Why do people want to be "special"?

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Now, I'll be upfront about this, I'm polyamorous, and whilst not everyone who is polyamorous feels this way or is capable of what I am, I do not see any individual as more or less important than any other individual.

Why is it people want to be special? Is it fear? Greed? Or something else? I don't really understand it.

Thank you.

They observe social hierarchies, and being "special" gives one a higher position within the social hiearchy, which leads to social benefits.

The Freudian answer is feeling special or important is tied to an apparent need for sexual gratification. Figure out why people want sex and you have your answer.

I don't. I just want to be normal as f**k.

Yup, it's a completely animalistic instinct.

Birds do it too:

I was pondering this just this past week. I know of someone who professes to be psychic. She believes she communicates with the dead and can see the future, etc. Now, I'm not being judgmental of her, but I also recognize that she does not have much else going for her.

I guess people can use a 'special' attribute to distinguish themselves and as an identity. That's OK, but the risk is that they can use it as a crutch, to not otherwise try and strive for better. The tactic *might* work if others find that special attribute attractive or valuable (like the mating dance video posted), otherwise that specialness may be perceived as just downright weird.

I've actually thought about this quite a bit, and I think it's a competitive thing. Obviously, not everyone can be the strongest, or the smartest, or the fastest person alive. So people try to find the thing that they can be or do better than anyone else on the planet, and given the number and variety of people in existence, this can definitely manifest itself in weird ways. I think it's especially evident in autistic people, and that's why we have our "special interests"... those are the things that we can (or want to be able to) do better than anyone else in existence, or at least better than anyone else we know. For instance, I know when I was a kid, it was a tremendous source of pride for me that I could spell better than anyone else in my class. I could also name all the first generation Pokemon in order and knew all the tricks in the first gen games, so this being 3rd grade in 1999, my whole class (well, the dudes anyway) thought I was pretty much the second coming of Jesus Christ hahaha. It was a little different, but for elementary school at least, it put my social status on par with the kid who could kick the soccer ball the furthest and the first kid who figured out that the old lady recess aides couldn't reach you and wouldn't chase you if you climbed on top of the tall set of monkey bars.

I think this is a primordial strategy designed to attract a mate! Without it we would not have developed as a species. It is designed to attract the best of the opposite sex so our progeny are as strong as possible to enhance their chances of surviving to reproductive age, thereby prolonging our genes.....the only hope we have of immortality!! !

A mixture of ego an insecurity. That's all.

You are right about it not really being a mono/poly issue.
To me people I like are "special", not in the same way, but not in any kind of hierachical sense either.


If I had the choice I'd want to be "ordinary". As in NT, straight, mono, vanilla...
Since I certainly do appear to be on the wrong planet for an AS, bisexual, solo poly, kinkster.