I'm so frustrated with dating

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Ferrus91
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26 Dec 2013, 6:19 am

Meghan2012 wrote:
I have Asperger's, and I have a more severe case of it. I have a lot of trouble socializing, I tend to say the wrong/inappropriate things without realizing it, and just about everything else that comes with Asperger's. I'm not stupid, in fact I have an above average IQ. I'm currently in school to pursue a degree to become a forensic scientist. Like most people with Asperger's, I have one main interest that I'm obsessed with. My obsession is with science. Often the only thing that I want to talk about is science. I'm 19 and I've had 2 short term boyfriends in the past, but both left me because of my Asperger's. The first because he "didn't want to date a ret*d", which is very inaccurate since I have an above average IQ. The second left because he couldn't deal with certain aspects of my Asperger's, such as the fact that I dont like to attend parties because of my lack of social abilities and my strict routines. Does anyone know how to cope with all of this rejection and loneliness? It's so difficult, because guys aren't willing to look past my condition :?

I have a range of special interests that mainly include Computer Science and History. I have had to kind of train myself only to talk to other people who are into those intellectual subjects about it - but it often kind of leaves me without much to say to many people.



equestriatola
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28 Dec 2013, 9:45 am

I've had only one date. The girl I am interested in is rather busy, but I did see her in September.


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BlackImage
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28 Dec 2013, 11:04 am

Meghan2012 wrote:
I have Asperger's, and I have a more severe case of it. I have a lot of trouble socializing, I tend to say the wrong/inappropriate things without realizing it, and just about everything else that comes with Asperger's. I'm not stupid, in fact I have an above average IQ. I'm currently in school to pursue a degree to become a forensic scientist. Like most people with Asperger's, I have one main interest that I'm obsessed with. My obsession is with science. Often the only thing that I want to talk about is science. I'm 19 and I've had 2 short term boyfriends in the past, but both left me because of my Asperger's. The first because he "didn't want to date a ret*d", which is very inaccurate since I have an above average IQ. The second left because he couldn't deal with certain aspects of my Asperger's, such as the fact that I dont like to attend parties because of my lack of social abilities and my strict routines. Does anyone know how to cope with all of this rejection and loneliness? It's so difficult, because guys aren't willing to look past my condition :?

I think you've been dating the wrong guys. They sound childish to me. Not everyone into parties. Wait until you have finish collage, then starting looking. Mature minded guys are the way to go. Also be friends first with a guy, that way you can get to know them and tell them you want to be friends first.
Nerdy/geeky guys are good too :) that what i look for since i am a geek myself.
If someone won't accept for who you are, they ain't worth the trouble.
I'm 30 and i still haven't gotten a bf, I only started wanting a relationship when i was 26.
I take all the rejection and loneliness with a grain of salt.



MadeUnderground
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28 Dec 2013, 12:41 pm

Try not to talk too obsessively about your special interest or find someone with the same special interest who enjoys talking endlessly about it.

I never knew how bombarding an aspie can be with their special interest until recently. It winds up being a one ended... talk from them because I respond so little that it could barely be considered a conversation.

It's pretty off putting and annoying, TBH. Having someone go on and on and on about something I know very little about just makes me want to jump off a cliff.. But it could be better than not talking much at all and isolate which is what I do.

Meh (shrug)