When you wish an aspie guy a "Happy Valentine's Day&quo

Page 1 of 2 [ 17 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

seagull_L
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 3 May 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 7

04 May 2010, 4:10 pm

Hi everyone! :)
I' m new to this forum and I would really appreciate it if someone with aspergers will help me find the
answers to my questions:

1.How do aspie guys usually take it/understand it when you wish them a Happy Valentine's Day?
2.Do they take it as a sign of friendship, or as a hint that you like them?


Thanks! :D



Willard
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2008
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,647

04 May 2010, 4:58 pm

I would simply take that as a holiday appropriate version of "Have a nice day" :thumright:

A card might signify something deeper, but could still be just a friendly gesture - some people give cards to everyone they know. :? :shrug:


Naughty self-photos would be taken as a sure sign of intent. :wink: :heart: :twisted:



phil777
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 May 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,825
Location: Montreal, Québec

04 May 2010, 6:24 pm

As if i would ever know. <.<

Anyways, weren't you there before? The name and the avatar looks familiar. =.= Could be wrong.



seagull_L
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 3 May 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 7

04 May 2010, 7:57 pm

Thank you so much for your help, guys! :D

Willard: Actually, I'm in shock right now. I'd never imagine that "Happy Valentine's" could be
taken as just a holiday greeting... I was absolutely sure that it's supposed to be a romantically special
message. I'm glad that I've asked that question; now I know that that one special guy
might not get the message right :(

phil777: You are wrong; I'm new on this forum :) I've just used the avatar from what the "Wrong Planet"
suggested.



seagull_L
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 3 May 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 7

05 May 2010, 12:50 pm

I'm so confused... :?

If " Happy Valentine's" is just a holiday greeting for an Aspie guy, then
when I'll ask him out, he might think that I just need some fresh air, and
if I'll kiss him, he'll probably take it as that I just want to taste his lips. 8O
Am I right?

How do I show my affection to an Aspie guy throught the Internet ( except saying " I love you")? :help:

I said to him that he is a great person and that I miss him after a month of silence.
I send him very warm greetings. I told him that he is cute and I flirt with him through chat and
in my messeges. I was sure he knows that I like him. But now it looks like
I just wasted more then a year. :cry:

Please help me fix this situation, guys.



machf
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jan 2007
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 324
Location: Lima, Peru

05 May 2010, 3:57 pm

seagull_L wrote:
I'm so confused... :?

If " Happy Valentine's" is just a holiday greeting for an Aspie guy, then
when I'll ask him out, he might think that I just need some fresh air, and
if I'll kiss him, he'll probably take it as that I just want to taste his lips. 8O
Am I right?

No, unless he's mentally ret*d. But you must make it clear that you're not just toying with him.

Quote:
How do I show my affection to an Aspie guy throught the Internet ( except saying " I love you")? :help:

I said to him that he is a great person and that I miss him after a month of silence.

Well, how about telling him that you miss him and would like to spend more time together? That you're worried because you haven't gotten a reply?
Quote:
I send him very warm greetings. I told him that he is cute and I flirt with him through chat and
in my messeges. I was sure he knows that I like him. But now it looks like
I just wasted more then a year. :cry:

Well... there *is* a chance that he just may not be interested the same way you are. Are you prepared if that's the case?
Quote:
Please help me fix this situation, guys.



seagull_L
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 3 May 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 7

05 May 2010, 5:57 pm

macf: Thank you for your reply! It helps a lot :D

:arrow: Quote: " But you must make it clear that you're not just toying with him. "

I'm not that kind of person who likes to play with somebody's feelings. I'm always very serious
about everything and i'd never hurt anyone's feelings no matter if I like them or not. :)

We didn't meet in real life yet, but we agreed that it'll happen one day.We communicate
only through the Internet right now and I just don't know how to make it clear for him
that I really like him. I've read many articles and posts on this forum about guys with A.S. and
they say that even if you'll say to him straight forward that you like him, he might still not believe you.
Do you have any suggestions how to insure him that i really like him :?:

:arrow: Quote: "Well, how about telling him that you miss him and would like to spend more time together? That you're worried because you haven't gotten a reply?"

I always say that I miss him when we don't talk for a while.I told him once that I'd like to talk to him more often.
He replied that he would definitely do that if he didn't need to study so hard at the university. We exchange messeges
on a regular basis and when he can't reply for a long time, he always says "sorry" and explains why he was so busy.

:arrow:Quote: "Well... there *is* a chance that he just may not be interested the same way you are. Are you prepared if that's the case?"

I'm not sure at all how he feels about me. Here is how he acts: :?

-he writes very long and detailed messeges with many questions
-he has my phone number and he gave me his, but he never called
-when i say something warm to him he gets really passionate and sounds much warmer
-he never greets me first, but when i do it he sounds very happy and replies
much more and even warmer than i do.
-he never starts talking to me online first.
-when i say something sweet to him he gets nerveous, but he is saying sweet things to me back.
-when we chat and i'm saying "bye" to him, he sounds sad.
- One of his closest people added me as a friend.

What do you think? Does he like me, or is he just a polite guy? :?: :?

If he doesn't like me it'll be painful, because if i like someone, it might stay forever
until i'll completly lose my hope.

How do I show my affection to an Aspie guy throughout the Internet ( except saying " I love you") :?:

Thanks! :D



PLA
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2007
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,929
Location: Sweden

06 May 2010, 2:52 am

seagull_L wrote:
We didn't meet in real life yet, but we agreed that it'll happen one day.We communicate
only through the Internet right now and I just don't know how to make it clear for him
that I really like him. I've read many articles and posts on this forum about guys with A.S. and
they say that even if you'll say to him straight forward that you like him, he might still not believe you.
Do you have any suggestions how to insure him that i really like him :?:

Well, I suppose being very blunt would get the message across. I don't know if that's too uncomfortable, though.


_________________
I can make a statement true by placing it first in this signature.

"Everyone loves the dolphin. A bitter shark - emerging from it's cold depths - doesn't stand a chance." This is hyperbol.

"Run, Jump, Fall, Limp off, Try Harder."


nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,121
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

06 May 2010, 4:38 am

I mite be able to help seagull_L. When I was 20 I had been chatting with a girl online for a while who told me that she liked me. I didn't believe her at 1st either. I never felt like I had anyone come on to me before except a couple girls in high-school who had insisted I call em when they had given me fake # :cry: I kind of thought it was impossible for anyone to like me & that she was playing a game or just confused & didn't really know me well enough. I realized I was wrong thou after she explained what she liked about me. She had been a good friend to me & had really listened to me before that had been there for me. Things didn't work out but that's a very complicated depressing story. I guess what I'm saying is you could do more than just telling him you like him; trying to be a good friend can help a lot. I really needed to feel like someone actually cared about me & really wanted to understand me. I hope this helps



0_equals_true
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Apr 2007
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,038
Location: London

06 May 2010, 10:23 am

I think you might be confusing it with "will you be my valentine?"



Ichinin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Apr 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,653
Location: A cold place with lots of blondes.

06 May 2010, 11:19 am

seagull_L wrote:
Do you have any suggestions how to insure him that i really like him :?:


1. Rent the movie "Adam".

2. Be verbal. Explain what you want and say that you like him if you like him, do NOT use the "Esp" you normal people have.

If you'd tell me "Have a happy valentine" a few years ago, i'd tell you to go and f yourself, because i've never been out on a valentines, for me its like a christmas party that i'm never invited to or have a clue how to get into.


_________________
"It is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring" (Carl Sagan)


seagull_L
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 3 May 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 7

06 May 2010, 3:27 pm

Thanks to all of you for your reply, guys! :D

PLA: I don't think that being very blunt right now is a good idea, because we didn't even meet in person yet.
So, he definitely won't take "I like you" seriously. Besides, I'm not sure how he feels about me, and if I'll say
to him that i like him, and he doesn't feel the same way then we'll both feel very uncomfortable. But thank you
for sharing your opinion! The more opinions the better chances to make a right decision :thumleft:

nick007: Thank you for the great advice:

Quote:
I guess what I'm saying is you could do more than just telling him you like him; trying to be a good friend can help a lot. I really needed to feel like someone actually cared about me & really wanted to understand me. I hope this helps


Golden words. That is exactly what i'm doing right now, but i'm afraid to end up in the "friend zone" if i won't move
things forward. :(
And guys, according to how he acts, do you think that he likes me :?: :?

Quote:
I never felt like I had anyone come on to me before except a couple girls in high-school who had insisted I call em when they had given me fake # :cry:


I'm sorry that some girls did that to you. :( I hope you don't think that all girls are like that. Some people are just idiots
and unfortunately we can't do anything about it.

Quote:
I kind of thought it was impossible for anyone to like me


Well... 8O... sorry, but that is NONSENSE! I hope you don't think like that anymore. We all are unique, and there is no more guys like you in the whole universe. And there is a lot of things in each of us to be liked for, but some people can see it and some can't, but that is not our falt. :)

Quote:
Things didn't work out but that's a very complicated depressing story.


I know it's very painful when things don't work out, but i believe in fate, and i'm pretty sure that she just wasn't the
right person for you, otherwise it would have worked out. :) Maybe you should share your story on this forum. I'm sure
you'll feel much better after.

I hope my comments helped you too :D

I'll really appriciate it if more people will answer to my questions :)
Thanks!



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,121
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

06 May 2010, 5:18 pm

I don't know how to tell if someone likes your or not by how they act. I don't understand flirting & stuff but it's possible he mite not of considered a relationship with you or realized that he likes you till you talk to him about it. I guess you could try asking him subtle questions as a friend about relationship stuff like ask him if he's had one or has he thought about stuff like that but try to sound like your having a conversation with a friend instead of coming on to him. You mite could lean a bit or he mite start to realize that you mite would be interested in a relationship with him. I wish I could explain better


I know most people are not like what happened in HS & I do think that me & that girl wer incompatible. That was years ago but I haven't met anyone sense & that's one of the rezones I joined this place to make friends & hopefully find someone else. I posted about that stuff a lot on other sites but I mite post about it here at some point but IDK yet Thanx for the encouragement :)



PLA
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2007
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,929
Location: Sweden

07 May 2010, 2:55 am

seagull_L wrote:
Thanks to all of you for your reply, guys! :D

PLA: I don't think that being very blunt right now is a good idea, because we didn't even meet in person yet.
So, he definitely won't take "I like you" seriously. Besides, I'm not sure how he feels about me, and if I'll say
to him that i like him, and he doesn't feel the same way then we'll both feel very uncomfortable. But thank you
for sharing your opinion! The more opinions the better chances to make a right decision :thumleft:

*bow*

0_equals_true wrote:
I think you might be confusing it with "will you be my valentine?"

I think this is the phrase that expresses interest. "Happy Valentine!" seems to mean less.


_________________
I can make a statement true by placing it first in this signature.

"Everyone loves the dolphin. A bitter shark - emerging from it's cold depths - doesn't stand a chance." This is hyperbol.

"Run, Jump, Fall, Limp off, Try Harder."


seagull_L
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 3 May 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 7

08 May 2010, 4:06 pm

Quote:
I think this is the phrase that expresses interest. "Happy Valentine!" seems to mean less.


I agree :)



Zara
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jun 2007
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,877
Location: Deep Dungeon, VA

10 May 2010, 9:57 pm

seagull_L wrote:
Hi everyone! :)
I' m new to this forum and I would really appreciate it if someone with aspergers will help me find the
answers to my questions:

1.How do aspie guys usually take it/understand it when you wish them a Happy Valentine's Day?
2.Do they take it as a sign of friendship, or as a hint that you like them?


Thanks! :D


It wouldn't be any different than "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Halloween" to me. It gets said to most everyone on Valentines so it's rather meaningless.
I wouldn't take it as anything but a greeting. (But again, it might depend on the context of the situation...)


_________________
Current obsessions: Miatas, Investing
Currently playing: Amnesia: The Dark Descent
Currently watching: SRW OG2: The Inspectors

Come check out my photography!
http://dmausf.deviantart.com/