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hyperlexian
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12 Jan 2012, 11:09 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
You know I have not tried actually browsing profiles and looking to see if I find anyone who looks intresting enough to messege...maybe that would be a good option I mean I know what I'm looking for more or less and waiting for someone who fits that description to messege me is not working out so well.

yes. i didn't usually wait for people to message me as i kinda liked taking the initiative. but not everyone is like that.

even if you don't send a message, visiting someone's profile is a way of grabbing their attention. if they visit your profile after that but don't message you, try going to their profile a second time on another day as it's a way of signalling interest. sorta like finding reasons to accidentally-on-purpose bump into someone in real life.

another signal is to rate them highly, which they can only see if they rate you highly in return. then you both get an automated message and things can flow from there. it's like an icebreaker for the shy people.


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Sweetleaf
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14 Jan 2012, 4:02 pm

Seriously, a guy who gets how I feel about things and can relate, has a simular lifestyle and is involved with the occupy movement that for whatever stupid reason I did not messege months ago when he sent me a messege talking to me? Hmm glad I finally did get around to messeging him back.

I am not jumping into anything though, I've been hurt by doing that too many times but I certainly do want to hook up with this dude and see where things go.


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rabbittss
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14 Jan 2012, 4:38 pm

I had started messaging a really interesting young woman last week, but my impatience to talk to her more has likely killed the chance of that happening. I didn't take into consideration not everyone has as much free time as I do, and I sent a bunch of messages and then freaked out thinking she didn't want to talk to me because she never responded.

Oh well. Thats standard for me. The very things I'm afraid of happening I usually wind up causing.



The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Jan 2012, 6:03 pm

In most of my attempts, I find nothing on Okcupid but Israeli girls.



CrazyStarlightRedux
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14 Jan 2012, 6:14 pm

I wish I could do what you guys did, but I don't see how long distance relationships work.

I talked to a woman who was really intelligent and we talked about everything. She was just perfect for me but I don't think anything would have happened anyways. Plus she has her problems with relatiomships it seems....from the things we talked about, they sounded like Autistic qualities, and mentioned them to her but she doesn't think she has it.

Anyways, keep looking SweetLeaf. I am sure you'll find someone.

Miss.Earl Grey is right too! Although you need to read their posts first to make a judgement.



Sweetleaf
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14 Jan 2012, 6:31 pm

CrazyStarlightRedux wrote:
I wish I could do what you guys did, but I don't see how long distance relationships work.

I talked to a woman who was really intelligent and we talked about everything. She was just perfect for me but I don't think anything would have happened anyways. Plus she has her problems with relatiomships it seems....from the things we talked about, they sounded like Autistic qualities, and mentioned them to her but she doesn't think she has it.

Anyways, keep looking SweetLeaf. I am sure you'll find someone.

Miss.Earl Grey is right too! Although you need to read their posts first to make a judgement.


I can't do long distance relationships, I really only talk to people who live a reasonable distance from me I don't consider it dating until we meet in person.


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CrazyStarlightRedux
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14 Jan 2012, 6:42 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
CrazyStarlightRedux wrote:
I wish I could do what you guys did, but I don't see how long distance relationships work.

I talked to a woman who was really intelligent and we talked about everything. She was just perfect for me but I don't think anything would have happened anyways. Plus she has her problems with relatiomships it seems....from the things we talked about, they sounded like Autistic qualities, and mentioned them to her but she doesn't think she has it.

Anyways, keep looking SweetLeaf. I am sure you'll find someone.

Miss.Earl Grey is right too! Although you need to read their posts first to make a judgement.


I can't do long distance relationships, I really only talk to people who live a reasonable distance from me I don't consider it dating until we meet in person.


Oh that's good then. I assumed you and a few others did the long distance thing.

It's hard to find someone in the area, but you'll get these eventually.



Sweetleaf
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14 Jan 2012, 7:05 pm

CrazyStarlightRedux wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
CrazyStarlightRedux wrote:
I wish I could do what you guys did, but I don't see how long distance relationships work.

I talked to a woman who was really intelligent and we talked about everything. She was just perfect for me but I don't think anything would have happened anyways. Plus she has her problems with relatiomships it seems....from the things we talked about, they sounded like Autistic qualities, and mentioned them to her but she doesn't think she has it.

Anyways, keep looking SweetLeaf. I am sure you'll find someone.

Miss.Earl Grey is right too! Although you need to read their posts first to make a judgement.


I can't do long distance relationships, I really only talk to people who live a reasonable distance from me I don't consider it dating until we meet in person.


Oh that's good then. I assumed you and a few others did the long distance thing.

It's hard to find someone in the area, but you'll get these eventually.


Well in highschool I moved for a year and me and the guy I was sort of dating wrote letters, then I moved back and we sorta went our seperate ways. I figure online long distance relationships would be kind of like that so no need to bother with it.


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CrazyStarlightRedux
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14 Jan 2012, 7:08 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
Well in highschool I moved for a year and me and the guy I was sort of dating wrote letters, then I moved back and we sorta went our seperate ways. I figure online long distance relationships would be kind of like that so no need to bother with it.


That's quite sad...but I guess it happens.

Exactly, I don't get the whole online dating thing...since you'll rarely ever see them...and when you do...what can you actually do?



Sweetleaf
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16 Jan 2012, 3:17 pm

CrazyStarlightRedux wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Well in highschool I moved for a year and me and the guy I was sort of dating wrote letters, then I moved back and we sorta went our seperate ways. I figure online long distance relationships would be kind of like that so no need to bother with it.


That's quite sad...but I guess it happens.

Exactly, I don't get the whole online dating thing...since you'll rarely ever see them...and when you do...what can you actually do?


Well I was kinda sad about it at the time, but now not so much.......I mean any relationships in highschool tend not to last anyways. But yeah the internet can be good to find someone your interested in to possibly meet up with in person and see how things go.


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SoftlyStepping
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17 Jan 2012, 1:29 pm

CrazyStarlightRedux wrote:
Oh that's good then. I assumed you and a few others did the long distance thing.
Women usually prefer long distance relationships due to low pressure for the relationship to progress. Men usually prefer local women, due to the same dynamics.
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
In most of my attempts, I find nothing on Okcupid but Israeli girls.
Israeli girls are hot.
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You know what's depressing? Match.com. A lot of profiles there are exactly the same:
Hi I'm Trixy! I'm soo pretty and unique! I'm looking for a strong manly man with full body tattoos and a big truck to take me away to his mansion and help me try new things!
The women on Match.com are more likely to have a good career. By the same token, they have not had the time to learn quality romantic skills and are quite boring to talk to.
Magnus_Rex wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
You know I have not tried actually browsing profiles and looking to see if I find anyone who looks intresting enough to messege...maybe that would be a good option I mean I know what I'm looking for more or less and waiting for someone who fits that description to messege me is not working out so well.
If you want results, you should be more active. That should be obvious. But I do not blame you: I used to take the same "passive-aggressive" approach to dating before.
The most popular profile possible attracts between 100 and 700 new guys every week. The ones who have expressed interest are the most likely to build a relationship. Guys typically want to be the ones to initiate.



The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Jan 2012, 2:57 pm

^ they are, but dating them is unfeasible right now, maybe in my entire lifetime ;p



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17 Jan 2012, 5:17 pm

SoftlyStepping wrote:
The most popular profile possible attracts between 100 and 700 new guys every week. The ones who have expressed interest are the most likely to build a relationship. Guys typically want to be the ones to initiate.


But since it is not working for her, she should try a different approach.



MXH
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17 Jan 2012, 5:34 pm

ohh boy. I can feel my ever so terrible relationship related depression coming in.



nick007
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17 Jan 2012, 5:39 pm

Magnus_Rex wrote:
SoftlyStepping wrote:
The most popular profile possible attracts between 100 and 700 new guys every week. The ones who have expressed interest are the most likely to build a relationship. Guys typically want to be the ones to initiate.


But since it is not working for her, she should try a different approach.

Guys on dating sites generally get most of their messages ignored so lots would probably love it if a girl took the initiative to message them 1st. I know I sure would


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DanRaccoon
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17 Jan 2012, 6:33 pm

nick007 wrote:
Magnus_Rex wrote:
SoftlyStepping wrote:
The most popular profile possible attracts between 100 and 700 new guys every week. The ones who have expressed interest are the most likely to build a relationship. Guys typically want to be the ones to initiate.


But since it is not working for her, she should try a different approach.

Guys on dating sites generally get most of their messages ignored so lots would probably love it if a girl took the initiative to message them 1st. I know I sure would


Would be nice if girls made the same effort as guys, they're the one that tend to want the relationship more after all :/


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