Ever been obsessed with several people?

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I will admit that I have many times. I have been obssessed with 3 different men and all three times they didn't work out and we're not even friends anymore. Right now I am obssessed with someone who lives 4 hours away from me but I'm dating and in love with someone else so it doesn't really make much sense. He ignores my text messages and even threatened if I call him that he'd change his number. I took that literally and haven't called him but I keep stupidly sending text messages with of course no reply (he may have changed his number anyway). I probably gave him ammunition by telling him (I trusted him) that I have Asperger's and get obsessed with things. He likely thinks I'm a freak now but I know I'm not. But I can't get him out of my mind...what do I do?

How would your boyfriend feel if he found this out?

I know this is hard for you, and Aspie's can be obsessive - my boyfriend was obsessed for nearly 7 years with this woman he knew (ugh... the very thought makes me jealous but that's another story! ). So I know this is all easier said than done, but erase the other man's number from your phone immediately. Can someone else take your phone and block his number? If you feel you have enough strength to block it yourself, obviously that is the best thing but you probably need to erect some barriers so that you actually have no way to contact this man anymore.

He obviously does not want any relationship with you. He has made this clear. Try to remind yourself of this as often as you can, even if it hurts. It is for the best for you, your boyfriend and the other man that you remember that your boyfriend is the one who wants you, not this other guy.

And you're not a freak. ((hugs)) But remember, he doesn't like nor understand your obsession with him and he likely never will.

I have completely deleted him and blocked him from Skype. Had enough of his games and he never intended on dating me anyway. I feel so guilty too since my boyfriend really loves me.

No worries. I think everyone at some point or another falls victim to this type of behavior. The only type of men I have become "obsessed" with are men who play games and I think it is because any sort of attention amongst the lack of attention is like a dopamine drug. A person who can act "normal" towards me does not have this effect (which is a good thing IMO).

I know they'll break up someday and he'll be looking for me but I'll ignore him too. What goes around comes around and he doesn't deserve the time of day anymore. Why am I still blaming myself for his cowardice?

I hate that I can't let him go!!

Of course, there's been several women I've been infatuated with over the years from complete strangers to one of my closest friends. Being alone ALL the time will do that to a person.

I think everyone at one time or another has had a "crush" while dating someone else. Reasons are numerous.

The key is to let it pass and not act on it.

It sounds like it's getting a little out of hand, and it shouldn't be because he doesn't seem very respectful.

He kept telling me that he was going to dump his girlfriend who allegedly was a "b***h and didn't sleep with him" and who he fought with all the time. I don't think he had the balls to leave her so he did the chickenshit thing and just cut me out of his life with no explanation yet again. He claimed he matured the last few years...no he didn't. It has drawn me closer to my boyfriend who I love.

Being committed doesn't make all others in the world automatically unattractive. Having crushes or liking other people is quite the norm.
The main thing is knowing that this is just a crush, and to push it aside. If you can't then either you aren't ready to commit or the person you are with isn't the right one for you.

A lot of people deal with this obsession by finding celebrity crushes - TV people out of any contact or reach that partners find "cute" when their partner obsesses over them. That might work for you

P.S. I've matured over the years is one of those things that people say that holds little substance a bit like "you don't know me" "I don't care (normally said when they are 110% caring!)"

I'm not saying that i don't look at other girls and think they're attractive when i like one particular person, just i do find that they're pale imitations compared to the real thing. I can only be properly interested in one person at a time. Then to like someone else i have to be fully over that person before i properly consider someone else.

I know i wouldn't be happy to be the ops boyfriend. Not at all. I'd walk away and i wouldn't walk back, no offense intended.

I feel so guilty for kinda thinking about this other guy when I'm in a committed relationship already. And the fact that he's ignoring me and just cut me off cold turkey speaks volumes about what kind of person he is.

Don't want the guy anymore as what he did was very unattractive.

I think once you start telling yourself it wasn't just him being in the wrong, then you might be able to overcome this obsession of yours. The guy might have been a jerk but he did the right thing and called it quits, a) because he was committed b) because you were committed. If anything you are bitter about the rejection. I strongly advise you get over this. Your partner's feelings towards you are a million times of more significance (as are your feelings of your partner).

If my boyfriend ever found out about this, he'd never speak to me again. This is why I need to cut my losses and move on.

It's an absolutely agonizing situation, and in the end I (personally) find that up until the exact moment you make your decision you won't really be sure what to do.
I ended up in a somewhat similar situation, but my decision was relatively simple- one of the guys was loving, sweet, honest, trustworthy and someone I knew I could count on, whereas the other one was erratic, manipulative, and borderline abusive.

He has since changed his number...someone else has his number now.

I looked back at the whole relationship and realized that he wasn't meant to be my boyfriend anyway. He only texted or called when he felt like it or was drunk...so I don't need someone like that and hope he has bad luck from now on and that his girlfriend miscarriages or breaks off their upcoming marriage.