Thinking of becoming a "hermit".

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I now understand the benefits of having a girlfriend, but having one argue and yell at you all of the time, play games, and criticize you for everything you do is too much of a risk for me to take. Perhaps living alone and depressed is the better route. Any thoughts?

It's a good way to put on weight but just don't eat much food and do work outs at home to keep your weight down. Mine had finally started going down when I started some work outs.

Dont give up Dhp

I think it is sensible to decide to not have a relationship which contains arguments and to choose to talk about things so that the situation does not escalate to conflict. I think it is possible to find someone who you can get on with and shares ones attitude to life. Indeed I would not settle for a rubbish relationship but would suggest holding out for a fantastic one.

I had been single for nearly 8 years but just recently gained a very nice boyfriend. I had very nearly given up on myself and felt very down about it but then I met him and he is great! He is very kind and loving and I could not imagine arguing with him. I think we can all find someone who makes us happy.

Perhaps living alone and depressed is the better route. Any thoughts?
it's really not all it's cracked up to be.. i get so lonely, i miss C h i t chat with NT's.
Fudo says "don't give up"

Judging by your avatar - How is that possible?

Are you uber-picky?

I've done the hermit thing since about 2005. There are times and purposes for which hermitry works and is necessary. The stress of my PhD work made me difficult to live with, and I was desperate to get away from having roommates when I started living alone. I am just now starting to come out of it, form a few friendships, attend sailing club activities and parties again and move on to having a salary. Maybe I'll find a wife at some point.

These issues aren't specific to the girlfriend issue. There are other kinds of relationships that can become restricted out of necessity in times of stress. The last thing one needs is more people nagging when struggling. Girlfriends aren't a worry, though. The trick is to find one, and then deal with what comes. Odds are that you just won't get one to stay if she has reason to complain, and she won't tell you why. When you first meet a woman, if she sees something she doesn't like, she'll go "eh" and walk away, instead of nagging you.

maybe Im picky, I believed in holding out for someone who I respected and admired and had things in common with.

but Im also very aspie which makes it difficult to find someone compatable. Luckily my boyfriend seems to like my odd ways and obnoxious character.

I've been single for... I don't know, 20 years? I might have a date once every 7 years. If you think being alone is synonymous with depression, you might not make a good hermit! I'm not depressed, the only thing that makes me depressed is relationships.

Choose whatever you think will make you the most happy. Or which you feel like, following.


Sadly i cant find a person, and due to the way i am, whont surprise me if i will live alone later on.
While it may have it advantages to be in love, does also have negativ sides like you say, all the yelling and stuff

I guess only time will tell : /

Totally agree.

Is not the thing about relationships is how to communicate issues and work out problems without takaking offense. Biang honest and facing up to hard trutrhs and how to deal with problems. They will always happen and have to be solved otherwise relationships won't last. My issue is I can't even socilaise though!!

I would say I've been living a hermitic life for the past seven or eight years. Not through choice, more by just letting friendships and acquaintances go through my extreme social ineptitude. I feel I've almost reached a tipping point where I can't go back. All I do is work, eat and sleep(when not haunted by insomnia). Any motivation I did have has gone and even if I wanted to get back into the swing of things I would have no idea how to integrate into society.

Too bad I wasn't born a 100 years later. I'd sign up for a deep space mission.

I already am one and it's not so bad. Sure, I at times wish for company but for the most part, I am at peace with my solitude.

It's a good thing being hermit you don't get so stressed out or have to worry about being looked at because you don't go outside.

How do you folks who truly live as hermits support yourselves financially?