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JanuaryMan
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26 May 2013, 5:43 pm

Edit: Thread edited. Sorry to rabbit on! :lol:



Last edited by JanuaryMan on 26 May 2013, 7:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

cathylynn
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26 May 2013, 5:52 pm

I had feelings for my study partner. when he said he didn't reciprocate, I adjusted my expectations and the feelings gradually went away. please try not to feel guilty for your feelings. feelings aren't right or wrong. they just are.



smudge
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26 May 2013, 6:17 pm

1) Learn to think of nothing.

2) Find every single fault in her. See the beauty in other women. Take the piss out of her (in your mind) because you've placed her on a pedestal and you have a lot/too much respect for her at the moment. You need to devalue her in your mind.

3) Ask yourself if you only really want her because she is unavailable.

4) Keep yourself as busy as possible to take your mind off her. Playing loud music helps drown out thoughts, and almost helps to "play out" emotions so they're easier to handle.

5) In your mind, play the situation over and over again of her turning out into someone you don't get along with, or things not working out i.e. in the scene you get into a relationship and everything fails because she does keeps doing something unattractive. You have to have control over your mind in the first place though in order to do things like this, as in, if you're prone to depression or looking down on other people - don't do it. You've got to be able to stop negative thinking if it goes too far. If you do no. 2, you can develop a powerful mind that's very in control.

6) There is no such thing as "The One". Think of previous relationships where you no longer have any feelings for those people, and apply it to the current situation. You will get over her.

7) Identify everything annoying about her, or potentially annoying things.

8) For all the good things you see in her, identify them in other people...as many as you can. Don't give up on this and think, "Damn it, she really is better than everyone else"...because she probably isn't.



JanuaryMan
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26 May 2013, 6:41 pm

Edited.



Last edited by JanuaryMan on 26 May 2013, 7:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

aspiemike
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26 May 2013, 6:55 pm

The same as Cathylinn said. Feelings don't necessarily disappear either. You just end up learning how to control them in ways that will prevent you from destroying whatever connection you two developed over the last couple years. From your last post, it sounds like she values your friendship and whatever connection you two have to throw it away over the fact you developed stronger feelings for her than she did for you.



Shatbat
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26 May 2013, 6:58 pm

I'll edit this one too then, you've already read it anyway and it also contains sensitive information.


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Last edited by Shatbat on 26 May 2013, 8:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

JanuaryMan
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26 May 2013, 7:31 pm

Thank you, man. I just needed to get this out there and see how others feel I should deal with this situation. So thanks for your replies everyone. I'm going to edit the thread and my posts in case they find it. They know my WP handle and even though they wouldn't come looking here one can never be too careful :)



1401b
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26 May 2013, 8:06 pm

How to get rid of feelings? Lobotomy I'd say, though I'm not sure which lobe has the right feelings.
Historically though Castration has had pretty good successes at stopping those kinds of feelings.
Do those seem a bit extreme? Then you're getting my point. =)

You could try pretending you're gay when she's around, that might actually be doable.
I do actually know a workable solution that's fast, easy, comfortable.
I just don't know how to do it over the internet.

Not w/out a good webcam.

Find some people to fund us a decent webcam and I'll show you.


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JanuaryMan
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26 May 2013, 8:10 pm

1401b wrote:
How to get rid of feelings? Lobotomy I'd say, though I'm not sure which lobe has the right feelings.
Historically though Castration has had pretty good successes at stopping those kinds of feelings.
Do those seem a bit extreme? Then you're getting my point. =)

You could try pretending you're gay when she's around, that might actually be doable.
I do actually know a workable solution that's fast, easy, comfortable.
I just don't know how to do it over the internet.

Not w/out a good webcam.

Find some people to fund us a decent webcam and I'll show you.


Ooooo-kay. A little freaked out by this.
For the record, that is not doable.