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Asperger's/Autism Love Success Stories (Sticky)

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hyperlexian
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01 Mar 2012, 2:10 pm

Luska wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Luska, it's a copyright violation to post entire articles. you are going to want to go back and edit your posts so that you just quote parts of them, and link to the rest. thank you!


Oh Im sorry I didnt know that. But just curious, I always thought the NYTimes was fine with sharing? I could be wrong.

sharing means posting the link, not copying the whole article.


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AliTatt
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02 Mar 2012, 12:20 am

Quote:
women with Asperger’s syndrome often seek a partner with a personality similar to themselves.


Definitely my case. A lot of people said that my partner (over the internet) seemed to be A LOT like me. Like, male me. But when we met in person, he actually proved to be rather different which made me love him more.

and then, 6 months later, I flew across the world to live with him and his family. (Siblings and parents) We were each others first serious relationship, and have been together for 20 months now (: I admit that my Asperger's DOES get in the way a lot, but it doesn't really hurt my emotional expression, and I can read strong emotions easily. He has helped me understand myself, and helped me learn how to be more "normal". My partner, his mother, and his aunt had all diagnosed me within 3 months of me moving in, and he finally told me just about a month ago.

Relationships are a bit of a challenge to me because I kept finding the wrong people. Jocks who only cared for looks, people who are better off friends, or people who I can't believe were ever allowed in my social circle. My current boyfriend finally makes me feel like the relationship is "right", how things are supposed to be, and it's an amazing feeling.

so, in summary:
- first 3 relationships (1 of them long-distance) failed
- first serious relationship started online and we now live together
- through NOT actively searching, we found the right person
- he understands and helps me cope with AS


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Your Aspie score: 158 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 56 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


kojot
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02 Mar 2012, 5:31 am

Chooty wrote:
I disagree with the idea that people with asperger are less attentive/affectionate. Maybe in general it's true, but I am by a miles lead the more affectionate partner in my relationship, very flirty & attentive.

I guess succes start by aiming for the right person, something that could help a lot o people who are struggeling.


I second that. I'm very attentive and affectionate. To the point of obsession.

mv wrote:
I also disagree a bit with Attwood. Firstly, there's almost nothing on women with Aspergers and what little there is, is hopelessly pigeonholed. For example, I have a very healthy sex drive, even post-children. Also, I may be naive in some respects, but I'm very worldly in others.


Yes, I was just beginning to think maybe I'm the only one ;) I have very high sex drive and very good sex life, passionate and intense.



kojot
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02 Mar 2012, 5:33 am

The-Raven wrote:
mv wrote:
I also disagree a bit with Attwood. Firstly, there's almost nothing on women with Aspergers and what little there is, is hopelessly pigeonholed. For example, I have a very healthy sex drive, even post-children. Also, I may be naive in some respects, but I'm very worldly in others.

that chapter is mostly based on maxine astons research, she is the one who invented 'cassandra affective disorder' where an aspie causes mental illness in their NT partner. http://www.maxineaston.co.uk/cassandra/
She is not a Dr and only has a psyhology degree, msc and counseling diploma and is an ex wife of an aspie. Most books on aspergers mainly reference her in their relationship chapters, giving them all a negative slant. This is because there is a dearth of research on aspie relationships and so hers is used, despite not being qualified to do research and not being peer reviewed. I think this is a great shame, and hopefully as time goes on more research will be done on aspie relationships and hers will not be the main material used for chapters anymore.

That whole chapter is horrible and says really nasty stuff about aspies as parents, which has bad implications/effects for court custody and social services (such as saying the NT is a 'natural' parenting expert and should have custody and children often hate their aspie parent).


Now it starts to make sense. Another pathetic psychologist that mixes facts with opinions. She is hardly objective and scientific, on the contrary.