The story I'm writing

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A lone bedraggled figure, dressed in a tattered black robe and tunic, groaned as e picked himself off the snow-covered ground once again. Across his back, he had strapped a broadsword; its blade glinted in the moonlight. In his clouded mind, he felt thankful for the numbness in his limbs, for he was unable to feel the deep jagged wounds he knew to be covering his back and side.
Dizzy with blood loss, he sees a light not too far in the distance. Not sure if it is real or not, but clinging to a sliver of hope, he heads off in its direction.
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Two otter scouts, one pretty young female, her coat glossy in the moonlight, the other, an old male, fur silvery gray, his battle scared paws clutching the side of the outpost’s battlements.
The young maid leaned over and whispered in her companion’s ear, “Sir, wake up, wake, WAKE THE f**k UP!”
The silver furred otter’s drooping eyelids snapped open, “I was awake, lassie,” said the elder, his voice deep and resonant, “I was jus making sure that you were staying on your paws.”
“Aye, sure, then you must’ve seen the beast down below crawling up to the gates, right?” asked the young maid inquisitively.
“What, er, I mean, sure, of course I did! Just prove to me that you saw it.”
Know too well not to argue, and trying to hide a smile, she pointed at the dark streak in the snow, showing like a small stream in the moonlight.
“There’s a beast down there, but there ain’t anyway of telling if it’s friend or foe, we’d best post additional guard’s around the wall, and a troop inside the gate sir.”
“ISN’T. The correct way to say it is ‘there isn’t anyway’. You must speak correctly to be taken seriously I this world, you may a pretty young maid, but with barrack room manners like that, you won’t get very far. But what you say makes sense, run along and tell young Benedict to round up his scouting guards. He should be asleep in his quarters. Turn him out of bed, pour water on him, just get him up, your in charge Virginia.”
Virginia, who was proud to have reasonability, even what other may see as trivial, was totally bowled over to be given such a command, over even Corporal Benedict, rushed off to do her C.O.’s bidding.
Ever since she had been assigned to his outpost, he had felt a strange connection to the pretty young maid. A small smile played across Major Oakbeam’s lips as he watched Virginia running across the courtyard towards the officer’s quarters, he wished he could see the look on that snobby Corporal Benedict’s face when he was turned out of bed by a beast of lesser rank. “That Virginia has a lively spirit, I’m glad that she is back here instead of on the front lines, service like that can kill a beast’s spirit.” He said to him self. He uncorked the flask at his side and took a quick swig of the whiskey it contained.
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When Virginia reached the door with Corp. Benedict emblazed on it, she hesitated, her paw less than an inch from the door. Remembering what Major Oakbeam had told her, she chided herself for being so hesitant.
She rapped her paw hard on the wooden door in quick succession, but there was no response. Knock, knock, bang, bang. On the last two knocks, she pounded her fist against the door, but there still was no response.
Tired of waiting, she opened the door and strode in with as much dignity that she could muster. “Corporal Benedict, come to attention!!”
Benedict’s eyes snapped open as he sat up indignantly, “How dare you intrude into my quarter’s?”
“Corporal Benedict, Major Oakbeam gave me orders to use any means necessary to get you out of bed and to instruct you to assemble your guards and wait for my command.” Stated Virginia in a matter-a-fact voice.
Benedict shot Virginia a look of venom as he retorted in a loud voice, “I don’t take order’s from privates, and…”
Virginia cut him off, speaking in a voice that was almost a shout, “He also said that you are to obey my orders, and to report any disobedience to him.”
This last statement took the air out of Benedict’s sails; grudgingly he walked out of his quarter’s to wake his guards. As he walked by Virginia, he bumped into her shoulder, and then walked out the door.
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At first the wall gate creaked open just enough for the inquisitive head of an otter to poke out and look around, seeing the coast was clear, the otter singled for the gate to be thrown open.
There was a dull thud when the door hit the outer wall. Virginia, accompanied by a dozen burly otter guards carrying spears, quickly stepped out towards the figure lying prone in the snow. As Virginia knelt by the cloaked figure, she felt for a pulse, and found it.
“It’s a squirrel, sir, and his pulse is very weak, request permission to bring him inside for medical treatment.” She shouted up to where she knew her superior to be standing.
“Leave him,” shouted Benedict, “can’t you see those wounds are fatal? Leave him there and lets get inside where it’s warm.”
“The last time I checked, I’m the one who is in charge here, Corporal. You are out of line,” chided Oakbeam. “Bring him inside Virginia, and you Benedict, this isn’t the first time you’ve questioned my orders, if you continue, you may very well lose you rank.”

“Bring a stretcher and blankets, we’ve got to get this beast inside and warm,” commanded Virginia.
It was know had task for the strong otter’s to lift the squirrel onto the stretcher, he barely weighed more than the stretcher and blankets.
Virginia walked alongside the squirrel as he was being carried in, she never heard the door’s shut and bolt behind her, nor the hail’s from her friends on the night guard, all of her attention was riveted on the squirrel’s eyes, that had just snapped open.
“Where am I?” asked the squirrel, his voice, as weak as it was, still some how commanded an air of respect from the young otter maid.
“You are in a scouting outpost of the Northern United Territories.” Virginia answered. “What happened to you, why where you out there in the forest in this condition?”
“My tribe are, were, nomads. We had made camp in the forest, but then a band of vermin attacked us, all but four of us were slain in the first attack, we tried to escape, but one of the four us ratted us out, my bride and best friend were taken captive, but I escaped.” Explained the squirrel “. I heard those damned vermin talking about an attack that will be commenced onto a scouting outpost, they want to break through here where the defenses are weakest.”
“What’s your name?” asked Virginia, but she got no answer. She looked down at the figure lying prone, his eyes closed.
“He looks like passed clean away again said a nearby medic. But Virginia wasn’t listening. She turned to him and said, “Get him to the infirmary, I must speak with the Major.

When Virginia reached the door with Corp. Benedict emblazed on it, she hesitated, her paw less than an inch from the door. Remembering what Major Oakbeam had told her, she chided herself for being so hesitant.
She rapped her paw hard on the wooden door in quick succession, but there was no response. Knock, knock, bang, bang. On the last two knocks, she pounded her fist against the door, but there still was no response.
Tired of waiting, she opened the door and strode in with as much dignity that she could muster. “Corporal Benedict, come to attention!!”
Benedict’s eyes snapped open as he sat up indignantly, “How dare you intrude into my quarter’s?”
“Corporal Benedict, Major Oakbeam gave me orders to use any means necessary to get you out of bed and to instruct you to assemble your guards and wait for my command.” Stated Virginia in a matter-a-fact voice.
Benedict shot Virginia a look of venom as he retorted in a loud voice, “I don’t take order’s from privates, and…”
Virginia cut him off, speaking in a voice that was almost a shout, “He also said that you are to obey my orders, and to report any disobedience to him.”
This last statement took the air out of Benedict’s sails; grudgingly he walked out of his quarter’s to wake his guards. As he walked by Virginia, he bumped into her shoulder, and then walked out the door.
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At first the wall gate creaked open just enough for the inquisitive head of an otter to poke out and look around, seeing the coast was clear, the otter singled for the gate to be thrown open.
There was a dull thud when the door hit the outer wall. Virginia, accompanied by a dozen burly otter guards carrying spears, quickly stepped out towards the figure lying prone in the snow. As Virginia knelt by the cloaked figure, she felt for a pulse, and found it.
“It’s a squirrel, sir, and his pulse is very weak, request permission to bring him inside for medical treatment.” She shouted up to where she knew her superior to be standing.
“Leave him,” shouted Benedict, “can’t you see those wounds are fatal? Leave him there and lets get inside where it’s warm.”
“The last time I checked, I’m the one who is in charge here, Corporal. You are out of line,” chided Oakbeam. “Bring him inside Virginia, and you Benedict, this isn’t the first time you’ve questioned my orders, if you continue, you may very well lose you rank.”

“Bring a stretcher and blankets, we’ve got to get this beast inside and warm,” commanded Virginia.
It was know had task for the strong otter’s to lift the squirrel onto the stretcher, he barely weighed more than the stretcher and blankets.
Virginia walked alongside the squirrel as he was being carried in, she never heard the door’s shut and bolt behind her, nor the hail’s from her friends on the night guard, all of her attention was riveted on the squirrel’s eyes, that had just snapped open.
“Where am I?” asked the squirrel, his voice, as weak as it was, still some how commanded an air of respect from the young otter maid.
“You are in a scouting outpost of the Northern United Territories.” Virginia answered. “What happened to you, why where you out there in the forest in this condition?”
“My tribe are, were, nomads. We had made camp in the forest, but then a band of vermin attacked us, all but four of us were slain in the first attack, we tried to escape, but one of the four us ratted us out, my bride and best friend were taken captive, but I escaped.” Explained the squirrel “. I heard those damned vermin talking about an attack that will be commenced onto a scouting outpost, they want to break through here where the defenses are weakest.”
“What’s your name?” asked Virginia, but she got no answer. She looked down at the figure lying prone, his eyes closed.
“He looks like passed clean away again said a nearby medic. But Virginia wasn’t listening. She turned to him and said, “Get him to the infirmary, I must speak with the Major.
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When Virginia told Major Oakbeam of what she learned from the odd squirrel, he called for an emergency meeting at dawn with his superiors.
The meeting was held in a small brightly lit room. On a nice day, shudders are opened on skylights. Light filters down, being amplified by mirrors craftily installed in the wall so that no matter what position the sun was in that the same amount no matter what time of day, and at night lamps are lit to still provide light.
Virginia and Oakbeam stood side by side inside of a large, circular amphitheater in front of all the high-ranking officers in the sector.
“Oakbeam, why have you called this meeting?” asked a stern looking otter wearing the bars of a Major.
“Aye,” continued another, “what was so important that you must call us out of bed in the wee hour’s of the morning.”
This statement caused murmuring to break out amongst those gathered in the hall.