I feel cheated out of life...

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Wrong way around.

If your emotional equilibrium was restored, then perhaps you would be able to consistently get girls.

Not "consistently getting girls will restore my emotional equilibrium". You cannot consistently get girls without the emotional equilibrium. The emotional equilibrium must come first.

Thankyou.. at least someone gets what I'm on about.
Treat the cause not the symptoms.

I gotta agree with emp. Fix yourself Fearless.

And if you really just need sex and you don't care at all about relating - really - masturbation or a blow up doll should be sufficient. It would probably be better than some demanding woman who wanted to fix you or was frightened of you.

If you can get around enough to get to uni, you can get around enough to get yourself some help.

Things you write that I find a major turn off (as a woman)

1. you don't care which woman, any woman will do. This may result in you going from one woman to the next saying something accurate but stupid like "will you have sex with me", if you add some of the usual lies like "I think you're beautiful and special" - even worse. I like to feel like I am the number one choice and preference of the guy because he does see or ideally learn something unique about me that he likes.

2. you say you can't live without a woman. Personally I don't want that kind of responsibility. And it feels dishonest because surely since you don't care which woman, you could just find another to "sustain" you. Like a vampire.

3. you blame all your problems on anything but what you do and how you think.

4. I hate to break it to you, but male sexual predators are out there to express power and control. It isn't to meet some sexual need. Some of them have nice submissive regular girlfriends and go out and rape anyway. It's a hate women thing. Extremely unattracted to all but the most twisted women. The twisted ones are out there, go find one of them.

You're all grown up now. You can decide for yourself how to think and respond to the world - quit blaming your upbringing. Nelson Mandella didn't let his problems stop him. Neither did Lance Armstrong or I hate to say it - Oprah Winfrey. You don't have to be as heroic or loud as them but you don't have to be a complete sad sack either.

You don't say! Thanks for pointing out the obvious, of COURSE I already KNOW this, I DIDN'T PLAN TO LIVE THS LONG if you read my original message, only this year did something SNAP ME OUT OF IT. I take full responsibility, I just feel lost now that I've woken up. It didn't PHAZE ME before because I had not planned on living, in other words: I was willing to live with the consequences of my actions because I was dead set on self-destruction for years on end that started in my youth.



Again you're a woman you can't understand the meaning of PHYSICAL AFFECTION DEPRIVATION and what it does to a guy, so please don't pretend that you know.



I'm not saying I can't live without a woman, I'm saying if I had the ability to socialize and get women, that would help repair my self-esteem and point it in the right direction, confidence and self-esteem comes from successes, not from failures.



There was no BLAME read my original post, I said that *I didn't plan to live* notice the word PLAN. Yes I PLANNED not to live because my existence was so sh***y, saying my environment had nothing to do with it is the most anti-intellectual thing to come out of your mouth.

The way my mind was wired was not like Oprah or any other person who "made it from rags to riches", THEY are not ME, they have entirely different biologies, peoples brains are not cookie cutters of one another. My neuro chemistry is and physiology is entirely different, what kinds of emotions were these people experiencing, why didn't their brains collapse from the trauma of their childhood? There are countless other childre who've had the same and died, so please lets not hold them up as paragons of virtue, its all dependent on the genes you were given



You haven't lived my life, you dont have my brain nor my body, saying that I'm a "sad sack" because I should just have just "realized" and "man'd up" like oprah or neil armstrong is ridiculous, they have entirely different brain chemistry. Unles you dont believe in science, a persons decisions is effected by the structures of his brain. I'm sure you'd tell schizophrenics just to "get over" their schizophrenia.

fearless...have you ever seen the movie fight club?

there are many self help groups out there..people meet to discuss cancer , diabetes, mental health issues, bereavement etc....you chould go along to one........i found when i was sucidal that the easiest girls to lay were in the depression group....so i went, i got laid and also fixed my depression, i tried other groups but the depressed girls were the easiest...you should try them...look it up on the web in your areas...loads of girls go here man.

Known alot of coma patients sweetheart?


PLEASE stop saying stupid things.. I do feel some sympathy for you.. and I'm trying to be sensitive to your situation but you're not making it easy. What we are trying to say is that using women for sex [or contemplating it] is a BAD thing. We have other attributes. If that is all you want them for.. masterbating, using sex toys or paying for it would be more admirable. If you were to use a woman for sex and then rejected her as a person afterwards.. she might feel bad about herself and end up feeling like you are now. I hope I have explained this properly.

Donkey,

From the bottom of my heart.. I sincerly hope your penis becomes ulcerated and falls off.

I know women have other attributes, and it may seem like I want to "use them for sex" it ISNT LIKE THAT AT ALL, I expect women to leave me because I have AS and am a low status guy, ALL WOMEN DO. IT's a pattern I've seen again and again with women, they will climb on up to the next higher status compatible guy as soon as the find him.

I'm so sorry. I just got that impression thats what you meant when you repetively said that you needed girls to get sex. That you were sexless. That you needed sex to fix your problems because it would 'soothe your psyche'. etc .ect. IMO you have bigger problems and should address them. Going into new relationships you would be better getting rid of as much emotional baggage as you can anyway or they'll just leave you. Thats not their fault.. it sounds like you might be very emotionally draining.

hi riley, you seem like a nic eperson.........i was attempting to get fearless to go to a depression group as he seems depressed, this is about him, not you...i have never been to a depression group or picked up girls from there....its about trying to help him but thanks for your input, you seem to be the only one who didnt get it.

nice one......good for you.

fearless try the groups man, even thou i was trying to trick you, the theory is sound...depressed chicks should be easy to lay.

good luck dude.
as for riley........

I hate to but in, but I can relate to this issue and I know what it ALL boils down to.


ACCEPTANCE.

It's about needing a someone to say you're a good person and I approve of you. This is in the form of relationships and/or sex. Having someone have sex with you(assuming it is a loving relationship) means that the person accepts every part of you.

Therefore, the most important self is accepting yourself. Once you truly do this, the other things will fall into place. If you can't, you won't be able to achieve your other goals.

You do not understand the man’s pain, pain that is more then psychical pain, the pain that cannot be traded in for any other pain. You do not understand that his sexual attitude does not come about because he want some kind of orgasm, so sex toys will not work, if it was he could take pills to kill his sexdrive and problem solved.It is not the joy he want it is the pain he doesn’t want. No surprising that he wants to commit suicide, he wants no more pain. You would know this if you have ever felt like he does.
If he feels like I do, no words can heal his pain because it is pain like physical pain. Loveless sex, sexless love, a romance that will eventually make him bankrupt, violent and abusive relationship or death seems better then to live the pain. He is at the point anything good or bad is better then the pain.

I am a guy as well and I am absolutely disgusted by the last poster. Suicide is just a cop out. Life has so much to offer. Just because you can't have a relationship the results in sex doesn't mean you can't contribute to your self and to others in so many ways.

Yes, I have been suicidial in the past and now I realize my mistakes. I still believe that everything will go back to acceptance of self.

Fearless

Ok a lot of your thinking isn't very rational.

You blame your AS for your lack of ability to get women or a serious female life partner (I'm being optimistic).

I know this is crap because most of my family is AS going back generations. A few of them didn't cope well (got an occasional alcoholic and gambler) but managed to be successful when it comes to families and jobs anyway.

And don't say just because I am a woman I don't understand physical sensory deprivation. I've got female friends that can't live without a partner, and finding one that is respectful enough to live with isn't that easy either. Some perserverance is needed.

I don't know why you can't put the same kind of intensity into the idea of living as you do into the idea of planning to die.

Please don't confuse Lance Armstrong with Neil Armstrong. And maybe you could relate to Bill Gates better. He didn't have a fun time at school, and he wasn't real successful with the girls until people started throwing money at him. He did focus on better things to do than how useless he was for being picked on and not being able to get girls.

Seriously - no girls is not so serious as you make it out to be - otherwise there would be no celibate monks.

Trust me, I know blokes who get tonnes of girls, any girl they want and they still feel exactly the same way as you. There are a few very famous musicians who felt like you do. There are some famous people who used to feel like you. Have you read all Oz Sputnik's posts in the getting to know you section?

I still think you are a sad sack.

You still don't know things wouldn't be worse if you followed your original plan successfully.

Fearless, I hate to be blunt but I don't think you should be imposing yourself on any woman right now until you've sorted yourself out. Find something to devote your attention to that will take up your time and give you purpose. Take up some of donkey's suggestions as well and find some sort of support group or counselling.

When you have started to manage your problems, then you can focus on getting yourself a female companion. Not before. If you go into a relationship thinking that it will fill the void in your life, it will inevitably end as you'll be going into the relationship for purely selfish reasons. Relationships are about personal and emotional investment. You can't afford to make such an investment until you have something to bring to the table.

If what you're really interested in is 'getting layed', then until then the easiest way for you to fulfill this desire is go pay someone for it. There's no such thing as a free meal, so to speak, so until you can offer up a more palatable version of your current self, at least you provide someone's living.

JohnnysEntertainmentFan, you should not be so quick to judge, when only in retrospect are you able to understand suicide as you now do.

...Yeah, I understand it so I have advice about it. I said I was disgusted by a poster. I'm saying how I feel about an issue. Trying to justify suicide is a sick, perverted way of thinking.

I don't think he is trying to justify suicide, it sounds more like he's trying to explain why Fearless feels the way he does.

And IMHO suicide isn't necessarily an act of moral bankruptcy, but I don't think it'd be appropriate for me to discuss my views here further.