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hochi
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15 Oct 2013, 4:46 pm

I don't identify with either gender, but I've only told one person. Does anyone else feel this way, and if so have you told people about it? How did they react?

Personally I exhibit masculine and feminine traits physically and my hobbies I think are androgynous... It's hard for me to tell the difference in things like toys and hobbies. Sometimes I feel like a boy, sometimes I feel like a girl, sometimes both and sometimes neither.

I'm uncomfortable with having to list our gender in our profile here, is there any way to hide that? (I'm new here and can't find anything) It is not a struggle for me in my daily life being referred to by certain pronouns/gender-related words, but especially somewhere like this website I would rather be myself and be seen the way I feel instead of having to choose a gender for everyone to see.


Since I haven't really told more than one person, who I am dating, I am interested to hear if anyone else feels this way and if they have told others, and what those others think of it.


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greyjay
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15 Oct 2013, 5:14 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet! I feel simmularly with regards to gender and I identify as genderqueer. I can talk about it comfortably with my birth mom, and most of my friends and acquaintances are ok with it, although my close friend still says he finds it confusing. (I don't know if this is a typical response, I haven't really had that many friends before and most of the people I hang out with now are neurodiverse and either queer or allies). My adoptive parents are ok, but there is some kind of an undertone of either "it's a phase" or "oh-no not another thing that's different". I can't figure out how to hide the gender on the profile either.



redrobin62
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15 Oct 2013, 7:24 pm

Hi. Help me to understand this.

You don't identify with either gender and you exhibit masculine and feminine traits physically.

Are you saying you have "parts" of both sexes?



hochi
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15 Oct 2013, 9:45 pm

redrobin62 wrote:
Hi. Help me to understand this.

You don't identify with either gender and you exhibit masculine and feminine traits physically.

Are you saying you have "parts" of both sexes?


Oops I meant androgynous physical appearance or occasionally switching between a masculine and feminine style as well as my manner of speech, how I walk, things like that. Not physically the way you said


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DeviousDani
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16 Oct 2013, 4:27 am

I had a look and you have to have male or female, there is no option not to display gender.
You should try and talk to the people who run this website and explain that there should be an option for other, I'm sure they are accepting of all types of people here :)

There's nothing wrong with that, it's okay not to identify with either gender, gender and sex are different anyway, maybe for now you could choose the one that is your sex (what your reproductive organs) um until they change it and if they do



SnickieX
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19 Oct 2013, 4:36 am

Might be, more specifically, Genderfluid, as well.



kittie
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20 Oct 2013, 5:22 pm

Hi. I'm genderfluid, and yeah, I understand what you mean. I've only come out to very close friends and my boyfriend - they thought it was confusing at first, but they're used to it.

Unfortunately, there's no way to hide the male-female thing and I think it's really ignorant of whoever decided that to have only the binary up here.

It's definitely hard not being binary what with everything oriented around the gender binary, and it's okay to take your time coming out (or not coming out at all! I don't plan to other than to close friends).

Best of luck with everything :)



TreeShadow
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22 Oct 2013, 8:43 pm

I feel like you do. I think that the best term to describe it is genderfluid. Sometimes I identify more with one gender or the other, or neither. This is coupled with my pansexual orientation. Basically, I see gender as an irrelevant factor in myself and in my relationships with others. I have felt this way my whole life, but am just beginning to understand and label it. I would suggest researching these terms to see if they sound similar to how you feel.



PerfectlyDarkTails
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22 Oct 2013, 9:08 pm

Yes in a way... I find the term Agender fits best. I don't display as androgynous, but I share very few if any gendered psychological traits. On the outside I may look like an ordinary man, but otherwise I don't hold significance to gender. I find attractions to both if not all genders, I'm asexual and have no desires to partake in activities. Plus it don't matter what I was born with and feel indifferent in body. I have de-masculinized the body to feel less male, grew my hair long and make my skin less rough, but that's about as far dysporia went.

I've never felt the need to tell anyone but a psychologist that was understanding. The gender field I put down to biological sex instead, I like the option of having both gender and sex fields in forums and so on.


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hochi
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23 Oct 2013, 6:29 pm

DeviousDani wrote:
I had a look and you have to have male or female, there is no option not to display gender.
You should try and talk to the people who run this website and explain that there should be an option for other, I'm sure they are accepting of all types of people here :)

There's nothing wrong with that, it's okay not to identify with either gender, gender and sex are different anyway, maybe for now you could choose the one that is your sex (what your reproductive organs) um until they change it and if they do


Maybe I will do that, thank you!

SnickieX wrote:
Might be, more specifically, Genderfluid, as well.

kittie wrote:
Hi. I'm genderfluid, and yeah, I understand what you mean. I've only come out to very close friends and my boyfriend - they thought it was confusing at first, but they're used to it.

Unfortunately, there's no way to hide the male-female thing and I think it's really ignorant of whoever decided that to have only the binary up here.

It's definitely hard not being binary what with everything oriented around the gender binary, and it's okay to take your time coming out (or not coming out at all! I don't plan to other than to close friends).

Best of luck with everything :)

TreeShadow wrote:
I feel like you do. I think that the best term to describe it is genderfluid. Sometimes I identify more with one gender or the other, or neither. This is coupled with my pansexual orientation. Basically, I see gender as an irrelevant factor in myself and in my relationships with others. I have felt this way my whole life, but am just beginning to understand and label it. I would suggest researching these terms to see if they sound similar to how you feel.

PerfectlyDarkTails wrote:
Yes in a way... I find the term Agender fits best. I don't display as androgynous, but I share very few if any gendered psychological traits. On the outside I may look like an ordinary man, but otherwise I don't hold significance to gender. I find attractions to both if not all genders, I'm asexual and have no desires to partake in activities. Plus it don't matter what I was born with and feel indifferent in body. I have de-masculinized the body to feel less male, grew my hair long and make my skin less rough, but that's about as far dysporia went.

I've never felt the need to tell anyone but a psychologist that was understanding. The gender field I put down to biological sex instead, I like the option of having both gender and sex fields in forums and so on.

Thank you all so much, I've never known anyone else who felt this way, or even considered it anything but strange or unacceptable. I think the term genderfluid would be quite accurate. TreeShadow, I especially identify with what you said. Gender is irrelevant to me in myself and my relationships with others. I appreciate the responses very much, and I am very pleasantly surprised. I am glad to be here!



murphpotato
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23 Oct 2013, 6:48 pm

I'm genderqueer and I am also a lesbian. Being genderqueer, for me, means identifying yourself with both genders.



Who_Am_I
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27 Oct 2013, 6:18 am

Same here. I think it's because the idea that there are things for boys and things for girls and never the twain shall meet is very, very stupid.


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Sanctus
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29 Oct 2013, 4:17 pm

I like to think that gender and sexuality are a spectrum, or at least a scale, rather than something binary. Ok, maybe most people find themselves pretty much only at one side. But there are those who are in the middle or 60% to one side or whatever there is. To me that feels entirely natural. I myself identify as female and have no problems with my body, I like looking feminine. But I am not "traditionally female" in many things, I like games, I don't talk much, I do not want children and so on. And I hate it when somebody mentions that and says "you can't do that because you're a woman" or "oh, that's soo unusual, most of the time only men do/think/like that"....

About attraction: I have been attracted to both women and men. I feel like gender is not very relevant for me, it really depends on the person. I am not generally attracted to either the male or female body, it depends on the individual body. And the character of course. So maybe I should call myself pansexual, I don't know. Physically, I've even felt myself attracted to the idea of people having both female and male body parts. I don't really care, I think you like what you like and that's it.


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SnickieX
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29 Oct 2013, 9:13 pm

If I may recommend...

http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Inside-Sci ... 1442219629

Only read a few pages while I was at the library, but checked it out due to those few pages being very interesting.



Twolf
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03 Nov 2013, 5:49 pm

Wolf reporting in. I have traits of both male and female but feel like neither. I call myself 3rd gender (I identify as transgender and androgyne as well). My orientation is asexual.

We definitely need more gender options for the profiles.



idiocratik
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04 Jan 2014, 9:08 pm

I don't think I've ever had any binary gender identity. I've always just felt androgynous; just a sentient being. My mother says I had a vanishing twin. It must have been a girl, and I must have absorbed some of her DNA. My interests have always been pretty gender neutral.


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