Page 1 of 2 [ 25 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

RushKing
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Oct 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,340
Location: Minnesota, United States

23 Dec 2014, 9:36 am

I am a new guy working at a big super retail store. She was assigned to watch me operate the cash register the first day. I don't remember looking directly at her. The second day when I was being directed on where to go we made eye contact and she said out loud that she wanted to do it again. But I was ready to cashier alone. Didn't think much of it. The next day that we where there at the same time, a customer said she wanted a slip. I didn't realize this meant gift receipt. I flashed the blinker for my lane. This day she was cashiering like 10 lanes away. The blinker prompts supervisors specifically on the look out to come over. Either this girl is extremely aware of her surroundings or she is looking for an opportunity to interact with me. She beat the supervisor. One other day I was in a lane right next to her. One moment both of us had no lines. So I stand in front of my lane looking to greet customers who are ready to checkout. This girl got very close to me and started playing with her hair. I felt so uncomfortable because I was aroused and I tried to hide it. I didn't know what to do.

I don't think I liked this girl the first time the first time I saw her. I just thought she was physically attractive. But this girl is winning me over. I want to get to know her. At this work site we are all on the clock. All of our breaks are pre scheduled. What am I going to do the next day I see her? Should I write my number on a piece of paper and give it to her?



Rubensteiner
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 21 Nov 2012
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 26
Location: Brazil

23 Dec 2014, 11:15 am

If you see her at morning, ask her where she goes to lunch, and if you can join her! Else, invites her to do something you like to do.

This don't need to be a date, but you must show her that you want to enjoy her presence outside your workplace.

The important thing here is that she liked you. Let her do what she wants to do!

Good luck!

:wink:



886
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,663
Location: SLC, Utah

25 Dec 2014, 5:25 am

you don't have to rush or force anything, just talk to her and get to know her


_________________
If Jesus died for my sins, then I should sin as much as possible, so he didn't die for nothing.


RushKing
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Oct 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,340
Location: Minnesota, United States

25 Dec 2014, 10:18 pm

886 wrote:
you don't have to rush or force anything, just talk to her and get to know her

The problem is that I don't believe I have the opportunity to have a real talk at work. We don't all have lunch at the same time. She appears to be scheduled mostly during afternoon/evening I usually start 8-10am, but there is about a 2-4 hour overlap in our schedules when we are there the same day.

This is a bussy store. I can't just walk over and strike a real conversation with her. And we don't chose the lanes we operate.



LillaA
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 13 Dec 2014
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 83

26 Dec 2014, 8:41 pm

Remember that she might just be being friendly or helping you learn etc. (maybe hoping to get promoted to supervisor), so it could be just that and nothing more, so you don't want to do something that would get you in trouble if she didn't mean anything by it. After Christmas, most retail will slow down a bit; maybe then you could grab a second to make some conversation and see if she wants to do something. I'd think if you worked 2-4 hours after her, she's probably getting ready to go to lunch sometimes when you get out, so you might be able to join her on her lunch after you get out of work. Could try looking her up somewhere like Facebook, too, since she's seemed at least friendly in person, so that would help you be able to have contact outside work and determine whether she's just friendly or more.


_________________
Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.


RushKing
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Oct 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,340
Location: Minnesota, United States

26 Dec 2014, 9:48 pm

LillaA wrote:
Remember that she might just be being friendly or helping you learn etc. (maybe hoping to get promoted to supervisor), so it could be just that and nothing more, so you don't want to do something that would get you in trouble if she didn't mean anything by it. After Christmas, most retail will slow down a bit; maybe then you could grab a second to make some conversation and see if she wants to do something. I'd think if you worked 2-4 hours after her, she's probably getting ready to go to lunch sometimes when you get out, so you might be able to join her on her lunch after you get out of work. Could try looking her up somewhere like Facebook, too, since she's seemed at least friendly in person, so that would help you be able to have contact outside work and determine whether she's just friendly or more.

Lately she has only appeared after lunch. I don't think I'm ready to talk to her. When I saw her today I felt I large sense of dread. I don't know if it's sexual guilt, stress at the end of the day or something else. I am confused.



RushKing
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Oct 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,340
Location: Minnesota, United States

03 Feb 2015, 2:36 am

Ok, here is an update.

I didn't find a chance to talk to her for a long time.

Maybe a week after the last post I spotted her. The place was still very busy. I had a feeling she didn't think I liked her so when I saw her talking to a supervisor in my peripheral I snapped my head and made a quick and honest don't leave me like face. After that day an additional two weeks passed without seeing her. The day when finally saw her again, I didn't have enough change in the cash register for one of the guests and so I had to flash the light. This was just after she walked in and I don't think she even opened her lane yet. So while the supervisor was loading in money. I looked back with my peripheral. I saw her out in the distance, in her lane, starring like nothing else at the moment was more important. A part of me was relieved, but at the same time I lost a sense of mystery I had. So much time had passed and I wondered If I still love her.

More time passed up until a few days ago, Jan 30th. I was working in lane 6, which is in front of lane 7 which is where people go to find out where they are going. In the corner of my eye I saw her arrive and I got nervous. I could tell she was happy by the way she walked. She went on lane 5 and when there were no guests I didn't do anything at first. I needed to calm myself down and get back on my bearings. The second time I realized she isn't going to approach, and I still wasn't sure if I still love her. I knew I had to do something. I dared myself... I put on a smile and stared at her face. A challenge... But I am so wimpy and she looked so beautiful, I found myself stepping backwards. But hey, I was being honest about my insecurities and I battle them without shame. I did it twice. She didn't budge. With a slight smirk to her face she slowly and calmly shifted her eyes. Her eyes moved passed mine without a flinch. It was a tough to get look.

While she was on her break I noticed her while talking to another women looking and smiling at me. Was that a good sign?

Later I decided to say something to her. I asked her how long is she there for. She was like what the first time. I repeated, and she said she was there till closing. I gave a sympathetic mumble.

I didn't expect to see her in the morning the next day. She came in at 9 something. I was shocked and didn't feel ready. I was in a very humble and submissive state. She was filling up each lanes with paper bags. And I have a feeling she grabbed less for mine on purpose so she could come back multiple times. I think she was knew was nervous and wanted me to get comfortable. At lunch I was frustrated. I think she walked in the room for to request a change on the PC behind me. I looked up at her and when I realized she wasn't going to talk to me. I looked down at my phone with a cold analytical face. Later that day, before I was done, she walked behind me thundering her steps.


Yesterday I think I may have blew it. Yesterday I realized I still love her. I had a big chance to talk to her. I was scheduled to swap for her break. It was slow and I arrived 5 minutes early. I had a feeling she knew I wanted to talk. Instead of standing in front looking for guest we both stood at the cash register. I was being my autistic self and was darting my eyes around while I talked. I don't think she was making eye contact either. Though we faced each others direction. All I did was ask her how long she has worked there and right away she decided that she wanted to leave. My tone of voice was emotional, and I was. I was excited. I don't remember the exact words but it was something along the lines of 'maybe I should just go right now'.

Could I have been too confident. Did I come across as desperate? Should I back off? Am I over thinking?



RushKing
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Oct 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,340
Location: Minnesota, United States

03 Feb 2015, 3:18 am

This is would have been an edit. But I can no longer do one. She answered my question, THEN decided to leave. Maybe she was planning to reciprocate after coming back, but when she did other people were around including a supervisor.



RushKing
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Oct 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,340
Location: Minnesota, United States

04 Feb 2015, 10:14 pm

I got an idea!

Next time she is near by, I am going to screw up on somthing (non-customer related) on purpouse. I'm going to smile and ask myself out load 'what am I going to do?'

What do you guys think?



darkphantomx1
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 1 Feb 2015
Age: 29
Posts: 1,293

05 Feb 2015, 3:53 pm

When there is a girl you like, you tend to tense up. Don't do this. This is your opportunity to finally get a girlfriend. Just tell yourself you're going to talk to this girl no matter what. no matter what. Who knows she could be the one.



RushKing
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Oct 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,340
Location: Minnesota, United States

28 Feb 2015, 10:43 pm

Update

There is another girl who flirts, but I'm uninterested in. (Girl #2)

5 days ago Feb 23, the crush entered the store I was unsure if she still likes me. I was on lane 6 this time again. I was afraid again, she came to grab the hangers and I didn't look. Girl #2 was on lane 5 the earlier this day, but is doing something else at the moment. The crush is breaking people today. She hops on to lane 5 and when there were no people she faced herself towards me while smiling. I didn't have any words and felt unprepared so walked over to the end of my lane. Eventually it was time for her to swap in for me she stood behind while I was finishing up. After I finished I asked her if she was breaking me. She said yes and realized there was less than 1 minute, so I zipped out of there.

After I came back Girl #2 was around. The crush logged out and told me thank you with a smile. The crush asked Girl #2 if she can go on lane 5. Girl #2 asks: "why do you want lane 5?" Crush: "It's my lane." I looked down at the scanner with a light grin. Girl #2 asks: "Whats so special about lane 5?" Crush became silent. Lane 7, the lane behind me does not open. It is where we go for supplies and sceduals. But later the crush was doing work with supplies. I remember while I was checking people when she came over to grab something she would glance at me like she wanted to talk, but it couldn't happen with a customer around. The last time she came to grab something she had a sad look on her face and I'm assuming she knew that was the last time she could get near me before she had swap in for someone far away. I did make eye contact with her that day. There were people around but I just made a glance with a faint smile. I had already timed out how long it would be, so when her eyes locked on mine it was like a tenth of a second. I ended up pulling away before I realized she had responded. Her response came with a smile.

The next day she was not working, but I spotted her in the store with friend of hers but I didn't look directly. It looked like they were acting. They entered lanes in my vision pointing and laughing at merchandise. They didn't buy anything.

Today she was not working. I saw her again talking to the nearest supervisor. I looked directly because I had to to see if it was her in the angle she was in. She had three friends with her this time and they didn't buy anything. She was the last out of the store leaving slowly, trailing behind.



RushKing
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Oct 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,340
Location: Minnesota, United States

28 Feb 2015, 11:27 pm

Also on the 23rd in a near by conversation she said out loud the days she is always working there. I think she may have peaked at my schedule.



Beau
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Dec 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 857
Location: ocean

01 Mar 2015, 2:06 am

Hey RushKing.

Reading your update is like watching a soap opera. Out of curiosity, why aren't you interested in Girl #2? I mean, you don't know her well yet, so why dismiss her as a possible interest? What is so great about Girl #1?



michael517
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Nov 2013
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 535
Location: Illinois

01 Mar 2015, 10:12 am

Find that thing about the dress that is blue and black, or white and gold, and ask her if she wants a link texted too her. Or some funny picture, maybe that would better.

If she gives you her number, I think you could consider her interested.

Or something like that. Work it. You are an Aspie, you can come up with ideas.



Hyperborean
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 956
Location: Europe

01 Mar 2015, 10:21 am

It's possible that what she likes about you is that you're quite shy and don't say very much - i.e.: you don't behave like most of the other guys she knows. This has probably pricked her curiosity.

What some aspies don't realize is that they often have an advantage when it comes to finding girlfriends/boyfriends. A lot of people find shy, retiring people very attractive, they're drawn to the air of mystery that surrounds people who don't talk a lot, show off, flirt obviously etc.

Sounds like you're in with a chance. :)



KayteeKay
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jan 2015
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 146

01 Mar 2015, 7:12 pm

RushKing wrote:
Update

There is another girl who flirts, but I'm uninterested in. (Girl #2)

5 days ago Feb 23, the crush entered the store I was unsure if she still likes me. I was on lane 6 this time again. I was afraid again, she came to grab the hangers and I didn't look. Girl #2 was on lane 5 the earlier this day, but is doing something else at the moment. The crush is breaking people today. She hops on to lane 5 and when there were no people she faced herself towards me while smiling. I didn't have any words and felt unprepared so walked over to the end of my lane. Eventually it was time for her to swap in for me she stood behind while I was finishing up. After I finished I asked her if she was breaking me. She said yes and realized there was less than 1 minute, so I zipped out of there.

After I came back Girl #2 was around. The crush logged out and told me thank you with a smile. The crush asked Girl #2 if she can go on lane 5. Girl #2 asks: "why do you want lane 5?" Crush: "It's my lane." I looked down at the scanner with a light grin. Girl #2 asks: "Whats so special about lane 5?" Crush became silent. Lane 7, the lane behind me does not open. It is where we go for supplies and sceduals. But later the crush was doing work with supplies. I remember while I was checking people when she came over to grab something she would glance at me like she wanted to talk, but it couldn't happen with a customer around. The last time she came to grab something she had a sad look on her face and I'm assuming she knew that was the last time she could get near me before she had swap in for someone far away. I did make eye contact with her that day. There were people around but I just made a glance with a faint smile. I had already timed out how long it would be, so when her eyes locked on mine it was like a tenth of a second. I ended up pulling away before I realized she had responded. Her response came with a smile.

The next day she was not working, but I spotted her in the store with friend of hers but I didn't look directly. It looked like they were acting. They entered lanes in my vision pointing and laughing at merchandise. They didn't buy anything.

Today she was not working. I saw her again talking to the nearest supervisor. I looked directly because I had to to see if it was her in the angle she was in. She had three friends with her this time and they didn't buy anything. She was the last out of the store leaving slowly, trailing behind.



I think you're overthinking everything -- including the fact that you think you may love a girl whose name you don't know and who literally hasn't said boo to you.

Surely, you can find two seconds to say "hi, I'm Bob and you are??" at some point during the overlap of your shifts.