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monkyingaround
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21 Nov 2014, 12:51 am

So, a few hours ago, I finally told my mom what I've been meaning to tell her for a month or two now: that I think I am genderfluid. While she's normally a really accepting person, this didn't go that great. She's convinced I've been 'brainwashed by hipster sites,' and I don't think she understands the concept of moving between genders, or really anything outside the binary unless you are born physically that way. Does anyone have any advice on how to explain to her that this is a real thing, not just me trying to be "different?"


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Magneto
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21 Nov 2014, 5:39 am

What do you mean by genderfluid? That your identity changes, from being a man to being a woman and back, or something different?



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24 Nov 2014, 10:00 am

You have to keep in mind that your parents are going to want whats best for you, and that's likely to be what they believe remaining your birth gender is. Do some research and find a way to convince her that being gender fluid is whats best for you. I never like to bring up suicide, but the rates of suicide among the trans communicate is around forty percent, that's way up there. My mother wasn't happy when I came out as trans, but then my sister revealed the suicide rates and my mother basically said this:
"Your going to have a hard life this way, but I know you've been depressed your whole life, and I'd rather have a trans daughter than a dead son."
Don't make it seem like your suicidal if your not; it's just an example of how you can show her this is whats best for you. If you do bring up the suicide rates, do so casually as not to create an argument. It's screwed up, but when a child brings up suicide parents often think it's for attention, so unless you are suicidal do research and see if you can find anything else. Good luck.



serenaserenaserena
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28 Nov 2014, 6:59 pm

Magneto wrote:
What do you mean by genderfluid? That your identity changes, from being a man to being a woman and back, or something different?


genderfluid is a type of genderqueer where you see gender as more of a fluid type thing rather than a spectrum, where you change between feeling in the middle or in the middle with a pint of feminine or masculine with some feminine etc or some don't even "change" per say and just feel like parts of your gender are feminine maybe some masculine or some not. it's very flexible, but never are you fully one gender besides the term itself

there is also androfluid and gynefluid. for example, being androfluid is like being a demiboy, which is when you're partially male and partially another gender, but when you're androfluid, the amount of male that you are changes
really between androfluid etc and demiboy etc it depends on how you look at gender


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serenaserenaserena
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28 Nov 2014, 7:04 pm

also, I supposed it'd only be right to respond to the original post here as well.

All you can do is teach your parents more about what it really means to be genderqueer and not be shy about it. I haven't come out to my parents yet, because I'm too scared, so you're already a pretty good step in. You just need to educate them.


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seaturtleisland
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29 Nov 2014, 1:48 am

I would expect it to be a lot harder to come out as genderfluid or any non-binary identity than it is to come out as a binary trans person. I really wonder if some of the people who take me seriously as a trans-woman would think it's not a real thing if I said I was genderqueer.