the secret in why women play games with men

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yellowtamarin
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24 Aug 2012, 7:28 am

Stalk wrote:
so yellowtamarin has got more of a male mind, yet expects men to know things and it appears she expects men to do the pursuing. yellowtamarin, have you done some pursuing of your own and what was your experience?

When did I say I expect men to do the pursuing? Everything I've said is in response to the OP, which is talking about the situation (as I understand it) where a man has approached a women, she has left, but expects the man to understand that this means he should go after her. I haven't said anything about me pursuing men. I do pursue men, and the situation is exactly the same. If he leaves me, I allow him to do what he needs to do and if he is interested he can come back to me.

EDIT: I have reread the OP and see the scenario talks about the woman going up to the man, not the other way around. I think I got confused where aSKpergers said something about "you know he's interested". Anyway, that doesn't change my views though, everything still applies.

As for expecting men to know things, what are you referring to? I see it quite differently. Okay yes, I would like to be able to expect a man to know that if I end the conversation and walk away from him, that that doesn't mean I want him to follow after me. That's not any kind of special "understanding women" thing, it seems like common sense to me. What the OP is talking about seems like less common sense, that if I walk away from him, I expect him to understand that that means I want him to follow me. The latter takes some sort of skill as you are understanding something that isn't apparent. The former, in my view, is not very hard at all to see if you take things as they appear. It's like if I hold out my hand, I expect you to understand that I want you to shake it. Do I have to say that out loud just in case you didn't realise?



aSKperger
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24 Aug 2012, 11:18 am

Quote:
I think I did ask earlier if the body language stuff would also be considered part of the game. If so, then fair enough. But in my view that's just a different kind of communication to verbal communication, and it's what you do before you have made up your mind on how you feel, so it would be unwise to state "I'm interested in you" at this point, when you are still getting to know each other and having a bit of fun (i.e. flirting, it's fun. Just stating how you feel ruins the flirting part, which I don't see as "game-playing" - which is manipulation - but simply a part of seduction).


ou ou.
Well ok then. In my eyes, everything not totally straightforward is part of the game aka gaming. When I say "I need to go now, have to wake up early (geez he is boring, go away of me) it's gaming.
Trying to impress someone = gaming.
Asking for salt - when your soup is tasteless, not gaming. But any other reason is gaming in my eyes.
Flirting is gaming by definition http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flirting
When you use nonverbal communication because straight words would "ruin the moment" aka expose your intentions too early, it is gaming. Because you don't want him to know for sure aka use words. You want to play and you want to create a backdoor to walk away at any moment after you find out he is not so charming. "What?! I have been polite only, it didn't mean what you think..."


Quote:
I wouldn't lose them, because if I'm interested, I'll come back.


That's why they keep coming back - because they are interested or autistic :lol:

Quote:
I'm not a game player. This part of our conversation was about ME not following HIM. If I'm supposed to follow him also, then men are playing the same game women play, and this thread shouldn't be gender-specific
.

Sure we play the same game. But I would not say we want to do it. We would really love to came directly to the girl and say "hi, I would love to date you/f**k you" But... I do not know why, it almost never works this direct way. So we have to use all that crap instead ;)

And why are many threads here gender specific? Because when dealing with the same gender, we don't need to use gaming. What for? No sex involved means no problem. If I want something from my mates, I simply tell them. We don't need to be "polite" or want to impress each other. Don't know if this applies to women too :P


Quote:
I stick to my view that if I said that and meant it, then I will return. It's up to me to return, not up to him to chase me down.


Ok, but then don't wonder they keep chasing you. It is like coming to hot dog stand, putting 3 bucks on the plate and wondering they serve you a hot dog. They simply don't know you want a coke ;)


Quote:
Okay yes, I would like to be able to expect a man to know that if I end the conversation and walk away from him, that that doesn't mean I want him to follow after me. That's not any kind of special "understanding women" thing, it seems like common sense to me.


He would understand this, if you tell him or show him very clearly. But if you smile a lot, talk to him for few minutes, ask him few questions = be friendly in general - and then leave because you don't like him... Most of us would be confused. And have all rights to misunderstand and follow you after.

Quote:
What the OP is talking about seems like less common sense, that if I walk away from him, I expect him to understand that that means I want him to follow me.


Yes, exactly. Now I see it is upper (and unknown) level of gaming for you. But it is there, we deal with it quite often. So be patient with men who were schooled by this kind of women and chase you because of it ;)



Neo Redpill 101
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03 Apr 2016, 11:49 am

infilove wrote:
WHAT IS GAME PLAYING
If your a guy going out on the dating field looking for relationship, you may often find women will play games. Like all men NT or AS you may have encountered times where women you have dated have did things that you didn't understand why. i.e. a girl may come up and show signs that she clearly liked you and then the next moment suddenly showed signs of disinterest and you felt like you did nothing wrong, you said the right things, wore the right cloths, and did the right things. Often the reasons why these things happen sometimes is called game playing.

WHY WOMEN PLAY GAME
Women will often play games with men on the dating field. Sometimes they will try to make a guy jealous on purpose by talking to other guys, sometimes they may show interest and then suddenly appear to not show interest like i previously said, and sometimes on some extremes may make plans with you but may come late or even back out. They will do this often when your first meeting a potential mate but it happens during a long term relationships too and the reason is the same. Now you are probably wondering, what is the reason? why do women play games? The answer is simple, 1) women want to know that they are attractive 2) they want to know if the person they like likes them. Women will often go into great lengths to see weather guys like them and use different ways to try to experiment to see how if guys truly does like them. So as a way to find they play games as a way to test that.....basically to test a guy in seeing if they truly are interested in them. As you all know, actions speak louder then words. One example I previously mentioned in the first paragraph, when a girl at a bar shows interest in you but then suddenly runs off to talk to other people and your wondering what the heck just happened, she is actually seeing if you will now come to chase her....to see if you REALLY are interested in her. In other words when a women plays a game it is often a good thing, it often means the girl does like you. They are trying to see if you will then initiate the next move to make the interaction go further. So next time if a girl talks to you at a bar or any place and seems to show interest or is seeming to mess with your mind, understand it is probably not because they don't like you but it's the opposite. There are some occasions however a girl may not like you but will still flirt with you. They may do that for the same reason....to see if they are attractive. They also like the thrill of being chased by men because that will make them know that they are attractive. One way to tell if this is happening and that they are not interested in you is if you try to pursue them and you get rejected almost immediatly.... they will not be interested in wanting to continue to talk to you while ones that are will (keep in mind that interested ones will sometimes make you have to try several attempts to chase them, i often call these hard to get kind of girls). I hope this helps clarifies some misunderstanding about game playing.


This all makes perfect sense BUT what about when women do this to find out you really like them and then they still REJECT you after you take the next step?



AR15000
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03 Apr 2016, 12:13 pm

Uprising wrote:
kate123A wrote:
umm

generally speaking when I was late for dates when I was younger it was b/c I couldn't find my car keys. Also I had to read the instructions on how to apply the make up, figure out where my purse was, and locate my glasses. Plus sometimes my roommates would be horrified by my clothing choices(it needed to be feminine) and had input into what I should wear. Then there was going to someplace new and not getting lost.

I always figured if a guy liked me he'd call/ask me out/or want to spend time with me. Maybe NT women are different though but I never noticed any game playing....I never did the bar thing b/c I don't drink and cigarette smoke bothers me. Also I've noise sensitivity.

Most people play games with each other, whether it be men or women or dating or not.

It's a part of their characters.

Genetic.




Nevertheless, men and women play different games because the sexes have very different roles in the dating/mating/procreating game. DUH!

Generalizations about men and women are often very true in this area of life. If you try to date women assuming that their behavior and responses to things are no different than guys, you will fail. I've been told by more than one woman to my face that they do not appreciate being treated like men because they are NOT men.

Political correctness has no place when it comes to dating behaviour and strategies for men vs women.



hurtloam
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04 Apr 2016, 2:50 am

Woah, this is an old thread. What happened to Shau?



AspieOtaku
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06 Apr 2016, 7:18 am

Because they think of men as stupid inferior play things.


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