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DeanFoley
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16 Oct 2008, 2:23 pm

Ah, what a liberating poem this has been. Tell me what you think!

One Day

Pain is something we all go through,
it can be found in everything we see and do.
But I’m not sure,
I can go through more,
and I just want to get away,
Just run this day,

But I can’t get away,
I can’t just run today.

Everything will be okay,
things will go my way,
it’ll all happen one day,
‘till then I’ll stand and stay,
let the tears flow,
because I know,
going to be alright one day,
everything will happen one day,
It’ll be okay on that one day.

Will it be too little too late?
Has the pain already sealed my fate?
Feels like I’ll never win,
maybe I should just give in?
Or is this merely my fear?
Got to beat my fear,
got to escape the darkness here.

It is my hope they shall never take,
as I wait for the dawn to break,
as I stand and stay,
waiting for that one day,
when the pain will fade like the snow in May,
Hoping for that one day,
Praying for that one day,
Calling for that one day.

One day,
one night,
when the end is in sight,

That one day…

One day,
one night,
one hope,


One life.



Fnord
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16 Oct 2008, 2:38 pm

Keep the day job.


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TheMidnightJudge
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16 Oct 2008, 8:51 pm

Poetry is a great way to express emotion. It can be a way to come to terms with feelings or have a sort of catharsis.


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just-me
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17 Oct 2008, 1:36 am

Very good!

It was discriptive and conveyed what you wanted to say all whall rhyming.

I give it a 97% out of 100, good job!



just-me
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17 Oct 2008, 1:38 am

I especially love the ending part :

That one day…

One day,
one night,
one hope,


One life.


It gives a sence of suspense and meaning.



PhR33kY
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17 Oct 2008, 4:46 am

Fnord, go troll somewhere else, please. :p

I found your piece moving. It is definatly somthing I can relate to. I so often tell myself that things will be better despite life's current suckage.

Keep up the good work.