Why does sexual attraction have anything to do with dating?
ValentineWiggin
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I'm an asexual, and couldn't disagree more.
Romance has absolutely nothing to do with physicality or sexuality, for me, nor, when it comes down to it, "poetry", "artistry", or "etiquette".
You don't have to be asexual to feel that way.
Then it might as well just be a really good friend. It wouldn't even have to be the opposite sex.
so a romantic relationship is the same as friends with benefits
To people who cannot see, or refuse to acknowledge the difference between romantic and sexual attraction,
it most certainly would seem that way.
Kind of sad.
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of the human Heart, that very few Men, who have no Property, have any Judgment of their own.
They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
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Joker
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maybe to you, but not to everyone. there are other beautiful connections people can have besides physical/sexual.
True for example I have dated girls that I wasn't sexually attracted to but loved hanging out with them.
diniesaur
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Two things:
1. To me, sexual attraction is completely visual; personality has nothing to do with it. This is why attractive males are so rare.
2. I am willing to have sex with people I do not find sexually attractive. Sex feels good, no matter how ugly the person attached to the penis or breasts is. Besides, penises are hideous. Does that mean I can never have sex using a penis?
Also, if you don't like someone's personality or attitude, why would they be attractive as a friend if they're not attractive to you as a person to date?
I'm an asexual, and couldn't disagree more.
Romance has absolutely nothing to do with physicality or sexuality, for me, nor, when it comes down to it, "poetry", "artistry", or "etiquette".
You don't have to be asexual to feel that way.
Then it might as well just be a really good friend. It wouldn't even have to be the opposite sex.
so a romantic relationship is the same as friends with benefits
To people who cannot see, or refuse to acknowledge the difference between romantic and sexual attraction,
it most certainly would seem that way.
Kind of sad.
It is. Romance with the absence of sex can actually be quite a beautiful thing. It's not necessarily something I desire, but it's something I understand and appreciate nonetheless.
It is quite common for people to equate romance to sex, and I feel that the two can overlap at times. Some people are generally more sexually driven than others.
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But I've had sex with someone who I didn't find sexually attractive, and I enjoyed it very much. Sex is fun, whether or not I'm actually attracted to someone.
Isn't that techincally using someone else's body to masturbate against (am I allowed to say something so crass here?)
That doesn't sound very romantic. Romance is quiet enjoyable.
diniesaur
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But I've had sex with someone who I didn't find sexually attractive, and I enjoyed it very much. Sex is fun, whether or not I'm actually attracted to someone.
Isn't that techincally using someone else's body to masturbate against (am I allowed to say something so crass here?)
That doesn't sound very romantic. Romance is quiet enjoyable.
The sex and the romance are separate here. Yes, I was dating that person, but my point is that sex feels good and I don't need someone to look attractive to me to enjoy sex with them. It has nothing to do with who I date; I was just explaining why I wouldn't hurt someone's feelings if they were dating me and wanted a sexual relationship with me.
ValentineWiggin
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Joined: 15 May 2011
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I'm an asexual, and couldn't disagree more.
Romance has absolutely nothing to do with physicality or sexuality, for me, nor, when it comes down to it, "poetry", "artistry", or "etiquette".
You don't have to be asexual to feel that way.
Then it might as well just be a really good friend. It wouldn't even have to be the opposite sex.
so a romantic relationship is the same as friends with benefits
To people who cannot see, or refuse to acknowledge the difference between romantic and sexual attraction,
it most certainly would seem that way.
Kind of sad.
It is. Romance with the absence of sex can actually be quite a beautiful thing. It's not necessarily something I desire, but it's something I understand and appreciate nonetheless.
It is quite common for people to equate romance to sex, and I feel that the two can overlap at times. Some people are generally more sexually driven than others.
Definitely. That's a legitimate experience- I'd only hope more people wouldn't marginalize or declare non-existent non-sexual romantic love and/or attraction.
_________________
"Such is the Frailty
of the human Heart, that very few Men, who have no Property, have any Judgment of their own.
They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
to his Interest."
Joker
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Joined: 19 Mar 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)
I have a friend that he has everything that I want (genius, smart, nice, wise, tall, kind, polite, and he's really really my type!) but I don't know I value him as my friend! I am not sexually attracted to him. I'd rather be his sister. We have ever fooled people (including teachers!) in our school that we are... COUSINS and they magically believe us! Most of students have discovered the truth, but I don't know about the teacher I don't know I can't be happier other than being his "cousin". Does anyone can explain this?
On the other hand, I am sexually interested to another boy which is lived in the other country in Europe while I'm in Asia. He's not that handsome, not that tall, not that smart, not that good-type (he drank beer everyday before his birthday of 15 and it continues till now, he's 18), and has already has a girlfriend. I know he was just playing with me but I inevitably sexually attracted to him! Poor me, for me love is something that has no correlation with sexual attraction-- I do love my "cousin" and I would do everything for him. But I don't love my crush, I am just "sexually interested." We almost went on a dating, but it failed because I didn't understand what did his words mean while he asked me for a date.
Well,even myself don't understand what happens. Really.
Having a healthy sex life is just another thing that is a part of being happy and satisfied with your life.
That said, being sexually attracted to your partner helps fulfill that need.
I don't think someone could be satisfied sexually if they weren't sexually attracted to their partner.
That's not to say you can't make yourself more attractive to your partner, or that it's all physical or visual.
Sharing the same sexual habits and interests can make or break sexual attractiveness for some people.
Being physically attractive can be the gateway to discovering sexual habits, however.
(Note: There are sex therapists whose main job is to help couples have a better sex life.)
But I've had sex with someone who I didn't find sexually attractive, and I enjoyed it very much. Sex is fun, whether or not I'm actually attracted to someone.
You have a different definition of sexual attractiveness than I do. My definition is that sexual attractiveness is basically a scale of how much you want to partake in sexual interactions with that person. In other words, if you are willing to have sex with a person, then by definition, you are sexually attracted. (Unless you are having sex out of pity or some other reason besides just wanting to.)
diniesaur
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Joined: 2 Sep 2011
Age: 29
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Having a healthy sex life is just another thing that is a part of being happy and satisfied with your life.
That said, being sexually attracted to your partner helps fulfill that need.
I don't think someone could be satisfied sexually if they weren't sexually attracted to their partner.
That's not to say you can't make yourself more attractive to your partner, or that it's all physical or visual.
Sharing the same sexual habits and interests can make or break sexual attractiveness for some people.
Being physically attractive can be the gateway to discovering sexual habits, however.
(Note: There are sex therapists whose main job is to help couples have a better sex life.)
But I've had sex with someone who I didn't find sexually attractive, and I enjoyed it very much. Sex is fun, whether or not I'm actually attracted to someone.
You have a different definition of sexual attractiveness than I do. My definition is that sexual attractiveness is basically a scale of how much you want to partake in sexual interactions with that person. In other words, if you are willing to have sex with a person, then by definition, you are sexually attracted. (Unless you are having sex out of pity or some other reason besides just wanting to.)
I can see how different definitions of sexual attractiveness can lead to confusion.
On the other hand, I am sexually interested to another boy which is lived in the other country in Europe while I'm in Asia. He's not that handsome, not that tall, not that smart, not that good-type (he drank beer everyday before his birthday of 15 and it continues till now, he's 1, and has already has a girlfriend. I know he was just playing with me but I inevitably sexually attracted to him! Poor me, for me love is something that has no correlation with sexual attraction-- I do love my "cousin" and I would do everything for him. But I don't love my crush, I am just "sexually interested." We almost went on a dating, but it failed because I didn't understand what did his words mean while he asked me for a date.
Well,even myself don't understand what happens. Really.
Why would you date someone you don't love if dating can lead to marriage?
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