Women Presenting Differently

Page 1 of 2 [ 31 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

dobrolvr
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 31 Oct 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 211

24 Nov 2011, 9:59 pm

I've heard that a lot of women who are on the spectrum present much differently than the way AS is often thought to be. How many women out there is this true of, and even if you're male, in what ways do you know this to be true?



conundrum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 May 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,922
Location: third rock from one of many suns

24 Nov 2011, 11:01 pm

This may be useful--take a look at both tables.


_________________
The existence of the leader who is wise
is barely known to those he leads.
He acts without unnecessary speech,
so that the people say,
'It happened of its own accord.' -Tao Te Ching, Verse 17


sagan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jan 2011
Age: 111
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,788
Location: Land of the Lost

24 Nov 2011, 11:22 pm

Hmm. That chart creeps me out. 1000% me. Hmm... :scratch:


_________________
The stars look very different today.


glasstoria
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 468
Location: Missouri USA

24 Nov 2011, 11:50 pm

I can give you a few examples of what I think this means to me personally. It seems like for girls if you are really bad at talking to others, it is easier to be labeled shy, and hide in the corner (or behind my parents when I was small), so it was easier for people to think it was a personality difference not a problem that needed addressed. I wanted to avoid conflict and be liked, so I was very well behaved at school and didn't call attention to myself behaviorally.

As far as special interests go, grown ups don't really analyze how a little girl plays with dolls, so no one told me that it was strange to create an intricate family tree for my Barbies and Kens, instead of actually role playing conversations or "plots" and didn't really play Barbies with other children because all they did was talk to each other.

These days it is other things, like my best friend has a special interest and it is nail polish. That seems NT ish until you realize she has 100s of bottles of nail polish, and has them all in an Excel file, and one of the things we do when we get together is spread them out on the floor and sort them by color and then look at them for like two hours. hehe. :) It is socially acceptable for a woman to be obsessed with nail polish, but I just don't think NTs are obsessing quite so thoroughly about their collection.


_________________
Your Aspie score: 165 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 48 of 200
EQ 12 SQ 70 = Extreme Systemizer


quaker
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Aug 2010
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 556
Location: London

25 Nov 2011, 3:30 am

I understand the early socialization theory
- and how women are taught social skills from
and earlier age, hence can mask the signs.
However, this confuses me as surely a young
girl with AS would stick out like bittern in a pack
Sparrows?

Non autistic women are often telling me,
"Oh Chris, yr not the only one with autism,
all men are essentially autistic".......and
that most men are very anal.....generalizations
are such a bore. But this is a very commonly held belief.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

25 Nov 2011, 4:17 am

conundrum wrote:
This may be useful--take a look at both tables.


http://help4aspergers.com/pb/wp_a58d4f6 ... 1d2ab3.JPG

= In other term, female AS is an easier and milder condition than the male AS. At least, that how this table portrays it.

More prone to crying in public? This is a female trait (and related to cultural gender-role basis of raising), not a AS. In most cultures, it's shameful for males to cry in public, "men don't cry" is often among the first things fathers in the world say it to their young sons.

More jumpy, dancing, singing, and giggling when happy? All my female coworkers do those when they're happy (except hand flapping), it's not really an AS thing.

"hate injustice" ....ummm....yea right, AS females are Wonder Women and want to fight crime and achieve world peace.

"hate to be misunderstood" ---> WHO EVEN LIKES THAT?

"That can incite rage meltdown" --> whatever, then I am probably a female aspie.



9512
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 26 Oct 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 71

25 Nov 2011, 6:23 am

Judging by the title of the thread and the forum it's posted in, I thought "presenting differently" meant AS females expressing sexual interest differently from NTs during breeding season. :lol: ( I know baboons "present" by bending over and showing their back sides to male suitors.

8O

Sorry I misunderstood. :cry:



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

25 Nov 2011, 7:09 am

You're a one horny monkey, 9512.



9512
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 26 Oct 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 71

25 Nov 2011, 7:23 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You're a one horny monkey, 9512.


:twisted: dang skippy :wink:



Daedelus1138
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 28 Oct 2010
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 106

25 Nov 2011, 8:39 am

dobrolvr wrote:
I've heard that a lot of women who are on the spectrum present much differently than the way AS is often thought to be. How many women out there is this true of, and even if you're male, in what ways do you know this to be true?


Aspie males don't always present the way males are suppossed to either.



dobrolvr
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 31 Oct 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 211

25 Nov 2011, 11:09 am

glasstoria wrote:

These days it is other things, like my best friend has a special interest and it is nail polish. That seems NT ish until you realize she has 100s of bottles of nail polish, and has them all in an Excel file, and one of the things we do when we get together is spread them out on the floor and sort them by color and then look at them for like two hours. hehe. :) It is socially acceptable for a woman to be obsessed with nail polish, but I just don't think NTs are obsessing quite so thoroughly about their collection.


This sounds like me when I was younger! I had tubs full of nail polish. It was one of the very few traditionally feminine things I was interested in. I had a couple of friends who would come over and they would always want to paint their nails with my nail polish, but while they were painting their nails, I would just be looking at and sorting the polish. I never really had the solid motor skills that seemed to be necessary to paint nails anyway. :P



dobrolvr
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 31 Oct 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 211

25 Nov 2011, 11:11 am

conundrum wrote:
This may be useful--take a look at both tables.


Thanks, I'll take a look. :)



cil23
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 25 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 28
Location: Australia

25 Nov 2011, 11:12 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
conundrum wrote:
This may be useful--take a look at both tables.


http://help4aspergers.com/pb/wp_a58d4f6 ... 1d2ab3.JPG

= In other term, female AS is an easier and milder condition than the male AS. At least, that how this table portrays it.

More prone to crying in public? "hate injustice" ....ummm....yea right, AS females are Wonder Women and want to fight crime .


I have read this table and there are things on there i really dont agree with especially the crying in public. I was with my ex-husband for almost 10yrs and he only ever saw me cry 3 times. If i cry i do it very privately. If we had issues in our marriage i would go into control mode where i thought i was just taking the logical approach, but what he saw was a cold heart as most NT males want to be the night in shining armour and fix the womans problem and i was never soft enough or broken enough to fix. Its only now that i've discovered and been diognose that i can see this because it just seemed normal to me. As a kid at school AS girls do tend to be seen as shy but this is aceptable behavior for a girl. I wasn't shy as such, i was just sitting back wondering why these humans were doing this weird stuff lol.



Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,440
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

25 Nov 2011, 12:22 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
conundrum wrote:
This may be useful--take a look at both tables.


http://help4aspergers.com/pb/wp_a58d4f6 ... 1d2ab3.JPG

= In other term, female AS is an easier and milder condition than the male AS. At least, that how this table portrays it.

More prone to crying in public? This is a female trait (and related to cultural gender-role basis of raising), not a AS. In most cultures, it's shameful for males to cry in public, "men don't cry" is often among the first things fathers in the world say it to their young sons.

More jumpy, dancing, singing, and giggling when happy? All my female coworkers do those when they're happy (except hand flapping), it's not really an AS thing.

"hate injustice" ....ummm....yea right, AS females are Wonder Women and want to fight crime and achieve world peace.

"hate to be misunderstood" ---> WHO EVEN LIKES THAT?

"That can incite rage meltdown" --> whatever, then I am probably a female aspie.


Well I am glad some stupid chart claims I have it easier then males with AS simply because I am a female......lol my life says differently. I agree with the part were it says females recieve less tolerance and more expectations because I did run into that a lot of times I was really struggling with things and people would accuse me of being lazy, selfish ect. Which did not help matters.


_________________
We won't go back.


Sunshine7
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 218

25 Nov 2011, 4:02 pm

Quote:
Judging by the title of the thread and the forum it's posted in, I thought "presenting differently" meant AS females expressing sexual interest differently from NTs during breeding season. Laughing ( I know baboons "present" by bending over and showing their back sides to male suitors.


Yeah I thought this too. :P After all, that's the only valid grammatical use of the word "presenting" in this context...



dobrolvr
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 31 Oct 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 211

25 Nov 2011, 5:59 pm

Sunshine7 wrote:
Quote:
Judging by the title of the thread and the forum it's posted in, I thought "presenting differently" meant AS females expressing sexual interest differently from NTs during breeding season. Laughing ( I know baboons "present" by bending over and showing their back sides to male suitors.


Yeah I thought this too. :P After all, that's the only valid grammatical use of the word "presenting" in this context...


Sorry if it was misleading, or vague. Vagueness seems to be one of my weak points. :P