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Sheerboredom
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24 May 2013, 1:50 pm

Okay so I finally asked out this girl who I think is cute. Well you know the lady's man that I am all smooth and such you know asked her if she would like to see a movie sometime. So well her response was I don't know.

How do I proceed from here, should I assume she meant no, yes, or I don't know? This is the closest answer to a yes I have ever gotten so I don't know how to proceed.


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sacrip
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24 May 2013, 2:44 pm

"I don't know" is pretty much a "no". She might change her mind later, but for now just assume she's not interested.


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24 May 2013, 2:46 pm

I would assume that "I don't know" in this context is femspeak for either:

    #1 - "I would like to go out with you, but not to a movie."

    - OR -

    #2 - "I would like to go to a movie, but not with you."
If subsequent suggestions of different activities result in the same "I don't know" answer each time, then it would be safe to further assume that #2 is the more correct meaning. In which case, you would be well advised to seek female companionship elsewhere.



rainbowglowing
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24 May 2013, 4:56 pm

Have you met IRL?

Also did you ask her out to the cinema or to watch a movie at home?



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24 May 2013, 5:45 pm

Sheerboredom wrote:
Okay so I finally asked out this girl who I think is cute. Well you know the lady's man that I am all smooth and such you know asked her if she would like to see a movie sometime. So well her response was I don't know.

How do I proceed from here, should I assume she meant no, yes, or I don't know? This is the closest answer to a yes I have ever gotten so I don't know how to proceed.


    Sometime?? Would you like to go see a movie sometime??
    You just told that girl that YOU don't know if YOU want to go! LOL OMG *blush* done that!
    She merely answered you with the same.

Besides, which movie? which night? which showing? are you going to try to hold her hand during the movie? put your arm around her?
what if you both hate it?
what if only one of you hates it and the other likes it?
what if one says likes but probably doesn't
(I'm meaning the movie here)

I'd recommend having some coffee or lunch, and small talk a while.
find out what kind of movies she likes, when she needs to be home (work or school or dad?)
find out what she hasn't seen and what she'd like to.
But for god's sakes don't drill her with all this stuff, just chat.

TELL her you'd like to take her to lunch/coffee (name a day within 2 days, tomorrow or next)
If she really can't she'll probably counter-offer a different day (you still buy) =)
It'll help a lot if you blush, but keep at it -women love to see a man squirm, it'll make her day. =)

If she gives you some wishy-washiness ask her about a different (specific) day, if it's still lameness just say "ok, maybe later" (that's just an exit, you don't need to mean it) and move on to greener gals.


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24 May 2013, 7:14 pm

Movies have no chance for conversation. Other types of dates or hangouts would allow some talking. Another part of the movie is that most teenage boys like taking girls to a movie for a chance to make out. Can't say the girl didn't like you when you asked her, but she may not have been comfortable with the idea of going to a movie with you.



Sheerboredom
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24 May 2013, 8:42 pm

rainbowglowing wrote:
Have you met IRL?

Also did you ask her out to the cinema or to watch a movie at home?

Yes we go to the same, the joys of being seventeen.


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Sheerboredom
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24 May 2013, 8:44 pm

aspiemike wrote:
Movies have no chance for conversation. Other types of dates or hangouts would allow some talking. Another part of the movie is that most teenage boys like taking girls to a movie for a chance to make out. Can't say the girl didn't like you when you asked her, but she may not have been comfortable with the idea of going to a movie with you.


Your probably right but it was all I could think of within the time allowed by my friend and her friends before they asked for me.

By the way how do multiquote on this forum?


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24 May 2013, 9:32 pm

It's not definitively a "no." It is likely one - but not necessarily. It could be she is just shy.

It would also depend on the tone of voice she said it in. For example, "I don't knowwwww" *acts like she's thinking or avoids eye contact* + *looks up* = "I am kind of flustered; I'm not into this guy, or it's blah, and don't want to go, but I'm not prepared to turn him down directly"

Or "I dunno|" *looks down or turns red* = "I am anxious, and it caught me by surprise" = quite possibly a yes. Ask her again some other time, and if she has been beating herself up about flaking out the first time, she will very quickly accept the next time.



Sheerboredom
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24 May 2013, 11:37 pm

Tyri0n wrote:
It's not definitively a "no." It is likely one - but not necessarily. It could be she is just shy.

It would also depend on the tone of voice she said it in. For example, "I don't knowwwww" *acts like she's thinking or avoids eye contact* + *looks up* = "I am kind of flustered; I'm not into this guy, or it's blah, and don't want to go, but I'm not prepared to turn him down directly"

Or "I dunno|" *looks down or turns red* = "I am anxious, and it caught me by surprise" = quite possibly a yes. Ask her again some other time, and if she has been beating herself up about flaking out the first time, she will very quickly accept the next time.

She was smiling when she said I don't know, and glanced back towards me a few time during class after that.


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Tyri0n
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24 May 2013, 11:43 pm

Sheerboredom wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
It's not definitively a "no." It is likely one - but not necessarily. It could be she is just shy.

It would also depend on the tone of voice she said it in. For example, "I don't knowwwww" *acts like she's thinking or avoids eye contact* + *looks up* = "I am kind of flustered; I'm not into this guy, or it's blah, and don't want to go, but I'm not prepared to turn him down directly"

Or "I dunno|" *looks down or turns red* = "I am anxious, and it caught me by surprise" = quite possibly a yes. Ask her again some other time, and if she has been beating herself up about flaking out the first time, she will very quickly accept the next time.

She was smiling when she said I don't know, and glanced back towards me a few time during class after that.


Did she smile at you when she glanced at you during class, or did she look anxious, or annoyed?



rainbowglowing
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25 May 2013, 1:57 am

Sheerboredom wrote:
rainbowglowing wrote:
Have you met IRL?

Also did you ask her out to the cinema or to watch a movie at home?

Yes we go to the same, the joys of being seventeen.


:D Its not a no. You maybe caught her by surprise.

Well done on asking her :D great start.

Have you exchanged phone numbers?



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25 May 2013, 4:02 am

Yes, it probably caught her by surprise. She doesn't really know what the answer is herself as she's never fathomed the possibility of getting asked the question.
In my experience when I was asked out like that, I was thrown for a loop by the shock revelation that someone was even interested in me, which meant It took me a little while to comprehend things and decide on a yes or no answer. Unless she has dating on her mind and has pre-assessed a few guys (including you) as potentials you can't really expect her to answer right on the spot like that.



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25 May 2013, 10:55 am

Move on, and don't over analyze it. If she wanted to do something she would. Her loss, go find someone who wants you.



Sheerboredom
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25 May 2013, 12:53 pm

Tyri0n wrote:
Sheerboredom wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
It's not definitively a "no." It is likely one - but not necessarily. It could be she is just shy.

It would also depend on the tone of voice she said it in. For example, "I don't knowwwww" *acts like she's thinking or avoids eye contact* + *looks up* = "I am kind of flustered; I'm not into this guy, or it's blah, and don't want to go, but I'm not prepared to turn him down directly"

Or "I dunno|" *looks down or turns red* = "I am anxious, and it caught me by surprise" = quite possibly a yes. Ask her again some other time, and if she has been beating herself up about flaking out the first time, she will very quickly accept the next time.

She was smiling when she said I don't know, and glanced back towards me a few time during class after that.


Did she smile at you when she glanced at you during class, or did she look anxious, or annoyed?

She smiled, joku I don't give up until I get a straight answer. (This applies toward everything)


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25 May 2013, 1:12 pm

I would joke by something like: "then let's brainstorm together over a cup of coffee, we might find the answer!" or "ok, let's have a coffee together then, it might help you figure it out"

^ in that way she would have to say either yes or no, there's no third option - so you would get the real answer on the spot.