police and the DA should ignore the neurology of the little girl and treat it as a possible case of "causing death by dangerous driving" or whatever they call that sort of thing in the USA.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

They aren't saying autistic people should be dead. They're trying to help the driver who killed her feel better, because it was a terrible accident and they know that, and trying to help themselves feel better too. It's routine for people to say of the dead that they're in a better place.

Probably she and her family did struggle quite a lot with autism. Not that they wanted her to die, but they're looking for silver linings now. They would probably have said something similar if the girl's widowed and grief-ridden grandpa had been in the front seat, that he had struggled ever since his wife died five years ago. They would say, he is released from that struggle.

In other words, it isn't about you and they aren't meaning to say bad things about autistic people.

Well I still think that "released from autism" is a deeply wrong, offensive and horrible thing to say

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Attempts to make someone feel better about a tragic mistake should be made without devaluing others.

Perhaps they did struggle, I'm not here to say they didn't.

When that mindset is promoted, we end up with with all autistic lives being devalued. Nobody lives in a vacuum, you can't dehumanize one person because of their autism without dehumanizing all autistics

I don't have the answer. Thinking though and worried that when any one of us complains about how hard things are, we might be inadvertantly adding to this way of thinking.

I don't know within the context I am not so sure the family is trying to give the message that their child is better off dead. A lot of times when people die people try to make the best of it as a psychological coping mechanism. It's weird but seems like that could be what is going on here....As for the driver, if it was truly an accident forgiving him does make more sense, and is a pretty mature thing to do since that was their kid. I mean imagine if you were in an accident and ended up killing someones kid, obviously that would be quite hard to deal with, I imagine the guilt would be crushing.

Then again I only have second hand info provided by the article, maybe her parents are sick people....but its also not uncommon for greiving people to try and find some light in the dark so to speak. When a girl died at my school some people said she got to enjoy her time here and maybe in dying missed out on some negative experiences(thought it was kinda silly, but they weren't trying to be disrespectful or say they where glad just trying to rationalize/deal with it in their minds I think). If the parents attitude was they were glad she died then I don't see why the article goes on to mention good things the family said about her.

When my cat died, my mom said she had lived a good life. When my grandparents died, my parents said they both lived a good life. When I read that one mother died, I forget who the little girls' name was who was found murdered in her home on Dec. 25th 1996 and the parents got blamed for it, it affected the mother's health and I think both parents were divorced because the murder of their child tore them apart and I felt relief when i read the mother passed away because she was released from the pain and from the pain from people thinking she killed her daughter and now she was with her. When my great uncle died, my mom felt relieved because he was released from the pain he was in, he had cancer so he was in chronic pain.

People try to think positive of bad situations and make the best of it to cope. They were only talking about her daughter, they didn't say anything about other autistic people, only their daughter. People need to stop thinking someone is talking about everyone with a condition when they are only talking about one person with it. The irony I saw in the article was when I was in 6th grade, I thought I would be better off dead because I was suffering from emotional pain and I was depressed and I hated being different so if I were to die that year, I would be released from the pain and suffering. no I am not saying other people who are different are all better off dead and should be dead, I am only speaking of myself.

Autistic people are not the only ones that have need to live by the dictum "it's an explanation not an excuse". Whatever the intent it was a utterly horrific thing to say. If in the future when things calm down a bit these parents need retract and apologize for the ASD part of the statement. I would forgive them for it as I do quite understand things coming out wrong at times of stress. The retraction and apology needs to be unequivocal.

It is offensive, ignorant, and unconscionable. Whether this was the conscious intent or not is irrelevant.

I agree with this response posted on the comments section beneath the article:


Quoted comment:
This is such irresponsible writing. To publish a piece that essentially indicates that the family of this beautiful child thought her death was ostensibly okay because she was autistic is so offensive to many people who are autistic. People who are on the autism spectrum have lives that are meaningful. To suggest that death is preferable or some kind of release, particularly when we see parents and other caregivers killing their autistic children, is reckless. As a parent of a daughter on the spectrum and a professional who works with many, many people on the spectrum, I am outraged that the reporter did not talk to one autistic person or present any other viewpoint rather than just quote a neighbor. I really doubt a loving family would appreciate having their daughter's death characterized this was, and I guarantee that folks on the spectrum overwhelmingly object to this approach.