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Why do guys hate fat chicks?

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Would you date someone fatter than you?
Yes 70%  70%  [ 123 ]
No 30%  30%  [ 53 ]
Total votes : 176

Erisad
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12 Jul 2010, 10:46 am

KaiG wrote:
My advice is to move to a different country. Odds are your weight would go down, or be less of an issue, and you might like your doctors better.


Um...I can't afford to do that. I'm a college student who lost her job. I probably won't be able to do that until I'm in my 40's. :/

lotusblossom wrote:
I spent several years as an adult being very slim and many more years being very fat and I found it did not make any difference with dateing. Men did not seem to mind my weight but they did mind my personality. I did have much more interest off men when I was very slim but that was a nuisance more than anything and I prefer to have less attention. That also comes with age, now Im in my 30's Im in the 'mumsy' category rather than the 'sexy' category that 20 year olds are in, but I much prefer walking around town and not getting approached or commented at.

I find that fat or slim, when men ask me out its because they fancy me, rather than because they like me, I find my personality grates on them after a while and they are not able to tollerate me. I dont think looks matter over all, as people stay with those who they get on with rather than those they fancy, especially in the 'long haul'. I expect things will get easier for you as time goes on as older men often prefer fatter women and are less interested in 'arm candy' to show off and more interested in a deeper relationship.


That's my problem. I'm 20, I'm supposed to be sexy but I'm not. When I'm out with friends, people ask if I'm their mother. :(

I guess I never felt attractive so I find the lack of attention more troubling. I ask guys out and only two said yes and both relationships ended horribly. Apparently guys love playing with a girl's heart. :/

I don't know how much time I have. After college, I'm feeling that I'll be so preoccupied with work that I won't have time to date ever.



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12 Jul 2010, 10:47 am

Erisad wrote:
billsmithglendale wrote:
It's not all men -- it really depends on how you are shaped (BBW vs. just big), and also regional, cultural, and ethnic tastes. I've noticed black men tend to like bigger women, black or otherwise, but not so much on the white guy side. Still, if you want to be smaller, have you spoken to your physician? Working with a doctor on the issue will be a lot more effective than fad diets and unguided exercise.

I'm with you on how hard it is -- I struggle with my weight as well, yet work out 4-5 times a week.


I'm not attracted to black guys. Not to mention if I were to fall for one, my family would never let me marry him so it's pointless to move in that direction.

My doctor's a bit of an as*hole so I don't really want to talk to him about that. Bastard bruised me when giving me my meningitis and tetnus shot and thought it was funny. Besides doctors don't care about their patients. They just want our money. :/


Maybe you just need a new doctor. I would talk to someone who is an expert in the human body, if you are serious about losing the weight in a healthy way.

Otherwise -- there are men who go for bigger women, and some of them are quite nice and normal. You gotta look in the right places to find them - personal ads, gourmet dining events, etc.



Erisad
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12 Jul 2010, 10:55 am

billsmithglendale wrote:
Erisad wrote:
billsmithglendale wrote:
It's not all men -- it really depends on how you are shaped (BBW vs. just big), and also regional, cultural, and ethnic tastes. I've noticed black men tend to like bigger women, black or otherwise, but not so much on the white guy side. Still, if you want to be smaller, have you spoken to your physician? Working with a doctor on the issue will be a lot more effective than fad diets and unguided exercise.

I'm with you on how hard it is -- I struggle with my weight as well, yet work out 4-5 times a week.


I'm not attracted to black guys. Not to mention if I were to fall for one, my family would never let me marry him so it's pointless to move in that direction.

My doctor's a bit of an as*hole so I don't really want to talk to him about that. Bastard bruised me when giving me my meningitis and tetnus shot and thought it was funny. Besides doctors don't care about their patients. They just want our money. :/


Maybe you just need a new doctor. I would talk to someone who is an expert in the human body, if you are serious about losing the weight in a healthy way.

Otherwise -- there are men who go for bigger women, and some of them are quite nice and normal. You gotta look in the right places to find them - personal ads, gourmet dining events, etc.


Why should I have to pay money for some crackpot doctor's opinion? What if he's wrong too? I noticed that all the doctors in my area are men. Going to him for advice about the female body seems like a bad idea. It'd be like if I were to call myself a mechanic and I don't even own a car.

If they exist, they sure as hell aren't in college. These men are supposed to be more intelligent. I guess my expectations are too high. :/



lotusblossom
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12 Jul 2010, 11:00 am

Erisad wrote:
KaiG wrote:
My advice is to move to a different country. Odds are your weight would go down, or be less of an issue, and you might like your doctors better.


Um...I can't afford to do that. I'm a college student who lost her job. I probably won't be able to do that until I'm in my 40's. :/

lotusblossom wrote:
I spent several years as an adult being very slim and many more years being very fat and I found it did not make any difference with dateing. Men did not seem to mind my weight but they did mind my personality. I did have much more interest off men when I was very slim but that was a nuisance more than anything and I prefer to have less attention. That also comes with age, now Im in my 30's Im in the 'mumsy' category rather than the 'sexy' category that 20 year olds are in, but I much prefer walking around town and not getting approached or commented at.

I find that fat or slim, when men ask me out its because they fancy me, rather than because they like me, I find my personality grates on them after a while and they are not able to tollerate me. I dont think looks matter over all, as people stay with those who they get on with rather than those they fancy, especially in the 'long haul'. I expect things will get easier for you as time goes on as older men often prefer fatter women and are less interested in 'arm candy' to show off and more interested in a deeper relationship.


That's my problem. I'm 20, I'm supposed to be sexy but I'm not. When I'm out with friends, people ask if I'm their mother. :(

I guess I never felt attractive so I find the lack of attention more troubling. I ask guys out and only two said yes and both relationships ended horribly. Apparently guys love playing with a girl's heart. :/

I don't know how much time I have. After college, I'm feeling that I'll be so preoccupied with work that I won't have time to date ever.

I think two saying yes is a good rate actually, lots of guys on this forum have not had one say yes. Most relationships end horribly, otherwise they carry on, that is the nature of relationships.

I think you are just feeling a bit down at the moment and bad about yourself and focusing your unhappiness on your weight. Why not try reading some self esteem books, I found these ones especially good
mirror mirror by Dr Linda (really helped me not mind my body)
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mirror-Linda-Pa ... 70&sr=8-11

all susan jeffers books are great!! !
http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_nos ... rs&x=0&y=0



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12 Jul 2010, 11:11 am

lotusblossom wrote:
Erisad wrote:
KaiG wrote:
My advice is to move to a different country. Odds are your weight would go down, or be less of an issue, and you might like your doctors better.


Um...I can't afford to do that. I'm a college student who lost her job. I probably won't be able to do that until I'm in my 40's. :/

lotusblossom wrote:
I spent several years as an adult being very slim and many more years being very fat and I found it did not make any difference with dateing. Men did not seem to mind my weight but they did mind my personality. I did have much more interest off men when I was very slim but that was a nuisance more than anything and I prefer to have less attention. That also comes with age, now Im in my 30's Im in the 'mumsy' category rather than the 'sexy' category that 20 year olds are in, but I much prefer walking around town and not getting approached or commented at.

I find that fat or slim, when men ask me out its because they fancy me, rather than because they like me, I find my personality grates on them after a while and they are not able to tollerate me. I dont think looks matter over all, as people stay with those who they get on with rather than those they fancy, especially in the 'long haul'. I expect things will get easier for you as time goes on as older men often prefer fatter women and are less interested in 'arm candy' to show off and more interested in a deeper relationship.


That's my problem. I'm 20, I'm supposed to be sexy but I'm not. When I'm out with friends, people ask if I'm their mother. :(

I guess I never felt attractive so I find the lack of attention more troubling. I ask guys out and only two said yes and both relationships ended horribly. Apparently guys love playing with a girl's heart. :/

I don't know how much time I have. After college, I'm feeling that I'll be so preoccupied with work that I won't have time to date ever.

I think two saying yes is a good rate actually, lots of guys on this forum have not had one say yes. Most relationships end horribly, otherwise they carry on, that is the nature of relationships.

I think you are just feeling a bit down at the moment and bad about yourself and focusing your unhappiness on your weight. Why not try reading some self esteem books, I found these ones especially good
mirror mirror by Dr Linda (really helped me not mind my body)
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mirror-Linda-Pa ... 70&sr=8-11

all susan jeffers books are great!! !
http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_nos ... rs&x=0&y=0


A lot of my friends of the same have had 5 relationships. Both of the relationships I had were really short. The longest being 2 months. The other being 3 weeks. The one left me for a girl even larger than me so I'm really confused.

I might look at those books if I see them at the grocery store. I'm afraid that those books might be like other "self-help" books in that they are condescending. The reviews don't bode well. Also, since I'm a writer I'm very picky with books. >.>



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12 Jul 2010, 11:13 am

Ichinin wrote:
Hate? Nah. Its such a strong word. Avoid would be a better word. Its just what people go for, for some its the outside that is the only thing that matters and there are many of them, thats why you hear alot of it.

Me, i'd rather take a round girl any day over an "Angelina Joulie" with a cigarette in her mouth and a kid in her arms...


People avoid what they dislike or hate. I've had people say terrible things to me just because I'm not beautiful. It's not my fault I'm ugly and man-ish. :/



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12 Jul 2010, 11:15 am

Erisad wrote:
People avoid what they dislike or hate. I've had people say terrible things to me just because I'm not beautiful. It's not my fault I'm ugly and man-ish. :/


if that's your picture over there <=- i don't think you're "ugly and manish" at all.


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billsmithglendale
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12 Jul 2010, 11:16 am

Erisad wrote:
lotusblossom wrote:
Erisad wrote:
KaiG wrote:
My advice is to move to a different country. Odds are your weight would go down, or be less of an issue, and you might like your doctors better.


Um...I can't afford to do that. I'm a college student who lost her job. I probably won't be able to do that until I'm in my 40's. :/

lotusblossom wrote:
I spent several years as an adult being very slim and many more years being very fat and I found it did not make any difference with dateing. Men did not seem to mind my weight but they did mind my personality. I did have much more interest off men when I was very slim but that was a nuisance more than anything and I prefer to have less attention. That also comes with age, now Im in my 30's Im in the 'mumsy' category rather than the 'sexy' category that 20 year olds are in, but I much prefer walking around town and not getting approached or commented at.

I find that fat or slim, when men ask me out its because they fancy me, rather than because they like me, I find my personality grates on them after a while and they are not able to tollerate me. I dont think looks matter over all, as people stay with those who they get on with rather than those they fancy, especially in the 'long haul'. I expect things will get easier for you as time goes on as older men often prefer fatter women and are less interested in 'arm candy' to show off and more interested in a deeper relationship.


That's my problem. I'm 20, I'm supposed to be sexy but I'm not. When I'm out with friends, people ask if I'm their mother. :(

I guess I never felt attractive so I find the lack of attention more troubling. I ask guys out and only two said yes and both relationships ended horribly. Apparently guys love playing with a girl's heart. :/

I don't know how much time I have. After college, I'm feeling that I'll be so preoccupied with work that I won't have time to date ever.

I think two saying yes is a good rate actually, lots of guys on this forum have not had one say yes. Most relationships end horribly, otherwise they carry on, that is the nature of relationships.

I think you are just feeling a bit down at the moment and bad about yourself and focusing your unhappiness on your weight. Why not try reading some self esteem books, I found these ones especially good
mirror mirror by Dr Linda (really helped me not mind my body)
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mirror-Linda-Pa ... 70&sr=8-11

all susan jeffers books are great!! !
http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_nos ... rs&x=0&y=0


A lot of my friends of the same have had 5 relationships. Both of the relationships I had were really short. The longest being 2 months. The other being 3 weeks. The one left me for a girl even larger than me so I'm really confused.

I might look at those books if I see them at the grocery store. I'm afraid that those books might be like other "self-help" books in that they are condescending. The reviews don't bode well. Also, since I'm a writer I'm very picky with books. >.>


Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think the weight (or your looks) is the issue here. There's a bigger personality issue at work. I'll let others flesh this out.



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12 Jul 2010, 11:16 am

L3gi0n wrote:
Erisad wrote:
People avoid what they dislike or hate. I've had people say terrible things to me just because I'm not beautiful. It's not my fault I'm ugly and man-ish. :/


if that's your picture over there <=- i don't think you're "ugly and manish" at all.


It is my picture. There's a reason I only show my face in pictures because that's the best part of me. The rest I hide in large clothes.



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12 Jul 2010, 11:20 am

billsmithglendale wrote:

Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think the weight (or your looks) is the issue here. There's a bigger personality issue at work. I'll let others flesh this out.


I know that I'm really insecure and have major trust issues with people. I always feel like people are playing me for their own entertainment. Apparently getting a fat girl's hopes up and then crushing them is hilarious.



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12 Jul 2010, 11:34 am

Erisad wrote:
People avoid what they dislike or hate. I've had people say terrible things to me just because I'm not beautiful. It's not my fault I'm ugly and man-ish. :/


If that is you on the picture, you're not ugly. I'd totally do you :)


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12 Jul 2010, 11:35 am

Erisad wrote:
I know that I'm really insecure and have major trust issues with people. I always feel like people are playing me for their own entertainment. Apparently getting a fat girl's hopes up and then crushing them is hilarious.



It's more like: people getting anyone's hopes up and then crushing them is hilarious. Some people have this bully mentality and feel the need to act like they're better than someone else - to ease their own fears of not being good enough to others.

It's not like you got singled out because you're overweight.



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12 Jul 2010, 11:40 am

Ichinin wrote:
Erisad wrote:
People avoid what they dislike or hate. I've had people say terrible things to me just because I'm not beautiful. It's not my fault I'm ugly and man-ish. :/


If that is you on the picture, you're not ugly. I'd totally do you :)


That's my pic. And thank you? XD

Quartz11 wrote:
It's more like: people getting anyone's hopes up and then crushing them is hilarious. Some people have this bully mentality and feel the need to act like they're better than someone else - to ease their own fears of not being good enough to others.

It's not like you got singled out because you're overweight.


I guess I'm too sensitive for this world. *hugs anti-depressants* :(



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12 Jul 2010, 11:47 am

Erisad wrote:
I'm not attracted to black guys. Not to mention if I were to fall for one, my family would never let me marry him so it's pointless to move in that direction.
/


Awww. And it was all sounding so goooood! :D


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12 Jul 2010, 11:50 am

BigK wrote:
Erisad wrote:
I'm not attracted to black guys. Not to mention if I were to fall for one, my family would never let me marry him so it's pointless to move in that direction.
/


Awww. And it was all sounding so goooood! :D


I'm sorry. I'm sure you're a good person though. :(



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12 Jul 2010, 11:55 am

Erisad, all men are not so close minded and uptight. True, many men are, but that is due to the social programming telling them what they're supposed to think of as attractive.

There is nothing wrong with you just the way you are, you just need to find a guy who recognizes that and appreciates it. That might not be easy, because the social programming is so prevalent throughout society, but don't give up hope.

Just keep in mind that you are not the problem, and the fact that you are already dieting and exercising shows that you are willing to work for a relationship, which speaks highly of you.

LordoftheMonkeys wrote:
I don't see what's with all these fat people complaining that they can't get a date. All you gotta do is change your diet and exercise more. It's not like you were born with cleft lip or something.


Sorry to tell you but it doesn't always work that way. Everyone has a different metabolism, those with a really slow metabolism have a great deal of trouble losing weight regardless of how hard they try.

A friend of mine has an extremely slow metabolism, he exercises and diets consistently, but has a great deal of trouble losing any weight. And he didn't become overweight from over eating or being lazy either. He ate a normal amount of food and was reasonably active, but his metabolism being so slow caused him to pack on the pounds as time went on.

I am fortunate enough to have a fast metabolism, and I feel bad for my friend when we're hanging out and I eat over twice as much as he does, but I don't put on any weight and he can't get rid of any.


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