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bewarethebob
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16 Oct 2010, 1:32 pm

isnt so much the title. just wanted to clairfy some stuff.

This gal and me hit it off. She had a BF. I didnt act on her because of it. I like to think I am a moral man. much like slingblade in tucker max's "hope they serve beer in hell".

She told me I was her type, and kept trying to come onto me. I made this very clear that unless she was single I wouldnt act on it. She ended up cheating on him with his best friend. And now they are together. The best friend ended up raping her. Well....now she is still with him. The same guy. So We had a talk. I told her she led me on. Well, she chose an ass over me. A guy who beat her up, over me.

I HAVE EVERY f*****g RIGHT TO BE ANGRY. dont over generalize. All men arent selfish pricks. and all women dont lead on men like the above.

But I have a right to be angry.



ApsieGuy
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16 Oct 2010, 1:38 pm

In before people complain that you are a self-entitled whinner......



bewarethebob
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16 Oct 2010, 1:47 pm

ApsieGuy wrote:
In before people complain that you are a self-entitled whinner......


win.



Asp-Z
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16 Oct 2010, 1:51 pm

The title made me laugh :lol:

But yes, you have a right to be angry in that situation. I'd recommend not bothering with her, keep her out of your life. She'll only keep causing trouble.



Last edited by Asp-Z on 16 Oct 2010, 2:01 pm, edited 2 times in total.

PaleBlueDotty
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16 Oct 2010, 1:59 pm

The only thing that I can say as a woman is that this girl seems to have a way more troubled mind than you.

It always takes two to tango, and telling her straight out that you would be only interested in a relationship if she first broke up with her boyfriend is decent of you, accusing her of leading you on isn't, it happens every day, she tried it on, but it was not about you.
I assume at this point in her life she did not seem to be interested in "decent" - some people can be very self destructive and try to take others with them, but she must have sensed that this little mind game wasn't working with you, so she tried it with somebody else, much to her own detriment, and I just hope she wisens up quickly.
I think it is important to remember that people behave this way not because they do not like you, but because they do not like themselves.



bewarethebob
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16 Oct 2010, 2:08 pm

PaleBlueDotty wrote:
The only thing that I can say as a woman is that this girl seems to have a way more troubled mind than you.

It always takes two to tango, and telling her straight out that you would be only interested in a relationship if she first broke up with her boyfriend is decent of you, accusing her of leading you on isn't, it happens every day, she tried it on, but it was not about you.
I assume at this point in her life she did not seem to be interested in "decent" - some people can be very self destructive and try to take others with them, but she must have sensed that this little mind game wasn't working with you, so she tried it with somebody else, much to her own detriment, and I just hope she wisens up quickly.
I think it is important to remember that people behave this way not because they do not like you, but because they do not like themselves.


it is true though, when she was single I would have thought being a good person and supporting her would be nice.

Thats pretty much the definition of leading someone on.



The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Oct 2010, 2:14 pm

She's not a woman who's worth to be angry for.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 16 Oct 2010, 3:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

sinsboldly
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16 Oct 2010, 2:18 pm

bewarethebob wrote:
PaleBlueDotty wrote:
The only thing that I can say as a woman is that this girl seems to have a way more troubled mind than you.

It always takes two to tango, and telling her straight out that you would be only interested in a relationship if she first broke up with her boyfriend is decent of you, accusing her of leading you on isn't, it happens every day, she tried it on, but it was not about you.
I assume at this point in her life she did not seem to be interested in "decent" - some people can be very self destructive and try to take others with them, but she must have sensed that this little mind game wasn't working with you, so she tried it with somebody else, much to her own detriment, and I just hope she wisens up quickly.
I think it is important to remember that people behave this way not because they do not like you, but because they do not like themselves.


it is true though, when she was single I would have thought being a good person and supporting her would be nice.

Thats pretty much the definition of leading someone on.


not everyone has your code of conduct, Bob. Thinking that they do, or might, is a generous thing to do, however don't let that blind you to the fact that they may not have the same moral code as you do. Personally, I think you dodged a bullet by having this female train wreck out of your life. As long as you nurse your resentment of her, she still has her hooks in you. Do yourself a favor and chalk this one up to experience and move on. As you so clearly understand now, she would not have been a good candidate as a loving spouse or a good mother to your children. Oh, and if you are attracted to the idea that being under the influence of a 'good man' would have 'fixed' her, :roll: Some people go into relationships thinking they will be the 'hero/heroine' and their good deeds will be rewarded by a reformed partner eternally grateful for the salvation they have attained. Dream on. The weak bring down the strong, because it takes so little effort to be weak, and so much effort to be strong that they finally wear them out.

my not so humble opinion, your mileage may vary, of course.


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Last edited by sinsboldly on 16 Oct 2010, 2:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

PaleBlueDotty
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16 Oct 2010, 2:22 pm

Oh, I think I get what you mean now.

The fact that you two were talking about a relationship first and she then just started one with somebody else without telling you?
I thought you meant the flirtatious actions towards you whilst she was still with her first boyfriend.

Well, i do understand your frustration, but can't help thinking that her psychological "lay-out" does not come anywhere close to what you would want in a woman in a relationship.
I do think that you had a "lucky escape" though.
She's drifting and needs to sort things out in her own mind, and guess what - she's got the biggest chance of doing this by being on her own, not in a relationship, even if it was ever so caring and supportive.
It sounds really harsh, doesn't it? Sorry ... :cry:



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16 Oct 2010, 2:27 pm

well, she sounds like a nasty horrible woman of questionable moral character. you sound like a nice decent man with upstanding moral character.

which begs the question... why did you want to be with her in the first place? she was sending you all kinds of hints by staying with the first guy and trying to hit on you. did you think she was just a nice girl trapped in a crappy relationship or something, and that she would eventually become a decent judge of men? most likely she would have eventually tried to cheat on you too if she had a relationship with you.

i think you should be proud of yourself for not entangling yourself in her ridiculous games just for an easy lay. you did everything right, but with the wrong woman.


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SadAspy
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16 Oct 2010, 2:34 pm

Sorry dude. I've had a lot of women lead me on too....it sucks.



bewarethebob
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16 Oct 2010, 2:37 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
well, she sounds like a nasty horrible woman of questionable moral character. you sound like a nice decent man with upstanding moral character.

which begs the question... why did you want to be with her in the first place? she was sending you all kinds of hints by staying with the first guy and trying to hit on you. did you think she was just a nice girl trapped in a crappy relationship or something, and that she would eventually become a decent judge of men? most likely she would have eventually tried to cheat on you too if she had a relationship with you.

i think you should be proud of yourself for not entangling yourself in her ridiculous games just for an easy lay. you did everything right, but with the wrong woman.

@hyper
because she had so much potential. thats why. You are right though. I could have had sex with her. But I chose not to. it wouldnt be one of love.
she doesnt outwardly appear like this, but there is someting sick inside of her, that is eating away.

wouldnt feel right.

@pale and sins thanks for the input guys. I think you understand. which is why I posted this, to show it isnt so cut and dry round here.



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16 Oct 2010, 3:31 pm

If the story you tell is true then I would say that you are better off without this woman, she sounds like not a nice person.


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16 Oct 2010, 4:09 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
She's not a woman who's worth to be angry for.


+1


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Craig28
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16 Oct 2010, 4:13 pm

SadAspy wrote:
Sorry dude. I've had a lot of women lead me on too....it sucks.


Women have the right to reject someone, but not the right to turn someone inside out. Women, will never learn, they will continue to act bitchy until they realise the truth about the whole feminism movement thing - it wasn't designed so that women can have a attitude, it was designed for women to get more equality. Alas, the original feminists bred a load of shallow females. Those shallow women bred the b*****s. And here we are.



PaleBlueDotty
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16 Oct 2010, 4:44 pm

Craig28 wrote:
SadAspy wrote:
Sorry dude. I've had a lot of women lead me on too....it sucks.


Women have the right to reject someone, but not the right to turn someone inside out. Women, will never learn, they will continue to act bitchy until they realise the truth about the whole feminism movement thing - it wasn't designed so that women can have a attitude, it was designed for women to get more equality. Alas, the original feminists bred a load of shallow females. Those shallow women bred the b*****s. And here we are.


Hmmmm, last time i checked "breeding" involved also the input of a male specimen of the breed. It also is down to the male specimen how much "input" he has in the upbringing of his off-spring, but then again he might not be that interested in it, because his head is full of mysogynist ideas in the first place... and these ideas were put there by let me guess, women?